I thought I wanted to be home...

[abetterkiss]

But home is in Illinois.

I sat directly across the table from my twenty-something brother and couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. I stared at him and realized how little we really knew about each other for coming from the same blood line. I noticed his [new] shaggy hair turns a little more blonde in the summer- just like mine did before I started dying it. We both get our tan skin and green eyes from our mom, the only thing we have in common. 
We sat at that table and I listened to him and his wife tell my sister they want to bring the kids and move to Colorado, something all six of us know will never happen. He gave me a slight, one-shouldered hug before I left, said "Goodbye, Sara" and kissed my forehead for the first time since he had to leave when I was three. And that's the last time I'll see him for a long time.

"I'm scared."
"Me too."

Maybe you love her,
Maybe you need her.
Maybe you had her,
Maybe you lost her.

"I'm glad you leave in a week."
Wow. Thanks, Julie. Me too.

I'm not ready for this...