Eight Fifteen Rhapsody

[aboutbunnies]

This is a belated Luau gift for Queen slybrunette, who requested something inspired by music. I also happen to know she's been enjoying the Battlestar Galactica parody of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, and while my little offering here is not nearly of the hilarious and clever quality of that one, I hope she enjoys these new lyrics, Lost-style.

So now I present, with apologies to Queen, Eight Fifteen Rhapsody, featuring Sawyer, Michael, Charlie, Jacob/Smoke Monster, Locke, Juliet, and Jack, with cameos by some other Losties, as well. I have a horrible voice, so be thankful these are just lyrics. (I wrote these lyrics singing over the original to make sure they fit - I think I frightened the neighbors.)




category: best humorous fic



Eight Fifteen Rhapsody
to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

Is this the real life,
Is this just fantasy?
They all think we're dead
Disappeared on Flight 815

Open your eyes
Look down to my tent and see
I'm just a conman
I'm the new sheriff
Because I've got the meds, got the gun
Got the books, got the porn
Any way the island moves
Doesn't really matter
To me, to me

Michael, just killed Ana
Put a gun up to her head
Pulled the trigger, now she's dead
Michael, Libby's love had just begun
But now you've gone and thrown it all away
Michael, ooo-oo-oo-ooh
Now you've made the fangirls cry
If you're not back again this time on Wednesday
Stay away, stay away
We never liked you anyway

Charlie, your time has come
In the underwater hatch
To fulfill Sir Desmond's flash
You all, everybody
He's got to go
Got to leave you all behind to save the girl
Charlie, ooo-oo-oo-ooh (Any way the island moves)
Why did you have to die?
I've always wished you'd never swum down at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
In a cabin, in a cabin, will you tell me where you aa-are
In a chair a-rocking, very very frightening me!
Smoky Monster
Smoky Monster
Smoky Monster
Smoky Monster
Smoky Monster, Jaa-aa-cob - New Otherton-on-on-on

I'm just a box man, nobody loves me
John's just a box man, doesn't have a family
Spare him his life from this thief of kidneys

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Ju-li-et! No! We will not let you go!
Let her go!
Ju-li-et! We will not let you go!
Let her go!
Ju-li-et! We will not let you go!
Let me go!
Will not let you go
Let me go
Will not let you go
Let me go
Oh, oh, oh, oh
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh, Benry Linus, Benry Linus
Benry Linus let me go!
My sis Rachel has a little boy she named for me!
For me!
for me....

So you say live together or we'll die alone
We're so sick of hearing that in your self-righteous tone
Ooh, Jack
We can't go back, Jack
We have to go back
We have to get back to that place

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
That's all that really matters
Anyone can see
That's all that really matters
That's all that really matters
To me

(Any way the island moves)