(no subject)
"I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home
Aahh, the sun is blinding
I stayed up again
Oohh, I am finding
That's not the way I want my story to end
I'm safe
Up high
Nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain
Inside
You're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?
I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
When I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?
Aahh, the night is calling
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
Aahh, I am falling
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame"
I've been in this 'rut' in seems, i feel so odd for caring about him again. The fact im giving him a second chance in a since is just going to end up hurting me..but i cant help the way i feel, and the way he kisses me..it reminds me of how it used to be..and i have all my friends yelling at me..telling me no..but when it feels right is that wrong? is it bad that way...ya know? Im just stuck in this dreamland full of non sober nights, and kissing and touching..and just frustrationg cause all i want is this to work..but i know it wont, it didnt before, and we havent grown up that much. And the fact that im taking the time to write about him again..shocks me also. Why am i playing this little game with him..either its going to crush him or me, and i just cant get away from it. Am i that addicted? or have i just lost all since of direction? am i that completely gone...or am i still that fucking needy? I hate this..and i need to just let it go, but i know i wont..i like it to much, and i fucking hate myself for this.
.....