Another one for Absi-Wri-Mo
An original piece today. Mostly fiction with a touch of reality.
I sometimes wonder if my life has been worth it.
There’s been a lot of mistakes along the way. Pieces of my heart just torn away from me one by one. I’ve had love that lifted me so high it was unreal and I’ve had love that left me wanting to just end everything.
The trials of my youth would have been hard for anyone. Losing all my family so fast and so swiftly should have destroyed me but somehow it didn’t. It was so strange that every time I said goodbye to another, I felt stronger and freer.
But of course, as with all of us, my strength didn’t last for long. Of course for some, 30 years is long enough. It’s old enough to have had a life but not too old that you start to take things for granted and wish you had them back again.
So now I find myself near death and wondering how I’ll be remembered. I guess we all do. We hope it’s for something good. Something worthwhile. We hoped that we’ve touched people’s lives in a way that’s helped them in some way - no matter how small.
All I know is that I have had a wonderful group of people around me these last few years. I jus wish it hadn’t taken so long for me to find them all.
Of course I don’t see them now, we’ve all said our goodbyes to one another and they keep their distance. They know the call will come and they will have to continue that which I’ve started.
I just hope there’s enough of them to do it. I know how hard it can be to keep going. I just knew I had to because there was no one else to help. But I’ve changed that for them. They all have each other in the end.
That’s the important thing I guess. To know that they have each other. Of course I myself will just be hoping that it just doesn’t rain on the day. I’d hate to have to listen to them complain about getting wet from wherever it is I’ll end up once I’m out of this life.
But I guess, now I really think about it, it has been worth it, it’s been fun and horrible though. But that’s life I guess. Some have long ones, some have short. Some don’t even get one even for a split second. But if my death means another can live then so be it.
I was getting a bit bored anyway.
I sometimes wonder if my life has been worth it.
There’s been a lot of mistakes along the way. Pieces of my heart just torn away from me one by one. I’ve had love that lifted me so high it was unreal and I’ve had love that left me wanting to just end everything.
The trials of my youth would have been hard for anyone. Losing all my family so fast and so swiftly should have destroyed me but somehow it didn’t. It was so strange that every time I said goodbye to another, I felt stronger and freer.
But of course, as with all of us, my strength didn’t last for long. Of course for some, 30 years is long enough. It’s old enough to have had a life but not too old that you start to take things for granted and wish you had them back again.
So now I find myself near death and wondering how I’ll be remembered. I guess we all do. We hope it’s for something good. Something worthwhile. We hoped that we’ve touched people’s lives in a way that’s helped them in some way - no matter how small.
All I know is that I have had a wonderful group of people around me these last few years. I jus wish it hadn’t taken so long for me to find them all.
Of course I don’t see them now, we’ve all said our goodbyes to one another and they keep their distance. They know the call will come and they will have to continue that which I’ve started.
I just hope there’s enough of them to do it. I know how hard it can be to keep going. I just knew I had to because there was no one else to help. But I’ve changed that for them. They all have each other in the end.
That’s the important thing I guess. To know that they have each other. Of course I myself will just be hoping that it just doesn’t rain on the day. I’d hate to have to listen to them complain about getting wet from wherever it is I’ll end up once I’m out of this life.
But I guess, now I really think about it, it has been worth it, it’s been fun and horrible though. But that’s life I guess. Some have long ones, some have short. Some don’t even get one even for a split second. But if my death means another can live then so be it.
I was getting a bit bored anyway.