I don't know.
I've discovered why being a stay-at-home-mom is such a difficult job.
You see, we get very little in the way of a pat on the back. Sure, watching your child grow and prosper is amazing- THE most amazing thing I've ever experienced, in fact. But, at the end of day, it can be hard to remember the worth of the effort you've just put in. Because, unlike another sort of career, nobody hands you a little slip of paper that translates the dollars-and-cents value of motherhood.
No, I'm not really that materialistic. But, in a material world, I think stay-at-home-moms should be six-figure girls. Yet, I'm left feeling guilty every time I need to spend a few bucks on a new pair of underwear at Wal-Mart.
Ehh, I don't know. Maybe that is not even my problem. I remember the days, before Henry, when I wouldn't have even stepped foot into a Wal-Mart. Now, I blindly stroll the dizzying isles of 'a hundred things every American should have' and make small talk with the exploited checkout girl. I have feel like I have forgotten the worth of being a socially-conscience citizen, because all my energy has been devoted to Henry.
I love my child, I really do. And, I know that raising children well does pay off. But, I think I want to add something more to the resume of my life. I read this book once, called The Cathedral Within, by Bill Shore. In it, he writes about how the people who used to build the great cathedrals in Europe would spend their entire lives working on them, only to die before they'd ever see the cathedrals completed. Their children, and subsequent generations after that, would do the same. Yet, all of them were united in the belief that, one day, their work would have helped to produce something beautiful and magnificent.
Indeed, their work has produced masterpieces. I've been inside some of those cathedrals, and breath-taking does not begin to describe them. I guess being parents, we are sort of like those cathedral-builders. We might not get to witness every great thing our children will choose to do with their lives; but, we can know that every effort we take to nurture them, will one day benefit society.
I don't know what's up with me; but, I know I need to figure it out. Ever since I've had Henry, I've told myself that I do not want to go back into social work, because it would be too stressful to do that and take care of my own child. However, I can not handle mindless jobs and I'm beginning to feel as though social work really is what my mind was made for.
I need to do a lot of looking and listening for signs. I need God to tell me what to do. I'm considering taking a writing course at the local community college, but that is contingent upon whether or not they will accept me this late in the game. I took a few classes there a couple years ago, but I didn't really like it there. Hmm.. all I know is that I've got $7,000 left in scholarship money that I really should use.
You see, we get very little in the way of a pat on the back. Sure, watching your child grow and prosper is amazing- THE most amazing thing I've ever experienced, in fact. But, at the end of day, it can be hard to remember the worth of the effort you've just put in. Because, unlike another sort of career, nobody hands you a little slip of paper that translates the dollars-and-cents value of motherhood.
No, I'm not really that materialistic. But, in a material world, I think stay-at-home-moms should be six-figure girls. Yet, I'm left feeling guilty every time I need to spend a few bucks on a new pair of underwear at Wal-Mart.
Ehh, I don't know. Maybe that is not even my problem. I remember the days, before Henry, when I wouldn't have even stepped foot into a Wal-Mart. Now, I blindly stroll the dizzying isles of 'a hundred things every American should have' and make small talk with the exploited checkout girl. I have feel like I have forgotten the worth of being a socially-conscience citizen, because all my energy has been devoted to Henry.
I love my child, I really do. And, I know that raising children well does pay off. But, I think I want to add something more to the resume of my life. I read this book once, called The Cathedral Within, by Bill Shore. In it, he writes about how the people who used to build the great cathedrals in Europe would spend their entire lives working on them, only to die before they'd ever see the cathedrals completed. Their children, and subsequent generations after that, would do the same. Yet, all of them were united in the belief that, one day, their work would have helped to produce something beautiful and magnificent.
Indeed, their work has produced masterpieces. I've been inside some of those cathedrals, and breath-taking does not begin to describe them. I guess being parents, we are sort of like those cathedral-builders. We might not get to witness every great thing our children will choose to do with their lives; but, we can know that every effort we take to nurture them, will one day benefit society.
I don't know what's up with me; but, I know I need to figure it out. Ever since I've had Henry, I've told myself that I do not want to go back into social work, because it would be too stressful to do that and take care of my own child. However, I can not handle mindless jobs and I'm beginning to feel as though social work really is what my mind was made for.
I need to do a lot of looking and listening for signs. I need God to tell me what to do. I'm considering taking a writing course at the local community college, but that is contingent upon whether or not they will accept me this late in the game. I took a few classes there a couple years ago, but I didn't really like it there. Hmm.. all I know is that I've got $7,000 left in scholarship money that I really should use.