(no subject)
XVI - what is it with me and beauty? i mean seriously? you all know im obsessed with attraction and everything that goes along with it. you know im obsessed with beauty. but i wonder what it is that makes it have such a big place in my life. why do i love to see and hear the affect that beauty has on people? why do strive for more and more knowledge about the affects of beauty? why attraction?
beauty has and always will play a big role in my life. most people assume that because im obsessed with attraction, that translates into me never being happy with one girl - thats really not it at all. im all or nothing, and when i say im going to have a girl, i have her and nobody else. i may see a pretty girl walk by, but my thoughts go from "wow i need to hit that up", to "wow shes pretty" and in my head im thinking shes pretty but i have no desire what so ever to pursue it because i already have somebody im perfectly happy with. but thats jump ahead of myself right there,i mean geez me a GF or even better married....but back to beauty. it's absolutely crazy how much it can change something. i mean what is it about a pretty smile, or big brown eyes that can take my mood from pissed off to happy. why is it that a all i have to do is see a girl whom i think is cute and all or the sudden my mood is better? its amazing how you have somebody whom you think is pretty, and then you get to know them and to your suprise they become even prettier. and then after awhile you almost forget just how pretty they are, and then in a single moment, one that is completely unexpected....you see them and you smile. because you remember how pretty they are. and then all of the sudden your mood goes to cloud 9. for me right now i coudl be having a horrible day, and then i go out to eat and we have a really pretty waitress and she smiles at me, and all of the sudden i dont care anymore. it's just really odd how happy seeing somebody pretty can make me. i have to say tho, when you see somebody attractive, and then you see just a piece of their personality, and thats perfect....it makes it all the better. even on a movie. i see a movie and theres a pretty girl throughout the movie....and everytime she comes on the screen i just get a lil happier - no its not sexual, theres just something about a pretty girl. how does this affect my life? i dont know, to this point it hasnt. aside from developing a certain nickname in college, it has done nothing buy brighten days for me. so it makes me wonder...when i do find the one random, off the wall, crazy, easy going girl who i will marry, and i believe there is only one for me, simply because it will take a really special girl to marry me, anyway tho when i find her - and ill obviously think shes gorgeous - will every day be like that for me? will all my problems seem as though they are stupid and ill forget them when i see her and she smiles from just one side of her mouth? or will the astros losing a WS game seem like nothing when i look and see her wavy hair brushed to just one side of her face? of course i will have this affect on her, considering how attractive i am myself......but what will the future hold for me and my beauty obsession? maybe theres a reason God made beauty and attraction such a big part of my life, i just havent found that reason yet. i know why i made a lot of bad decisions, i know why im cocky, i know why i am the way i am with pretty much everything, or atleast i feel like ive made it useful. but with this? i have no clue what its for, why im like this, and what it will do in the future. as always i will just have a non-stop urge to see pretty girls, and not really think anything beyond that. because for me to sit there and waste time wondering why i am the way i am, that would mean i could missing seeing some cute girl walking by.
a finishing thought here. if i was collectively thought to be hideous looking, would i care at all abotu beauty? would it mean anything to me, and would a pretty girl still make me smile? maybe my personal experiences with the way i look and the way people have reacted have shaped my obsession...just a thought
peace out hommies
beauty has and always will play a big role in my life. most people assume that because im obsessed with attraction, that translates into me never being happy with one girl - thats really not it at all. im all or nothing, and when i say im going to have a girl, i have her and nobody else. i may see a pretty girl walk by, but my thoughts go from "wow i need to hit that up", to "wow shes pretty" and in my head im thinking shes pretty but i have no desire what so ever to pursue it because i already have somebody im perfectly happy with. but thats jump ahead of myself right there,i mean geez me a GF or even better married....but back to beauty. it's absolutely crazy how much it can change something. i mean what is it about a pretty smile, or big brown eyes that can take my mood from pissed off to happy. why is it that a all i have to do is see a girl whom i think is cute and all or the sudden my mood is better? its amazing how you have somebody whom you think is pretty, and then you get to know them and to your suprise they become even prettier. and then after awhile you almost forget just how pretty they are, and then in a single moment, one that is completely unexpected....you see them and you smile. because you remember how pretty they are. and then all of the sudden your mood goes to cloud 9. for me right now i coudl be having a horrible day, and then i go out to eat and we have a really pretty waitress and she smiles at me, and all of the sudden i dont care anymore. it's just really odd how happy seeing somebody pretty can make me. i have to say tho, when you see somebody attractive, and then you see just a piece of their personality, and thats perfect....it makes it all the better. even on a movie. i see a movie and theres a pretty girl throughout the movie....and everytime she comes on the screen i just get a lil happier - no its not sexual, theres just something about a pretty girl. how does this affect my life? i dont know, to this point it hasnt. aside from developing a certain nickname in college, it has done nothing buy brighten days for me. so it makes me wonder...when i do find the one random, off the wall, crazy, easy going girl who i will marry, and i believe there is only one for me, simply because it will take a really special girl to marry me, anyway tho when i find her - and ill obviously think shes gorgeous - will every day be like that for me? will all my problems seem as though they are stupid and ill forget them when i see her and she smiles from just one side of her mouth? or will the astros losing a WS game seem like nothing when i look and see her wavy hair brushed to just one side of her face? of course i will have this affect on her, considering how attractive i am myself......but what will the future hold for me and my beauty obsession? maybe theres a reason God made beauty and attraction such a big part of my life, i just havent found that reason yet. i know why i made a lot of bad decisions, i know why im cocky, i know why i am the way i am with pretty much everything, or atleast i feel like ive made it useful. but with this? i have no clue what its for, why im like this, and what it will do in the future. as always i will just have a non-stop urge to see pretty girls, and not really think anything beyond that. because for me to sit there and waste time wondering why i am the way i am, that would mean i could missing seeing some cute girl walking by.
a finishing thought here. if i was collectively thought to be hideous looking, would i care at all abotu beauty? would it mean anything to me, and would a pretty girl still make me smile? maybe my personal experiences with the way i look and the way people have reacted have shaped my obsession...just a thought
peace out hommies