May 21, 2005 11:23
Its amaxing how sometimes life can feel so defeated. For example when I was packing for camp and to store my stuff I was getting really upset that I was alone. It seemd like everyone either took a few weekends to move stuff to their homes that were 1 or 2 hhours away, or their parents came to help them move all of their stuff home. I was feeling so lonely and sad. But then I realized I have something better. Even if my mom didn't help me, I have friends who did. Zach and Meredidh (ironic- maybe?) both came to my rescue for the second year in a row. I am not alone, I have been blessed woth wonderful friends- and they in no way have responsibility over me, they just love me as friends anyways. What an amazing gift.
Another thing thats beenm on my mind if how funny I work, well i guess all people work. Just needing to be known. I read a something the other day that made me really sad. I didnt ever talk about it, but letting one of my good friends read it i knew that he knew what I was thinking, I just want someone to undestand me and know whats going on in my hear. I dont want to face this world alone. Soemtimes I am desperate for independence, desperate for pity and hardships that will make me blossom into a better person in the long run. Man that's crappy. I will be so much better off when I just accept the community around me, embrace it, and find joy in all God's blessings. I am so silly sometimes with the way I look at the world. so selfish.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us." - Hebrews 12:1
And now since I am at camp, at home, I get to return to work.God is so gracious to me.