Ruby Is Just Smarter Than Dean 2/3
Title: Ruby Is Just Smarter Than Dean, 2/3
Author: abbylover23
Rating: PG13 for Ruby's mouth and Dean's general behaviour.
Genre and/or Pairing: pre Dean/Castiel, Sam/Ruby.
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: Ruby's existence? But ya know, she's like my idea of what Ruby would have been like so maybe that'll help?
Word Count: 1,785
Summary: Ruby has spent hundreds of years watching people but she's never seen UST like Dean and Castiel's. It's hilarious, awesome to wind Dean up with and maybe, just a little bit, she thinks it'd be something that'd make them both happy if they'd ever get their act together. Maybe.
Part 1
Sam followed her out a few seconds later and she sighed and leant against his chest, "sorry."
He chuckled, "s'ok."
"I seriously don't like him."
"Sure you do," he ran a soothing hand up her back, "he's like vodka or something. You always say you'll never go back but..."
She scowled, "nope, he's more like absinthe; too much is just damn painful."
"You wind him up."
"Well that bit's fun!"
"I don't think he and Cas agree."
"Pfft, those two need the encouragement."
"What? Why?"
She laughed, leaning her head back on his chest, "oh honey, you're so cute when you slow."
"But-"
There was the sound of a door swinging open forcefully and then Dean came out of the roadside cafe with a face like thunder and Ruby opened one eye to watch him. He threw his coat into the boot of the car and then glowered at them both, “well?”
Sam looked at him confused, “Dean- where’s Cas?”
“He’s talking,” Dean said shortly. “You wanna get in the car Samantha? I guess you’re still here so get your ass in gear too Morticia.”
Ruby watched Dean through narrowed eyes; completely unfazed by the insult- she actually quite liked the Addams Family thank you very much. Her earlier mood had gone remarkably fast just leaning on Sam in the sun.
Stupid human that she was.
Besides it was much more interesting to watch Dean have a coronary than worry about her own issues. Every other second he was glancing behind him to the cafe and muttering under his breath. He got in the car and beeped the horn loudly, “let’s go!”
She slipped into the backseat next to Sam and then leant forward, ignoring her previous irritation with Dean in order to fill her curiosity, “what’s wrong with Cas talking to people again? I thought you were encouraging the whole social interaction thing.”
“I am,” Dean snapped, “he’s just takin’ his sweet time is all.” He beeped the horn again, “Cas!”
Ruby raised an eyebrow and then turned to see Castiel leaving the cafe with their waitress. She was pretty in human standards she supposed- she didn’t look like she could hold her own against thirty demons but she looked ok. Ruby really couldn’t see what the problem was. If, you know, you weren't Dean and completely unable to talk about your feelings and had just had your angel swiped from under your nose by her. The girl handed Cas a piece of paper and then smiled widely at him. Castiel looked at the paper in confusion as the girl disappeared.
Well. No mistaking what had gone on there.
“Nice!” Sam said from beside her, “Cas has got himself a date!”
And who would blame the girl for trying? These days, despite refusing to admit it to Sam, Ruby had something of a crush on Castiel. He’d let his hair grow a little bit, lost the ridiculous trench coat get up- although she could have sworn when she opened Dean’s duffle bag by mistake the other night she’d seen a flash of beige- and was instead was wearing a blue plaid shirt and jeans. He looked like he was a musician or an artist or something equally hot. Apparently however Dean was not impressed by Castiel's obvious charms.
Ha, like he hadn't fallen for them himself.
Dean scowled, “he does not have a date... She’s probably just giving him a copy of the bill.”
Sam snorted, “yeah, that’s what she’s doing.”
“Shut up Sam- he’s an angel, not us!”
“He’s allowed to date Dean.”
“No he’s not!”
“Why not?”
“Because! Because he’s not ok?”
Ruby chuckled, “Dean you’re so jealous!”
He snapped his head back to face her, “what?! Are you mad?! Of course you’re mad- you’re an ex demon and you don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m not jealous! Hell that chick was looking at me anyway.”
“No she wasn’t,” she retorted, “she didn’t look at you once.” She glanced out of the window to where Castiel was walking towards them, “she’s obviously got taste,” she muttered.
“I heard that and shut up Ruby; I don’t know why I even let you ride in my baby- I should make you get the damn bus.” There was a flush creeping up the back of Dean’s neck that had nothing to do with his anger and she smirked.
“You are so jealous.”
“Shut up,” he snarled back, “before I make you.”
“Dean!” Sam stepped in, “just take a breath man, Cas can’t even go on the date anyway- we’re not staying here.”
“I apologise,” Castiel said, suddenly appearing at the door. He clambered in and then looked over at Dean expectantly, “Jenna wished to speak to me a moment longer.”
“Yeah I’m sure she did,” Dean growled as he reversed in a squeal of tyres.
Castiel frowned, “do you have indigestion Dean?”
“What? No! Why do you ask?”
“Is there a fire?”
“No, Cas what the hell’s with twenty weirdo questions?”
“Well I was under the impression you wanted to leave rather quickly- I was just attempting to ascertain why.”
“Dean’s-” Ruby began to speak but Dean slammed on the brakes at the red light and she fell forward into the driver’s seat, “oof.”
“Careful there Ruby,” he said cheerfully, “wouldn’t want you to accidently fly into the windshield and make a mess across my dashboard now would we?”
She narrowed her eyes at him in the rear view mirror as she sat back, “maybe Sam should drive.”
“Rule number one; when I’m conscious and sober, no-one drives my baby but me.”
“The weird almost incestuous relationship you have your car is kind of concerning,” she retorted.
“You know what-”
“Dean,” Castiel cut in, “what is the problem?”
“Nothing, alright? I’m just peachy; you don’t need to worry about me Cas. You can just go off and have your date and get married and not have to think about me ever again m’kay?”
“Why are you speaking in such a derisive tone? I don’t understand,” Castiel’s brows furrowed together, “you were the one who told me I ought to experience all parts of human life- is this not what you meant?”
“No, you’re right Cas, you should experience all parts of human life with as many slutty waitresses as you can.”
“Jenna was nothing like that, she-”
“You know what? If you start tellin’ me how pure her soul was again I think I might barf. I really don’t wanna know so why don’t you just keep it to yourself ok?”
“Dean, if you had wanted her number for yourself why didn’t you just ask? I’m sure she would have obliged.”
“That isn’t my problem.”
“Then what is?”
“No I mean it Cas; I don’t have a problem with it. You go on your date and have a great time. I’m sure you’ll have plenty to talk about.”
“Sometimes you are insufferable Dean Winchester,” Castiel exclaimed suddenly before disappearing in a flutter of wings.
“Nah wait Cas I didn’t mean- ah dammit,” Dean muttered.
“Smooth,” Ruby whispered.
Dean twisted to give her such a murderous look she shrank back towards Sam.
“I’m just saying, you could have been a little more supportive,” she blurted out, feeling brave, “Cas is always looking to you for guidance in this kind of shit and you just completely shot him down. Even if you are jealous you should have just sucked it up and-”
“You know what Ruby? If you finish that sentence I’m gonna start talking in the most unfriendly Latin you ever heard, got it?”
“That won’t even hurt me anymore dipshit.”
“Well it might your ears burn or something if I’m lucky otherwise I’ll just stick my knife in you alright? You're human now so it'll sting like a bitch.”
She rolled her eyes, privately agreeing with Castiel that Dean was insufferable and then glanced at Sam who looked deep in thought.
“You got anything you wanna add back there princess or can I drive in peace without any more friggin’ angels telling me I’m useless?” Dean snapped at his brother.
“Cas would never call you useless Dean,” Sam said slowly before snapping out of whatever trance he was in, “how long have you been into him anyway?”
“Oh for crying out loud! I’m not into him.”
“Riiight, because you normally hate on hot waitresses all the time.”
“She wasn’t that hot!”
“That, that right there.”
“What? What where?”
Ruby pointed at him, “that ‘not hot’ bullshit, any girl with eyelashes and two legs normally gets your approval Dean.”
“So?”
“So the fact that you’re completely denying you thought that girl was hot means you’ve either gone blind or you’re jealous. If you vote for blind it means Sam gets to drive by the way.”
“It doesn’t matter either way really,” Sam mused, “because Cas is mad at you now.”
“Cas is not mad at me! Besides, he gets mad at me all the time.”
“Yeah when you throw yourself down holes to go kill eight foot tall trolls without us there to back you up or when you’re bickering and you call him a dork and he doesn’t know what it means- you know, normal couple stuff.”
“Oh because you’re the expert on normal couples Sam?”
“Normally he doesn’t fly off in a huff,” Sam continued, ignoring Dean’s last statement, “this is bad Dean.”
“Yep,” Ruby shook her head, “I think you hurt his feelings. Tut tut tuuut.”
“Christ that is it,” Dean pulled the car over, “I am not being lectured on my love life by an ex demon and my baby brother, both of you out now.”
“What?! Dean you can’t be-”
“I mean it Sam, out!”
“God you are so childish!”
“Actually Sam I believe the word is insufferable,” Ruby said, stuffing her hand in her mouth laughing.
Dean got out and advanced towards her but Sam stepped in the way, “Dean!”
“You two are walking back to the motel,” Dean said stroppily, “I’m goin’ for a drive.”
“Enjoy,” Ruby sang out, “I hear Denialville is two miles in the direction you’re heading.”
“I look forward to dancing on your grave Ruby,” he shot back before screeching back onto the road.
Sam looked like he was trying not to laugh as he raised an eyebrow at her, “you know you provoke him.”
She shrugged, feeling much better having had her revenge on Dean ruining her girly moment in the diner, “yep."
He grinned at her, shaking his head, “come on, let’s get going.” He grabbed her hand and they started walking.
Ruby tried not to feel too insanely happy over the feeling of his larger hand wrapped around her tiny one.
Part 3