dear journal-shit
so i think it's time i started putting down my feelings again. i've been losing track of how i really feel lately. i think its because i've been around so many fake people my whole life, i've become fake myself to get by.
it's crazy. AOL...AIM...screen names. facebooks, myspace. people show how they feel through those. it's easier to block somebody than to resolve why you don't like them. or its just not even worth resolving. that in itself shows how they felt about you from the get-go.
in a world where i've felt so paranoid about how good a person i am compared to others, these are some of the things that actually get to me. someone can mess up in so many other ways in person around me, say fucked up shit to my face, etc... but once they block my screen name i know its for real. hah... it makes me wonder what kind of person i really am to people. if they view me as some creep that needs a restraining order.
i hate myself.
it's crazy. AOL...AIM...screen names. facebooks, myspace. people show how they feel through those. it's easier to block somebody than to resolve why you don't like them. or its just not even worth resolving. that in itself shows how they felt about you from the get-go.
in a world where i've felt so paranoid about how good a person i am compared to others, these are some of the things that actually get to me. someone can mess up in so many other ways in person around me, say fucked up shit to my face, etc... but once they block my screen name i know its for real. hah... it makes me wonder what kind of person i really am to people. if they view me as some creep that needs a restraining order.
i hate myself.