needfulness
i had a phone call from the doctor's office yesterday, with news about all the bloodwork that it seems every physician insists upon doing at the first meeting with a new patient. nevermind my insistence that my cholesterol is below average, or that despite 20+ years of vegetarianism i've only ever suffered pregnancy-induced anemia (vindicated again this time!). the nurse rattled off everything i already knew, but then she said something stunning and wholly unexpected: i am, apparently, extremely Vitamin D deficient - something i've never even really heard of in an adult. how i got this way is perplexing, since even in winter i do not sequester myself in the house, run several days a week outdoors and take the wee ones to park usually every weekend. how i fix being this way - and i will have to fix it, as the consequences aren't so appealing - is pretty straightforward: intensive supplements with retesting in a few months, and a directive to get outside more.
now i find myself considering the metaphorical implications of this diagnosis. i've always known that I am happiest and feel most thoroughly alive when it is sunny and warm outside. my Self was most centered when i lived in Tucson, with its two seasons of Warm & Hot. people always tell me that I'd miss proper seasons, if i decided to settle in a place like that. and i tell them i most certainly would not. it's interesting to me now that my lifelong, intuitive desire for a place marked by endless summer has not been just an emotional one. more than just desire, it is also a real, physical need. my body craves the light for physiological sustenance just as much as my soul craves it for balance and inner happiness. and it's no longer a want, but a genuine need (a difference i wish i could make the three-year old realize...). it's a large realization, this. that my body simply cannot live without the light. well, it can. but it shouldn't. and so oddly comforting, somehow. a justification - as if i ever needed one - for being out in the world as often as possible.
now i find myself considering the metaphorical implications of this diagnosis. i've always known that I am happiest and feel most thoroughly alive when it is sunny and warm outside. my Self was most centered when i lived in Tucson, with its two seasons of Warm & Hot. people always tell me that I'd miss proper seasons, if i decided to settle in a place like that. and i tell them i most certainly would not. it's interesting to me now that my lifelong, intuitive desire for a place marked by endless summer has not been just an emotional one. more than just desire, it is also a real, physical need. my body craves the light for physiological sustenance just as much as my soul craves it for balance and inner happiness. and it's no longer a want, but a genuine need (a difference i wish i could make the three-year old realize...). it's a large realization, this. that my body simply cannot live without the light. well, it can. but it shouldn't. and so oddly comforting, somehow. a justification - as if i ever needed one - for being out in the world as often as possible.