Extracted from an e-mail to my beloved Katy

[about_that]

I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the same, after two years I'm outta UCSB and hopefully in a really good college. I'm looking at Columbia University in NYC, among others. Maybe it's dumb to pay so much money to get your AA done, but I'm going to take advantage of the fact that UC has an awesome study abroad program. Next summer I was thinking of

Comments

[about_that]

Hey sorry if it came out like that I'm an arrogant jack-ass. I don't think I'm better than anyone. These are just my current opinions about religion and life in general, and I recognize that I can't prove them in any way shape or form, no more than you can really prove that your god exists. It's a metaphysical question that no one can really prove with scientific evidence or anything similar and that to truly believe in it requires a fair amount of "faith."

Being happy is obviously important in life. But I personally would rather be miserable and closer to truth than happy believing in a supposed lie. Now, I'm not implying that my opinions are truth and yours a lie, nor vice-versa. But I right now personally can't accept certain things in regards to religion. I was Catholic almost my entire life and a pretty devout one for a period of time. But I found that the more that I thought for myself the more the church stopped providing answers that satisfied me. The church and its members can create a very powerful atmosphere and sense of group community that I think helped me believe that I felt the presence of a higher power, even to the extent that when I was alone at times I would feel it as well. But I don't believe that I have ever experienced god. And things that didn't satisfy me in the Catholic religion would provide the same lack of answers in other religions, because basically all religions require huge amounts of faith and not a lot of reason.

I've thought that many times, what's the point of doing anything if none of it matters in the end? It may be very depressing thought. We all are looking for meaning to life. You may find it in living your life in a manner appropriate to achieve a place close to god in your afterlife, and I'd find meaning in life through the connections I make on earth and what my being is potential to change, being unable to count on reward when I die. I don't know if it's correct logic, maybe my answer should be to jump off the nearest cliff but the fact is that I do enjoy and celebrate life and am generally a happy person.

I don't think I'm more intelligent than thousands of years philosophy and deep-thinking, but the truth is that man has had the same problems that he had to deal with then that he has to deal with now, and I am not the only one that doesn't find religion the answer. The ancient greeks made up the gods to explain the phenomenons that they didn't know how to explain, in the middle ages the church used its power to manipulate the people into fear (either you're a member of our church or you go to hell, basically), but today with the presence of science I don't see why we need the presence of god in our society. He plays no role except for that of comfort, a creation story, a purpose in life, a destiny, and reward in the afterlife. I truly respect your opinion but religion is something I personally can't accept.