library
i hate the fucking library... every monday i have to either go to the library or to play tennis, i suck at tennis... and the library can suck my fat non-existant balls! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT! i still dont know when i am going to be going home or even to the appartments and it will be my one month here tomorrow... life is fucked... i dont know why i keep putting down "..." nothing else to do i guess... ok but now i am just starting to annoy myself. i feel the need to express myself but i have no way to do it. we went to color me mine last weekend, weekend before last actually, and i painted a box with a beautiful fairy on it. i think i fucked up the beautifulness but everyone else seems to thing its quiet awsome. shes got green legs and blue arms and face. here hair is a deep puruple and her dress is burgendy. shes got blue and green wings red lips and black eyes. the box is black on the outside except for the bottom which like the indise is red.... on the inside i wrote the words "love me" because see looks like she needs some love, kinda like me. i dont know yet what is going to go into it, razor blades and tears? i dont think so, not yet at least. i dont feelo like going back to the hospital yet, ever, never again.
i need some home life, not this stupid place. yeah its a house and yea its a family community but its not home, i want a home. i want to go home with David every time i see him. i cry when he laves, i sing before he comes. my mood changes constantly. i dont find pleasure in things i used to find pleasure in, everything makes me sad, everything makes me *want to* cut. i think that sounds like depression, how about you? yesw? okay then, where is my help... maybe it would come if only i could spill my soul. i need to tell them whats really going on, whats really going through my head, before its too late,again.
i need to see my friends
well i guess that can be my rant for the day...
i need some home life, not this stupid place. yeah its a house and yea its a family community but its not home, i want a home. i want to go home with David every time i see him. i cry when he laves, i sing before he comes. my mood changes constantly. i dont find pleasure in things i used to find pleasure in, everything makes me sad, everything makes me *want to* cut. i think that sounds like depression, how about you? yesw? okay then, where is my help... maybe it would come if only i could spill my soul. i need to tell them whats really going on, whats really going through my head, before its too late,again.
i need to see my friends
well i guess that can be my rant for the day...