(no subject)
I keep thinking back to my life in 2005 through now.
2005 is when I started my first journal and when I had my first camera cell phone.
I started writing in my journal in August again after a four month break (I finally filled the whole composition notebook) and today I was looking through the old pictures taken by my old cell phones. So that called my attention to how much experiences and memories I've made. All the people I've gained and lost.
It's been two years and nine months since my sophomore year in high school. (That's 3hree babies including recovery time.)
I'm currently dating a sophomore in high school.
yeah about that... seeing that out loud still makes me embarrassed. I know it sets off a lot of criticizing judgments in quite a few peoples minds. I should learn not to care. It would really improve my life. Maybe posting this will help me get over caring what people think.
I was hanging out with Alisha, Sierra, Arthur, and Margaret last night. I was driving us home from the beach when I began to think. All of my friends my age are going away for college and/or surround themselves with people their own age or older. I am surrounding myself with friends who are going to high school and are enjoying a drama club that I was "religiously" involved with when I was their age. However when we hang out I don't in any way feel like I'm reliving anything. It's not like I'm reenacting when I was 15-16 years old.
I think it's just weird to me and probably a lot of other people because it's different. I know I'm missing out on the whole freshman college experience because I'm going to Valencia just two days a week, still living at home, and still hanging out with high school friends. but you know what... I've also missed out (so far in life) on dating boys. I have never been intimate with someone of the opposite sex. I know what loving someone feels like but I know it's different with boy-girl dating because of the roles people learn as males and females; all the social taboos and different anatomy.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is... it's okay. I'm different. I'm not having the same experiences as other people. but it happens. I like the experiences I'm having. I'm happy. I like my girlfriend and I like my friends. I just like hanging out with them best... I mean I still hang out with Nay and Cruz of course. They have been constants in my life for quite some time now.
I'm just being nostalgic.
largely because I'm growing far far apart from Amberly Rogers. I thought she would always be there. I know that's obviously naive but I have always felt that way.
Whenever I talk to her I get really emotional. I hate it. Her tone is just so drastically different. We don't make an effort anymore. I don't think I want to. That could change.
2005 is when I started my first journal and when I had my first camera cell phone.
I started writing in my journal in August again after a four month break (I finally filled the whole composition notebook) and today I was looking through the old pictures taken by my old cell phones. So that called my attention to how much experiences and memories I've made. All the people I've gained and lost.
It's been two years and nine months since my sophomore year in high school. (That's 3hree babies including recovery time.)
I'm currently dating a sophomore in high school.
yeah about that... seeing that out loud still makes me embarrassed. I know it sets off a lot of criticizing judgments in quite a few peoples minds. I should learn not to care. It would really improve my life. Maybe posting this will help me get over caring what people think.
I was hanging out with Alisha, Sierra, Arthur, and Margaret last night. I was driving us home from the beach when I began to think. All of my friends my age are going away for college and/or surround themselves with people their own age or older. I am surrounding myself with friends who are going to high school and are enjoying a drama club that I was "religiously" involved with when I was their age. However when we hang out I don't in any way feel like I'm reliving anything. It's not like I'm reenacting when I was 15-16 years old.
I think it's just weird to me and probably a lot of other people because it's different. I know I'm missing out on the whole freshman college experience because I'm going to Valencia just two days a week, still living at home, and still hanging out with high school friends. but you know what... I've also missed out (so far in life) on dating boys. I have never been intimate with someone of the opposite sex. I know what loving someone feels like but I know it's different with boy-girl dating because of the roles people learn as males and females; all the social taboos and different anatomy.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is... it's okay. I'm different. I'm not having the same experiences as other people. but it happens. I like the experiences I'm having. I'm happy. I like my girlfriend and I like my friends. I just like hanging out with them best... I mean I still hang out with Nay and Cruz of course. They have been constants in my life for quite some time now.
I'm just being nostalgic.
largely because I'm growing far far apart from Amberly Rogers. I thought she would always be there. I know that's obviously naive but I have always felt that way.
Whenever I talk to her I get really emotional. I hate it. Her tone is just so drastically different. We don't make an effort anymore. I don't think I want to. That could change.