midnight madness!
usernameabsinthe reviews Night Ranger's Sister Christian
A few days ago I was listening to an oftentimes amusing program on National Public Radio. One part outlined how the magazine Popular Science recently used the following example in a story: "Holding up a lighter during a concert does contribute to global warming. But rest assured-- 1,000 Night Ranger fans holding up lighters during the entire length of the song 'Sister Christian' would have less of an impact on the environment than a power plant generating for the length of one minute." (So don't worry about global warming!! Or do worry!! Or something!!) I had definitely heard the name of the song before, although I couldn't recall what it sounded like. Thinking that a search for an answer would be at least as amusing as National Public Radio, I accessed my trusty bookmarked collection of 1980's music videos. The media player started up and I was like, "Hmm... yes, yes.... it sounds just like every cheesy 80s pseudo-rock power-ballad I've ever heard...." until the chorus hit. Fuck yes! It's the song! The song everyone has known all along-- albeit possibly unawares. It's as unmistakable as the smell of an overly-chlorinated swimming pool in midsummer, or the piquant bouquet of a freshly simmering potful of Top Ramen Oriental Flavor. "Sister Christian" is in the steady rotation of songs that you and nine of your closest friends have joyfully ridiculed in the ex-church-van on the way to an out-of-town punk show because the tape deck was on the fritz and you'd tuned in to the "classic rock" station for some momentary amusement to go along with your cheap domestic beer. The song with the chorus that I've always logically interpreted as "Motorhead! It's all right to fight!" Which sounds like Night Ranger is giving Motorhead the go-ahead to kick someone's ass. Probably Journey's. And that totally makes sense, until you realize that Lemmy Kilmister probably doesn't need anyone's permission to kick Journey's ass. A quick internet lyric search revealed that people find shit like this crucial enough to feature on web sites, and I applaud them.
(Actual lyrics!)
Motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight
Which means the REAL story told by the song and (more poignantly) video is how an overwhelmingly prudish and uptight WASP of a private academy student doesn't free her hair from her barrettes until witnessing a 30-something fully-permed rock band eating french fries and throwing food at each other directly outside the school's girls' restroom, after which she succumbs to fiery temptation and they spirit her away to the drummer's mom's basement in their cherryapple red convertible. If only my high school years could have ended as sweetly.
Rating: "Motoring?!" What the fuck?
Morals Gleaned: To acheive "popularity" status in 1984 you apparently had to loosen up and fuck Night Ranger.
A few days ago I was listening to an oftentimes amusing program on National Public Radio. One part outlined how the magazine Popular Science recently used the following example in a story: "Holding up a lighter during a concert does contribute to global warming. But rest assured-- 1,000 Night Ranger fans holding up lighters during the entire length of the song 'Sister Christian' would have less of an impact on the environment than a power plant generating for the length of one minute." (So don't worry about global warming!! Or do worry!! Or something!!) I had definitely heard the name of the song before, although I couldn't recall what it sounded like. Thinking that a search for an answer would be at least as amusing as National Public Radio, I accessed my trusty bookmarked collection of 1980's music videos. The media player started up and I was like, "Hmm... yes, yes.... it sounds just like every cheesy 80s pseudo-rock power-ballad I've ever heard...." until the chorus hit. Fuck yes! It's the song! The song everyone has known all along-- albeit possibly unawares. It's as unmistakable as the smell of an overly-chlorinated swimming pool in midsummer, or the piquant bouquet of a freshly simmering potful of Top Ramen Oriental Flavor. "Sister Christian" is in the steady rotation of songs that you and nine of your closest friends have joyfully ridiculed in the ex-church-van on the way to an out-of-town punk show because the tape deck was on the fritz and you'd tuned in to the "classic rock" station for some momentary amusement to go along with your cheap domestic beer. The song with the chorus that I've always logically interpreted as "Motorhead! It's all right to fight!" Which sounds like Night Ranger is giving Motorhead the go-ahead to kick someone's ass. Probably Journey's. And that totally makes sense, until you realize that Lemmy Kilmister probably doesn't need anyone's permission to kick Journey's ass. A quick internet lyric search revealed that people find shit like this crucial enough to feature on web sites, and I applaud them.
(Actual lyrics!)
Motoring
What's your price for flight
In finding mister right
You'll be alright tonight
Which means the REAL story told by the song and (more poignantly) video is how an overwhelmingly prudish and uptight WASP of a private academy student doesn't free her hair from her barrettes until witnessing a 30-something fully-permed rock band eating french fries and throwing food at each other directly outside the school's girls' restroom, after which she succumbs to fiery temptation and they spirit her away to the drummer's mom's basement in their cherryapple red convertible. If only my high school years could have ended as sweetly.
Rating: "Motoring?!" What the fuck?
Morals Gleaned: To acheive "popularity" status in 1984 you apparently had to loosen up and fuck Night Ranger.