It ain't easy bein' green
It's happening again. I'm constantly feeling depressed, down, and all other sorts of bad lately. I take my work home, I take home to work, and to top it all off I'm becoming a gambler. I don't enjoy my job anymore, now that it's become a job. I've been looking downward, looking for something that might pay decently but nowhere near what I'm making now, just to get the hell out of this place. I say that, and I also want to move out - which may or may not solve some of my problems straight out.
I've been getting awfully close to a mental breakdown. I remember the feelings well - constantly wanting to cry over the tiniest thing, getting aggravated easily, not being able to concentrate enough to finish anything the first time I try to get at it, manic-style mood swings. If I were a psychiatrist I'd have committed myself by now, but I've learned over the course of the last 8 years or so to control my emotions and feelings somewhat. Now I only appear crazy, not completely mentally defeated.
I'm at the point where I want to go to sleep for a few years and see where I end up. It gets more and more difficult to wake up everyday, and the last time I felt like this.....most of you know what happened. South Oaks was very helpful, but it was no vacation. I need peace, mental and otherwise. There's just too much in my head right now. I need to get myself straightened out, before I snap and I hurt someone.
I've been getting awfully close to a mental breakdown. I remember the feelings well - constantly wanting to cry over the tiniest thing, getting aggravated easily, not being able to concentrate enough to finish anything the first time I try to get at it, manic-style mood swings. If I were a psychiatrist I'd have committed myself by now, but I've learned over the course of the last 8 years or so to control my emotions and feelings somewhat. Now I only appear crazy, not completely mentally defeated.
I'm at the point where I want to go to sleep for a few years and see where I end up. It gets more and more difficult to wake up everyday, and the last time I felt like this.....most of you know what happened. South Oaks was very helpful, but it was no vacation. I need peace, mental and otherwise. There's just too much in my head right now. I need to get myself straightened out, before I snap and I hurt someone.