Because I am Incapable of Doing Things Without Adventure
Took my road test today! but it was not as simple as it should have been.
--Went to bed at 2. That would have been sufficient sleep except at 3:30/4:00 am I rediscovered that I have a highly irrational, crippling phobia of a certain owl call when it occurs in the dead of night and I am too groggy to rationalize. There was not one but two owls loosing their terrifying utterances into the inky black!! Right after I was having some weird feverdream/slightly nightmarish state that had me thinking my phone kept vibrating.
so I'm sitting there covering my ears, trying to get to sleep and just being pitiful in general. By the time I realized I've given up on the myth called sleep, my cousin knocks on my bedroom door.
"Annie...?"
".... muuh."
"It's seven o' clock. Thought you oughtta' know."
"Oh I know. BELIEVE ME, I know. I have known for hours this day would come."
In addition to hanus sleep deprivation my aunt and I ran into every. snag. in. the. system. School Zones! Paperwork! Go home and get more paperwork to prove I am Human(as opposed to toad or salamander)! THE DONUT SHOP GIVES US THE WRONG DONUTS!!!
At some point I got my leg tangled in my earphone wire as if it were an angry monster of the lovecraftian persuasion. It clutches at my leg as I step out of the car and somehow this ends with me flying out the door, rolling across the pavement and making some ungodly squawk that's less lovecraftian and more Fizzgig. Which really is just short of horrific.
My uncle comes to me and asks if I'm okay. Then says. "Good luck. You'll pass. There are worse drivers on the road than you."
clearly, this is the most inspiring peptalk of my life.
Now aside from the whole waiting thing I love the DMV, it makes me smile because I see so many interesting people. best lines I heard all day came from some latino boys mulling over their paperwork.
"... hey. What's 'maiden name' mean?"
"That's not for you, bro."
that loses a lot in text. whatever.
THEY CALL MY NUMBER! after like... what an hour and a half? And that means I GET TO STAND IN ANOTHER LINE. But this time I'm first in line. So whatever. The whole time every person in there is making me smile and I'm trying not to giggle because in my sleep deprived state I have realized that MY BRAIN CAN TIME TRAVEL, and thus, relive all the hilarious things I read in my owl-paralysis. And if I am pseudo-reliving those moments, they never lose their hilarity.
The phrase "best solved with hot cup of bees" held me in thrall this way for awhile. Yes, I am easily amused. Yes, I am trying not to burst out laughing in the DMV.
Once again, every possible snag in the system rear their ugly, hang-nail like heads and my vaguely cottonlike... I lost the metaphor. Blablabla I was getting snagged on everything, distracted by DMV guy's awesome salt-and-pepper hair, using the SUPER COOL THUMBPRINT MACHINE. Some guy has another guy WALK INTO his driver's license picture. Oops %)
SO I GET MY APPOINTMENT and there's some time so we go to get supplies for my halloween costume. Halloween stores+Sleep Deprived state bordering on minor mania=HAHAHAH WOW THAT WAS FUN I almost punched a floor-zombie in the face.
At last my time comes and I stuff myself full of pudding and steak out of stress, and all I can think as I wait for my driver test guy is like. What if I have to puke during this test %| if I pull over safely it shouldn't be a problem. but the protein kicked in and I was magically awake again.
But yeah parallel parking was way easy, everything was way easy, I passed on everything but my left turns, that was the only thing I got counted off on? I have no idea why maybe I was too slow. BUT I PASSED THE TEST WHILE AT MY WORST which must mean I'm an okay driver.
The final adventure involved like fifty smelly people in the last line but it was my last trial untillI received my temp license!! You know what that means?
FREEDOM.
then I came home curled in the fetal position and slept without fear of owls!
this is why I'm nocturnal. from sunrise to 1 am I was DOING THINGS. SO MANY THINGS. sdghdsfsd BUT I can now travel the roadways at my leisure.
if and when I get a car.
--Went to bed at 2. That would have been sufficient sleep except at 3:30/4:00 am I rediscovered that I have a highly irrational, crippling phobia of a certain owl call when it occurs in the dead of night and I am too groggy to rationalize. There was not one but two owls loosing their terrifying utterances into the inky black!! Right after I was having some weird feverdream/slightly nightmarish state that had me thinking my phone kept vibrating.
so I'm sitting there covering my ears, trying to get to sleep and just being pitiful in general. By the time I realized I've given up on the myth called sleep, my cousin knocks on my bedroom door.
"Annie...?"
".... muuh."
"It's seven o' clock. Thought you oughtta' know."
"Oh I know. BELIEVE ME, I know. I have known for hours this day would come."
In addition to hanus sleep deprivation my aunt and I ran into every. snag. in. the. system. School Zones! Paperwork! Go home and get more paperwork to prove I am Human(as opposed to toad or salamander)! THE DONUT SHOP GIVES US THE WRONG DONUTS!!!
At some point I got my leg tangled in my earphone wire as if it were an angry monster of the lovecraftian persuasion. It clutches at my leg as I step out of the car and somehow this ends with me flying out the door, rolling across the pavement and making some ungodly squawk that's less lovecraftian and more Fizzgig. Which really is just short of horrific.
My uncle comes to me and asks if I'm okay. Then says. "Good luck. You'll pass. There are worse drivers on the road than you."
clearly, this is the most inspiring peptalk of my life.
Now aside from the whole waiting thing I love the DMV, it makes me smile because I see so many interesting people. best lines I heard all day came from some latino boys mulling over their paperwork.
"... hey. What's 'maiden name' mean?"
"That's not for you, bro."
that loses a lot in text. whatever.
THEY CALL MY NUMBER! after like... what an hour and a half? And that means I GET TO STAND IN ANOTHER LINE. But this time I'm first in line. So whatever. The whole time every person in there is making me smile and I'm trying not to giggle because in my sleep deprived state I have realized that MY BRAIN CAN TIME TRAVEL, and thus, relive all the hilarious things I read in my owl-paralysis. And if I am pseudo-reliving those moments, they never lose their hilarity.
The phrase "best solved with hot cup of bees" held me in thrall this way for awhile. Yes, I am easily amused. Yes, I am trying not to burst out laughing in the DMV.
Once again, every possible snag in the system rear their ugly, hang-nail like heads and my vaguely cottonlike... I lost the metaphor. Blablabla I was getting snagged on everything, distracted by DMV guy's awesome salt-and-pepper hair, using the SUPER COOL THUMBPRINT MACHINE. Some guy has another guy WALK INTO his driver's license picture. Oops %)
SO I GET MY APPOINTMENT and there's some time so we go to get supplies for my halloween costume. Halloween stores+Sleep Deprived state bordering on minor mania=HAHAHAH WOW THAT WAS FUN I almost punched a floor-zombie in the face.
At last my time comes and I stuff myself full of pudding and steak out of stress, and all I can think as I wait for my driver test guy is like. What if I have to puke during this test %| if I pull over safely it shouldn't be a problem. but the protein kicked in and I was magically awake again.
But yeah parallel parking was way easy, everything was way easy, I passed on everything but my left turns, that was the only thing I got counted off on? I have no idea why maybe I was too slow. BUT I PASSED THE TEST WHILE AT MY WORST which must mean I'm an okay driver.
The final adventure involved like fifty smelly people in the last line but it was my last trial untillI received my temp license!! You know what that means?
FREEDOM.
then I came home curled in the fetal position and slept without fear of owls!
this is why I'm nocturnal. from sunrise to 1 am I was DOING THINGS. SO MANY THINGS. sdghdsfsd BUT I can now travel the roadways at my leisure.
if and when I get a car.