(no subject)
I wish I would stop dreaming about Melissa. I dream about her at least once a week. Last night was a nice dream... We were moving into a haunted house that my best friend Troy was just moving out of. She was happy this time (usually when I dream about her she's mad). Every time I wake up from dreaming about her I want to cry. She was so toxic for me, but I can't help but love her. I suppose you can't help who you love... But I wish I could stop loving her. I know I made the right decission when I left her, but when I dream about her constantly I can't help but start to second guess my decission.
My dreams are so sensory-laden when she's in them. I can smell her hair, and feel her warmth... the curve of her hips held in my hands, and how soft her skin was. I think she smiles more in my dreams than she does in real life. Maybe she smiles more in real life now that I'm not in it. I don't think I'll ever get over her completely.
Today I really wish I had a warm body to cuddle with.
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