SHARKBAIT 001 {video}
{This video is brought to you from behind Squalo's makeshift barricade at the top of the stairs on the top floor of the hospital. He's propped the cellphone up on said barricade so the video shows off his brand new clothing, as reminiscent of his Varia uniform as he could find, as well as a scavenged prosthetic arm in place of his ridiculous stub.
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I said barricade, not start a goddamn turf war, dumbshit. [ That's his job B( ]
And turn the damn elevators back on. I'm not taking the fucking stairs. [ NEVER SATISFIED, THIS ONE. ]
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You also told me to kill anyone who came up here, so I was giving them a final warning.
{A pause and that icon? Yeah, that's his face.} Voooiii... you're never fucking satisfied!! I'll move the shit when you want to use them. I can't fucking guard every entrance, shitty boss.
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[ UUUUGGH, COME HERE SO HE CAN PUNCH YOU AGAIN ] Which is why I said block up the extra staircases, shit-for-brains. Leave the elevator and one staircase. That's two places to guard. Can you handle that or should I go find a toddler with the same exact same mental capacity to help you out?
[ It's his way of saying he cares, bb :'| ]
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Vooooiii!!! You fucking said it too!! {Ugh, no reasoning with this damn man.} I did fucking block them, but you never know just what idiots are going to come blasting through. {You would know if you ever actually did field work and didn't just sit on your ass in that fucking throne all day :||
And so the video's gonna show him storming over to the elevators and kicking the shit out of the doorway of one, trying to aim the debris towards Xanxus's makeshift office.}
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[ Oh hell no. You are not launching shit at his new zen spot. ]
Quit your shit or I'll come rip the other arm off, gimp.
[ DON'T MAKE HIM COME OUT THERE. HE'S BUSY PUNCHING AN ASSASSIN WOMAN OUT A WINDOW OKAY ]
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{Yes. Yes he is. You want a working lift? Then get over it.
And oh man, he's gonna give you such a stare while he wonders why it was that he worshipped this man. Sometimes he forgets, what with all the abuse.} You want a fucking lackey to order around or not? {It doesn't have much feeling though.}
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[ Mmmm, and now the gimp jokes. They will never stop. ] Hn. Once your done calling the entire goddamn city's attention to us, get back in here. [ We need to figure this shit out and so far you're the only one of them he's found here. ]
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And a sneer to that last part. ] Because I'm your boss, trash, any other inane shit you want to waste my time bitching about?
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And because he's obviously five years old, he'll kick some more debris in the direction of the 'office' as he goes.}
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Voooiii... {Don't get pissed off, he'll throw shit at your head again, and it still hurts. Deep breaths. Deep, calming breaths.} What do you want?
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Sit, trash.
[ He swivels his chair to the side, leaning back to stair at the ceiling as he speaks ]
This shithole. People are saying it's some kind of wormhole. Different worlds getting pulled in and all that shit. [ That's not exactly new to them - the alternate dimensions. He's not too phased by it. What's more important is the getting out aspect ] There's trains but they don't stop and you walk to far and you get brought right back.
[ Covering facts. It's a sort of briefing. All he can really do for now. He looks back to him finally. ]
Watch the morgue. Anyone from Vongola comes in - and I mean anyone [ there's a growl in his tone that means he's a good bit of begrudging about that part ] - bring them here.
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Wormhole. Fucking great. {Brings that asshole Byakuran to mind, but if Xanxus hasn't mentioned him then that probably means he doesn't factor him into the problem. He has to wonder why, but he'll save the questions for later.}
Anyone? {He asks because he hears that grudging tone, not because he's questioning orders.}
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He picks up a scalpel he'd nicked from the morgue and started carving into the wood of the desk absently. ] We're the only ones here from any mafia family. If it's got anything to do with Millefiore, they're hiding it pretty damn well.
[ A pause at the last part and he turns his head to actually look at Squalo. ]
Anyone. [ And this glare here says don't question it, just do it. ]
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Relaxing again, he nodded, making a small 'tch' noise. He hadn't told Xanxus about how he was probably dead thanks to the Millefiore.} I'll gut the fucking lot of them if it is.
{A nod again. He doesn't look impressed by the order.} Yes sir. Anything else? {Your majesty.}
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