talk about not updating.
wow. i really do need to continue that entry. but not now.. im in college. and my life has done almost a complete 360.
lifes werid.
it throws curve balls at u when ur not expecting it, not wanting it or even thinking it.
werid things happen.
people change.
people grow.
people stay the same.
does being in a different place effect a person? make them change so completely? or not change at all?
is it werid to not fully take in everythings thats going on in a persons life at that time?
could it be possible for things to sneak up too quickly that theres no time to process. what if its never processed. . would that make it living a life that might not be real? but it is real your just not fully there body soul and mind? maybe the body and mind is. but the soul isnt . that wouldnt be right either.. maybe its only some parts but not the whole of each.
werid philosophical i actually spelt that right for the first time ever entry.
the things is. i dreaded going to college for my whole senior year in highschool. couldnt imagine it. just didnt see it happening at all.. maybe for those around me but not me. I didnt see me going to prom. not one bit, always wanted to, but never imagined and actually saw me there at prom.. but prom came and prom went, and then all of a sudden its graduation. i dreaded graduation so much. i remember watching Laguna beach 2-3 years ago and crying like a baby because i did not want graduation to come. granted i fucking . fucking hatedddd highschool everyone in it and everything about it, but i just did not want to graduate for the life of me. but then graduation came and went. all of a sudden im a highschool graduate. the summer was long, but short in the sense that its all ready over. it felt as if the days passed so slowly when i was home but then all of a sudden i was leaving. couldnt see that either. fucking moving to georiga? are u kidding? but here i am. about a month in to school and i feel that im just not processing this whole huge change.. i see it, but its just not getting threw my head at all.. everything just happened way to quickly. . but then again in the sense almost everything ive ever dreamed of but truely never thought could happen is happening.. but at the same time there are forces that i think are threatening to take it away.. i might not be able to pay for college and it worries me oh so much. . theres just such an issue with paying for college. i dont know why they dont make a book of guidelines. its crazyyness. i truely hope and pray i dont get kicked out because i havent paided all of my tution yet. granted i hated the fact of comming here. and at times i do get homesick, and almost anyone from back home i tell them its different, i miss NY. . im starting to not really miss it SO much. its as if in percents. Georgia 80% NY 20% . im liking georgia. i just say i miss ny because thats what i know.. thats my bubble where people know me. where i can talk to people and they can completly relate to what im saying "oh u kno the cup down on wantagh ave?" "yeahh yeahh! that place rocks." here in ga. most people have no idea where LONG ISLAND is. . what in the world?! . its that lil island thats comming outta NY. how do u not know that?! but im just getting use to ga. knowing where places are which roads to take to get to different places. i finally got my first kiss. i finally got a boy who i dont even know makes me feel so good. but in the begginning made me feel so special and lately my mind is making me crazy. second guessing everything, rethinking everything. i dunno, maybe if i just stop thinking about it, stop making it an issue, it will all work out, i feel whenever i do things like that execpt for when paying for college comes in to play because with that u NEED TO BE ON TOP OF THINGS DONT EVER FALL BEHIND. cuz then ur screwed a month into school realizing something u should have realized a month ago. anyway, when ever i stop thinking about something it just runs its course, i mean not completely stop thinking about it just to the extent that i shouldnt be constantly worrying about it as if its some HUGE problem when its not.. at least i hope its not. see there i go again. oh well. i truely hope that everyone in my life at this second is okay. i got a bad feeling last night and i dont know from what or why but i felt actually sick to my stomach and then it went away so im just sending out postive thoughts hoping everyone is fine, cuz apparently the hurricane is hitting NY tonight and i hope my home does not get damaged or anything terrible happens to those i love and even to those ive ever been in contact with with that im leaving off and going to sleep.. well prob gonna finish watching a movie and then sleep. but this was a good entry i feel. got alot out, worked alot out.
good night and peace out u cub scouts!
lifes werid.
it throws curve balls at u when ur not expecting it, not wanting it or even thinking it.
werid things happen.
people change.
people grow.
people stay the same.
does being in a different place effect a person? make them change so completely? or not change at all?
is it werid to not fully take in everythings thats going on in a persons life at that time?
could it be possible for things to sneak up too quickly that theres no time to process. what if its never processed. . would that make it living a life that might not be real? but it is real your just not fully there body soul and mind? maybe the body and mind is. but the soul isnt . that wouldnt be right either.. maybe its only some parts but not the whole of each.
werid philosophical i actually spelt that right for the first time ever entry.
the things is. i dreaded going to college for my whole senior year in highschool. couldnt imagine it. just didnt see it happening at all.. maybe for those around me but not me. I didnt see me going to prom. not one bit, always wanted to, but never imagined and actually saw me there at prom.. but prom came and prom went, and then all of a sudden its graduation. i dreaded graduation so much. i remember watching Laguna beach 2-3 years ago and crying like a baby because i did not want graduation to come. granted i fucking . fucking hatedddd highschool everyone in it and everything about it, but i just did not want to graduate for the life of me. but then graduation came and went. all of a sudden im a highschool graduate. the summer was long, but short in the sense that its all ready over. it felt as if the days passed so slowly when i was home but then all of a sudden i was leaving. couldnt see that either. fucking moving to georiga? are u kidding? but here i am. about a month in to school and i feel that im just not processing this whole huge change.. i see it, but its just not getting threw my head at all.. everything just happened way to quickly. . but then again in the sense almost everything ive ever dreamed of but truely never thought could happen is happening.. but at the same time there are forces that i think are threatening to take it away.. i might not be able to pay for college and it worries me oh so much. . theres just such an issue with paying for college. i dont know why they dont make a book of guidelines. its crazyyness. i truely hope and pray i dont get kicked out because i havent paided all of my tution yet. granted i hated the fact of comming here. and at times i do get homesick, and almost anyone from back home i tell them its different, i miss NY. . im starting to not really miss it SO much. its as if in percents. Georgia 80% NY 20% . im liking georgia. i just say i miss ny because thats what i know.. thats my bubble where people know me. where i can talk to people and they can completly relate to what im saying "oh u kno the cup down on wantagh ave?" "yeahh yeahh! that place rocks." here in ga. most people have no idea where LONG ISLAND is. . what in the world?! . its that lil island thats comming outta NY. how do u not know that?! but im just getting use to ga. knowing where places are which roads to take to get to different places. i finally got my first kiss. i finally got a boy who i dont even know makes me feel so good. but in the begginning made me feel so special and lately my mind is making me crazy. second guessing everything, rethinking everything. i dunno, maybe if i just stop thinking about it, stop making it an issue, it will all work out, i feel whenever i do things like that execpt for when paying for college comes in to play because with that u NEED TO BE ON TOP OF THINGS DONT EVER FALL BEHIND. cuz then ur screwed a month into school realizing something u should have realized a month ago. anyway, when ever i stop thinking about something it just runs its course, i mean not completely stop thinking about it just to the extent that i shouldnt be constantly worrying about it as if its some HUGE problem when its not.. at least i hope its not. see there i go again. oh well. i truely hope that everyone in my life at this second is okay. i got a bad feeling last night and i dont know from what or why but i felt actually sick to my stomach and then it went away so im just sending out postive thoughts hoping everyone is fine, cuz apparently the hurricane is hitting NY tonight and i hope my home does not get damaged or anything terrible happens to those i love and even to those ive ever been in contact with with that im leaving off and going to sleep.. well prob gonna finish watching a movie and then sleep. but this was a good entry i feel. got alot out, worked alot out.
good night and peace out u cub scouts!