(no subject)
So I found out the other day that my dad got U2 tickets for tonight and that he's taking my brother. I was pretty upset because I didn't understand why he wouldn't even ask me if I was interested. So this morning I talked to him on the phone. I tried to explain to him why my feelings were hurt and what this concert would've meant to me, he retaliated with a few accusations of his own. He accused me of being selfish. He said that he felt like I didn't care about my family and only called when I wanted something. I tried to explain to him why this wasn't true and even cited examples of things that I have done for them. Like going out of my way to get my brother and his friend tickets to a sold out show here. But overall I had one underlying "excuse": I'm in college.
Which brings me to the point of this entry. During the entirety of this conversation I was welting up and even crying a little. When I said goodbye, I could barely hold it in. When I hung up the phone, I was balling. Now, i'm not one to cry easily, at all. I couldn't figure out what I was upset about. I knew it wasn't the tickets; my dad had even offered to try and set me up with a pair tonight, but I declined saying that it was too short of notice and that I was more upset over the principle. After I calmed down I realized exactly why I was so upset.
I'm exhausted. Sure i'm having the time of my life, but i am EXHAUSTED. My days are jam packed with classes, studies, and activities and I literally spend every ounce of my "free time" napping. Now granted, I understand that most of the people who will read this are gonna roll there eyes and say that everyone is busy and that I need to suck it up, but there's a point to this.
I'm upset about how i'm being perceived by my friends and family back home. Or at least how I think i'm being percieved. I'm the guy who went off to college and never looked back. I'm having the time of my life and couldn't care less about the people I left behind. Well, thats just great. You know what? I'm having an AMAZING time and i'm meeting AMAZING people and i'm doing what I love EVERY DAY, but I sat down on my bed and cried in my hands this morning because I MISS ALL OF YOU! I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss you all. I miss being able to see you everyday and share my life with you. Don't think that I never look back, because I do. Don't base my loyalties on how often I call you. There are too many people that I want to sit down and talk to for hours, but I don't even have minutes. And I'M SORRY. i'm sorry that I gave you all the impression that I didn't care anymore. I'll do my best to keep in touch with everyone and that's really all I can promise. But very few people have actually taken the time to call me either. This goes both ways. So i'll do my best to keep in touch with you all, but you can't expect me to do all of the work. I love you guys and I hope you're all doing very well for yourselves.
Which brings me to the point of this entry. During the entirety of this conversation I was welting up and even crying a little. When I said goodbye, I could barely hold it in. When I hung up the phone, I was balling. Now, i'm not one to cry easily, at all. I couldn't figure out what I was upset about. I knew it wasn't the tickets; my dad had even offered to try and set me up with a pair tonight, but I declined saying that it was too short of notice and that I was more upset over the principle. After I calmed down I realized exactly why I was so upset.
I'm exhausted. Sure i'm having the time of my life, but i am EXHAUSTED. My days are jam packed with classes, studies, and activities and I literally spend every ounce of my "free time" napping. Now granted, I understand that most of the people who will read this are gonna roll there eyes and say that everyone is busy and that I need to suck it up, but there's a point to this.
I'm upset about how i'm being perceived by my friends and family back home. Or at least how I think i'm being percieved. I'm the guy who went off to college and never looked back. I'm having the time of my life and couldn't care less about the people I left behind. Well, thats just great. You know what? I'm having an AMAZING time and i'm meeting AMAZING people and i'm doing what I love EVERY DAY, but I sat down on my bed and cried in my hands this morning because I MISS ALL OF YOU! I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss you all. I miss being able to see you everyday and share my life with you. Don't think that I never look back, because I do. Don't base my loyalties on how often I call you. There are too many people that I want to sit down and talk to for hours, but I don't even have minutes. And I'M SORRY. i'm sorry that I gave you all the impression that I didn't care anymore. I'll do my best to keep in touch with everyone and that's really all I can promise. But very few people have actually taken the time to call me either. This goes both ways. So i'll do my best to keep in touch with you all, but you can't expect me to do all of the work. I love you guys and I hope you're all doing very well for yourselves.