Sigh...
If I had tried to have a baby when I was 17 I would have probably gotten pregnant my first try, but no I tried to be responsible and do the responsible thing and at 27 and after 5 months on fertility drugs nada. The major components of getting pregnant are working... DH's sperm is just fine, my post ovulation progesterone levels are 52 (really good and high indicating ovulation and good corpus luteal activity) but I keep getting BFNs. I have one more OB/GYN appointment and then I am off to the reproductive endocrinologist. Doesn't seem possible. When I got the prescription for clomid back in September I thought that March seemed so far off and that I wouldn't have to even think about getting the referral because we were going to get pregnant. Sometimes things just don't work out the way that you think they are going to....
In the past few months of baby craziness I have learned a few things about infertility and TTC and I thought I would impart them upon you:
~It still amazes me that I have been temping for so long that it is an automatic reflex to wake up and grab my basal body thermometer.
~Any time I use the bathroom now I have to stop to think about whether or not I am supposed to pee in a cup. OPKs and home pregnancy tests are the devil. It is a wonder that I haven't developed a UTI.
~At first the words "Just relax... it WILL happen" were comforting. Now I they just make me want to punch the person saying it in the face repeatedly. I mean just how the HECK do they know?
~Never tell your DH that you know when you are going to ovulate. Your DH will go from a sure shot to a broken weapon in an instant. It is much better that he doesn't know why he is getting this wonderful treat.
~I thought that having a baby would be expensive... I was wrong. OPK's, home pregnancy tests, sperm-friendly lube, clomid, extra toliet paper (do you really want to know?), and all those dealing with your fertility types of books. Infertility is expensive and at the end of the day neither your home pregnancy tests nor your sperm-friendly lube will say "I love you mommy"
~At first having an excuse to have sex every day is thrilling. You don't want to be too tired or have a headache... and believe you me the man will have no issues. Then the day comes when your partner has a headache... Does that really happen to men?
~At first I gave up everything I was supposed to. I stopped drinking anything with caffeine, I stopped drinking anything with alcohol, I stopped eating as many processed foods, and I tried to up my fiber in every way I could. After all this time I will have and espresso with my glass of wine (as long as I am not in the two week wait), and I will allow myself a slice of pizza, or a burger. Oh and I threw out the metamucil.
~It is inevitable that if you are TTC and are having issues that everyone you know and some people you wish you didn't will get pregnant. I have friends that I haven't spoken to in years popping out of the wood work just to message me and let me know they are pregnant. Thanks I really needed that right now!
~This is continuation from above: You get really good at avoiding baby showers. You will find the most creative ways to get out of watching someone else have the dream you've been waiting on. Baby shower on Saturday? "Sorry my dog has really bad diarrhea and I am up to my elbows in it..."
~It is cute when you first announce to friends and family that you are TTC and they ask are you pregnant yet. After all this time I just want to say do I look fracking pregnant to you???? Sigh! No sorry I've failed at the one biological purpose I am supposed to serve: Reproduction. I have a scab do you want to pick that raw too?
~I've learned that my mother really does love me, but when it comes to talking about getting pregnant with her things go awry. My mom thinks we are trying to hard. I should stop temping and I should stop charting. Just do it and have fun.... Mom there was a time for that and then the doctor said hey you aren't going to be able to do this on your own. Now you have to chart, temp, and take these lovely pills that will make you crazy.
~Hormones are wonderful and have a purpose... too many hormones are not and do not. By the end of the month I feel like a super hero, but not the good kind. I have lovingly dubbed my alter ego the Incredible Super (W)ITCH. My super power? I am able to go from normal to crazy in .006 seconds. Just watch me... I'll cry, scream, and then ask you calmly if you'd like a cup of tea. Don't think I'll be asked to join the Fantastic Four anytime soon.
~I have also learned that the advise I took when I first started trying to conceive really irks me now. I don't care that your second cousin twice removed had issues TTC and that she did handstands after sex and finally got pregnant. I also don't care if your mom had a tilted uterus and had to do it doggy style to conceive. Trust me I've tried everything.... it doesn't work and I don't need to know ANYMORE about your family. K thanks!
~I also never thought that getting pregnant would require me to learn a whole new language. TTC, BBT, HPT, BFN, BFP, OPK, AF, FX, CD, DPO, BDing, etc.... It's a whole new world out there that most breeders don't even know about!
This whole infertility thing has been quite the journey and if my luck holds up it is not over yet. Maybe you'll see Gary and I on TV one day. Olivia and Gary plus 8.... I really don't mind that many kids I just hope they don't all come at once. If so Gary better be saving up for my tummy tuck!
In the past few months of baby craziness I have learned a few things about infertility and TTC and I thought I would impart them upon you:
~It still amazes me that I have been temping for so long that it is an automatic reflex to wake up and grab my basal body thermometer.
~Any time I use the bathroom now I have to stop to think about whether or not I am supposed to pee in a cup. OPKs and home pregnancy tests are the devil. It is a wonder that I haven't developed a UTI.
~At first the words "Just relax... it WILL happen" were comforting. Now I they just make me want to punch the person saying it in the face repeatedly. I mean just how the HECK do they know?
~Never tell your DH that you know when you are going to ovulate. Your DH will go from a sure shot to a broken weapon in an instant. It is much better that he doesn't know why he is getting this wonderful treat.
~I thought that having a baby would be expensive... I was wrong. OPK's, home pregnancy tests, sperm-friendly lube, clomid, extra toliet paper (do you really want to know?), and all those dealing with your fertility types of books. Infertility is expensive and at the end of the day neither your home pregnancy tests nor your sperm-friendly lube will say "I love you mommy"
~At first having an excuse to have sex every day is thrilling. You don't want to be too tired or have a headache... and believe you me the man will have no issues. Then the day comes when your partner has a headache... Does that really happen to men?
~At first I gave up everything I was supposed to. I stopped drinking anything with caffeine, I stopped drinking anything with alcohol, I stopped eating as many processed foods, and I tried to up my fiber in every way I could. After all this time I will have and espresso with my glass of wine (as long as I am not in the two week wait), and I will allow myself a slice of pizza, or a burger. Oh and I threw out the metamucil.
~It is inevitable that if you are TTC and are having issues that everyone you know and some people you wish you didn't will get pregnant. I have friends that I haven't spoken to in years popping out of the wood work just to message me and let me know they are pregnant. Thanks I really needed that right now!
~This is continuation from above: You get really good at avoiding baby showers. You will find the most creative ways to get out of watching someone else have the dream you've been waiting on. Baby shower on Saturday? "Sorry my dog has really bad diarrhea and I am up to my elbows in it..."
~It is cute when you first announce to friends and family that you are TTC and they ask are you pregnant yet. After all this time I just want to say do I look fracking pregnant to you???? Sigh! No sorry I've failed at the one biological purpose I am supposed to serve: Reproduction. I have a scab do you want to pick that raw too?
~I've learned that my mother really does love me, but when it comes to talking about getting pregnant with her things go awry. My mom thinks we are trying to hard. I should stop temping and I should stop charting. Just do it and have fun.... Mom there was a time for that and then the doctor said hey you aren't going to be able to do this on your own. Now you have to chart, temp, and take these lovely pills that will make you crazy.
~Hormones are wonderful and have a purpose... too many hormones are not and do not. By the end of the month I feel like a super hero, but not the good kind. I have lovingly dubbed my alter ego the Incredible Super (W)ITCH. My super power? I am able to go from normal to crazy in .006 seconds. Just watch me... I'll cry, scream, and then ask you calmly if you'd like a cup of tea. Don't think I'll be asked to join the Fantastic Four anytime soon.
~I have also learned that the advise I took when I first started trying to conceive really irks me now. I don't care that your second cousin twice removed had issues TTC and that she did handstands after sex and finally got pregnant. I also don't care if your mom had a tilted uterus and had to do it doggy style to conceive. Trust me I've tried everything.... it doesn't work and I don't need to know ANYMORE about your family. K thanks!
~I also never thought that getting pregnant would require me to learn a whole new language. TTC, BBT, HPT, BFN, BFP, OPK, AF, FX, CD, DPO, BDing, etc.... It's a whole new world out there that most breeders don't even know about!
This whole infertility thing has been quite the journey and if my luck holds up it is not over yet. Maybe you'll see Gary and I on TV one day. Olivia and Gary plus 8.... I really don't mind that many kids I just hope they don't all come at once. If so Gary better be saving up for my tummy tuck!