Family
We are having a party for Katie's first birthday this Saturday. (And I really need to get started cleaning my house. Eek! After this, I swear.) It's not going to be anything huge. My friend Jamie and her baby are coming, my mom and Eddie, Bobby's dad and Miss Roxann, Richard and Jessica. Bobby's mom and her husband, Jeff, were also going to be here, but they called Bobby yesterday to say Jeff couldn't get the time off, and her knees hurt after long drives anyway, so they won't be here. I talked to her last Friday, and she went on and on about how excited she was and couldn't wait to see how much Katie has grown up.
I know she believes the reasons she's given us for not coming, but she's always got reasons to not come and they are always delivered at the last minute. My rule is usually to believe she's coming when she shows up, but she seemed so enthusiastic. I don't know why my feelings are hurt by this; she's not my mother. She's alienated a lot of her family already (her sisters, for example), and I wonder if she'll ever realize what she's lost. If so, hopefully it will be before it is too late.
Bobby's dad sent me a message that says:
Bobby called and told me that Ann is not coming. What a let down. I heard a hurt in his voice I had not heard since he was a young child. Him waiting for his Mom to show up, then 4 hrs after she was supposed to be there call and say she could not make it. I'm not mad, just hurt. It's good to see you as a mom and how much you care. Hope this is not to mushy.
Bobby and I talked about it last night. About how the parent who cares about the child must deal with the consequences of the other's irresponsibility and apathy. We have talked about his parents and his upbringing a lot since we moved here and he reconciled with his dad. There is still hurt and regret between them, but Bobby knows now that his dad loves him and was protecting him from his mother's unreliability. He's thankful for that now, where he only resented it before. It is strange how much our perspective changed as we became adults and then again when we became parents.
We hope that our experiences with divorce will strengthen our relationship and our parenting. I fear that it is inevitable for Katie to break our hearts. Does any family make it through teenagers completely intact? I love her so much; I wish I could slow down time. She is already so different than she was. It's astounding how much happens in the first year.
What a melancholy post! I need to get a hold of myself. Happiness is a choice, and I have a lot to be happy for.
I know she believes the reasons she's given us for not coming, but she's always got reasons to not come and they are always delivered at the last minute. My rule is usually to believe she's coming when she shows up, but she seemed so enthusiastic. I don't know why my feelings are hurt by this; she's not my mother. She's alienated a lot of her family already (her sisters, for example), and I wonder if she'll ever realize what she's lost. If so, hopefully it will be before it is too late.
Bobby's dad sent me a message that says:
Bobby called and told me that Ann is not coming. What a let down. I heard a hurt in his voice I had not heard since he was a young child. Him waiting for his Mom to show up, then 4 hrs after she was supposed to be there call and say she could not make it. I'm not mad, just hurt. It's good to see you as a mom and how much you care. Hope this is not to mushy.
Bobby and I talked about it last night. About how the parent who cares about the child must deal with the consequences of the other's irresponsibility and apathy. We have talked about his parents and his upbringing a lot since we moved here and he reconciled with his dad. There is still hurt and regret between them, but Bobby knows now that his dad loves him and was protecting him from his mother's unreliability. He's thankful for that now, where he only resented it before. It is strange how much our perspective changed as we became adults and then again when we became parents.
We hope that our experiences with divorce will strengthen our relationship and our parenting. I fear that it is inevitable for Katie to break our hearts. Does any family make it through teenagers completely intact? I love her so much; I wish I could slow down time. She is already so different than she was. It's astounding how much happens in the first year.
What a melancholy post! I need to get a hold of myself. Happiness is a choice, and I have a lot to be happy for.