Level 3 (Phone)

[abravelikehero]

HELP! HELP ME! I'm trapped inside with a homicidal dead bird! It's trying to kill me!

[There's a pause, and then a startled gasp, his tone of voice is frantic and whiny and he might be crying.]

Don't hurt my comics! Please! I haven't read some of those yet! Please don't kill me, I'm too young to die!

Comments

[ate_it_all]

[Taking care not to touch her turkey yet, Conchita's started in on all the other food and is just. Watchin' this serenely. Now that's entertainment!]

[abravelikehero]

[It truly is amazing to watch a young man be terrified by a cooked reanimated bird.

Currently he was pressed against a corner of the dining room as if he was in some kind of mortal danger. He simply was worried the turkey was somehow a higher level than him and one hit might do him away.]

Wh-what are you doing? Please help!

[ate_it_all]

Oh, don't be ridiculous. It's still a roast turkey, is it not?

[giggle.]

[abravelikehero]

B-but it might be level 100 and one hit kill me! The way I am now, even level five could probably do it, or level two, I don't have any equipment!

[In the middle of talking, the turkey jumps and lunges at Almaz, he tries to defend by flailing, luckily for him he manages to hit the turkey sending it flying across the room and smacking into the wall. It slowly slides down leaving a grease stain, and sits on the floor unmoving.]

D-did I kill it...?

[ate_it_all]

It's a roast turkey, darling, it's been dead from the start.

[so no, you probably didn't. It's like a ZOMBIE.

She'll just be having some mashed potatoes]

But you could take this opportunity to carve the silly bird.

[abravelikehero]

You can kill things already dead.

[But now he's very nervous, and slowly starts to inch towards the still carcass.]

You're right, if it's in pieces it won't be so bad-

[Sadly he wasn't quick enough. Whatever daze it had been put it in, it recovered from. It leaps up and latches to Almaz' face knocking him over backwards. All that can be heard is a muffled scream.

[ate_it_all]

[LAUGHIN'.]

What a feisty creature.

[and now she's actually kind of interested in eating her turkey. You can only have side dishes for so long. She's getting up with the carving knife.]

[abravelikehero]

[He manages to pry it off again and throws it blindly away.]

Feisty is an understatement!

[ate_it_all]

My. At least you haven't died, as you suspected.

[...sigh, maybe she'd prefer some peace now that she's ready for turkey. She holds up the knife.]

Do you need to borrow this?

[abravelikehero]

Y-yes please.

[ate_it_all]

[Comes to hand it over then.]

[abravelikehero]

[Takes the knife, then turns towards the turkey. He looks more likely to cut himself than do anything to the bird though.

He raises the knife up, then swings it down at the little zombie! Amazingly he hits it, and cuts it nearly in half. Seems he's not so bad with a blade. It also looks like he was closing his eyes the entire time.]

Ah! I... I hit it! My weapon proficiency is still okay!

[ate_it_all]

[not bad, for having his eyes shut...]

Good for you.

[abravelikehero]

[He looks down at the dismembered pieces.]

Do you really think that's safe to eat...?

[ate_it_all]

Oh, of course it is.

[What she's not saying is EVERYTHING is safe for her to eat....she has a superhuman stomach.]

[abravelikehero]

[He's not sure if he could handle it, even if it was safe. It was just a bit too strange for him.]

Um... please... help yourself.