(no subject)
and so its been awhile since i put myself out there in live journal. boo here i go again. im so connnffffuuuuusssseeeeeddddd. o i hate not knowing. its worse than getting bad news. ergh well school is all crazy. im a slacker. except i wont admit it to anyone. suck. im gonna pass but this semester is just a waste. ugh. im sooo broke. cuz i have some addiction with spending money. not even only that but i give my money away. no seriously i give money to people all the time. like charities and stuff. omg i swear i love to be broke. NOT. it never hits me till the week before payday when i struggle. and boy situation. fuck. i was so happily crazily in love with james. guess what i got his adress a month ago. i havent wrote him one letter. not one. and i lost the ones he wrote me, he calls me sometimes when he can sneak it. and i cry everytime i listen to the messages. fuck...and im semi dating some other kid. ive been head over heals for him since i was 12. hah i cant even tell if he likes me. hes 25. part of the family almost. but theres something missing. im almost afraid of my emotions anymore.the only good thing i did was let go of nick. i told him. it was good for my soul.forever gone. i feel a thousand years old. and i like to cry like a baby. i just need someone to open up too. someone to reach out their arms. ill be gone from here soon. just watch me leave.