(no subject)
so I am scared.
a lot of stuff in my life is just all...crazy.
I am scared for school a lot.
I am going into my Senior year blind...half of the friends I had this past year are graduating and the other half...well we don't talk anymore...
and I realized that theatre is going to suck a lot. I mean there is only a few people left I can even confide anything in and thats hard...
Last night I started sobbing uncontrollably...and I prayed...and actually finished...thats a first time in about 5 years...I willingly went to church this morning...it was nice, I felt closer to God, but I didn't feel better. I may be suffering from depression. I mean it's in my history...
wait let me see if Wedding Singer will work.
...
worked. I swear to god it's my feel good musical. and I don't even relate to the lyrics in the song that does it for me. its about love and "when it is your wedding day"... I mean maybe its my hope for love and weddings idk...i doubt it because I don't really believe in love anymore...I believe in extreme attraction.
idk.
I went running/walking with Katie today, and it was hard to talk a lot with her because I am just struggling with words and everything social lately...
I won't IM people...I'll only converse if the other person initiates it...
idk...issues..whatever, my mom is making me get off so I have to leave this to be continued....
a lot of stuff in my life is just all...crazy.
I am scared for school a lot.
I am going into my Senior year blind...half of the friends I had this past year are graduating and the other half...well we don't talk anymore...
and I realized that theatre is going to suck a lot. I mean there is only a few people left I can even confide anything in and thats hard...
Last night I started sobbing uncontrollably...and I prayed...and actually finished...thats a first time in about 5 years...I willingly went to church this morning...it was nice, I felt closer to God, but I didn't feel better. I may be suffering from depression. I mean it's in my history...
wait let me see if Wedding Singer will work.
...
worked. I swear to god it's my feel good musical. and I don't even relate to the lyrics in the song that does it for me. its about love and "when it is your wedding day"... I mean maybe its my hope for love and weddings idk...i doubt it because I don't really believe in love anymore...I believe in extreme attraction.
idk.
I went running/walking with Katie today, and it was hard to talk a lot with her because I am just struggling with words and everything social lately...
I won't IM people...I'll only converse if the other person initiates it...
idk...issues..whatever, my mom is making me get off so I have to leave this to be continued....