Random Things #1

[aalvarez]

I'm bored. Unmotivated. I keep telling myself that I should go to the gym, but I don't want to risk the ticket, or wait till after seven. I could run, running doesn't require a trip to the gym, but it's cold so I talk myself out of it. I think some of the bad habits of my room mate is rubbing off on me. Or I just don't know how to manage my time. In either case I need to fix this. I'm much of the many things I hate right now, I miss the comraderie of my friends, I miss going out, I miss having plans for the weekends, real plans not "quiet night in plans", I miss looking forward to the weekend, everyday seems the same. Even before I lost my job. When I ask my friends what they're doing, check their Twitter, listen to their stories, hear their gossip, it's the same things, the exciting things were things from the past. Nothing new. Why is this? I blame the economy. Everybody needs money, nobody has any. I also blame responsibilites. We have to many and few of us know how to manage them. I mean really manage them. We're also growing up, but I don't see many of us growing as people. What has changed now from when we were younger? We're wiser, and we have more responsibilities. Is that good change? Maybe being wise, but it's also how we use it. If i'm wiser because I lent a friend $5,000 and didn't get my money back, how is that good change, if all it does is leave me in debt and to an aversion to lending people money. In the grand scale of change where does that figure? "I'm 26 years old, and the change I've learned this year is to not lend money to assholes." No, this didn't really happen, but my point is... I'm starting to contradict myself. Sorry. Everyone seems to be stuck in routine, myself included, I hate hearing how miserable everyone is, people talking about how they like (Blank) because (blank) makes them feel (blank) I wonder how unhappy they are. Not everything you do has to just consume your time and amuse temporarily because all you've been able to manage to do with your time is work, eat, sleep, repeat, and feel, that somehow in this unmanageable schedule you believe you have. All you can do is find just the smallest fragments of time to play some video games, go out some where (nice) to eat, or get some extra hours of sleep. We fool ourselves into thinking that what we're doing is honestly worth our time when in actuality it really isn't.

Then again I do many of these same things, and I'm fooling myself as well.