solitude

[absinth13]

it was an old friends wedding on saturday. i came home early on friday for it.
was a very religious ceremony, but still, i am glad i came home for it.
was invited to the reception too, although not originally,
but i understand the reason for that.
Got talking to her for a little while, about me, about everything
that is going on with me at the moment. about me not being interested,
or thinking i should be in a relationship for a long time.
she pretty much agreed with me, and she always new me better than i do.
i don't want to hurt anyone like this ever again. i don't want anyone to love
me.

i am so sorry.

um, i wander if you are thinking about how i am doing now, or more, what you are thinking.
i know you probably think i am just moving on, and getting over this quickly enough,
but i'm not. i'm hurting. i'm confused. i am really worried about you. i wish i
could be there for you. i am so lonely, but now believe that is the way it should be
for me. i should be alone, for the sake of others. i still cry alot, and sleep curled
up with your jumper every night. i don't like being straight at all.