[Memories] "Retarded," or: The Aunt Vy Stories
My mother had several uncles and an aunt on her father's side. The interesting thing: my grandfather had to do a huge series of adjustments, having been born in Russia. His very Russian name made him stick out like a sore thumb, he had to learn English, and there were a series of other adjustments he needed to make growing up on the other side of the world from his home country a struggle. His siblings, on the other hand, had all gotten popular American names as they were all born here, and had the advantage that they didn't need to do any adjustment to a new land. Yet, all of Grandpa's siblings seemed to develop an extraordinary amount of antisocialism, whereas my grandfather was very outgoing, even to his last days as Parkinsons made him lose control of his own body.
His sister, Vy, was initially rather outgoing too. She was very open about her romances -- some with very well-known politicians at the time -- and her connections had garnered a decent amount of fortune, resulting in her soon having her own jewelry store. My uncle recently told me of Vy taking him and my mother to various high-class affairs, penthouse apartments, and the like. So what happened? By the time I met Vy, she was anti-social, rude, and hurtful.
I remember being seven years old and unable to tie my shoes. I could do a lot -- I was programming in BASIC since 5, was trying to pick up FORTRAN, was already a linguist wanna-be ... but I couldn't tie my shoes. Hey, all my attribute points went elsewhere. :: laugh :: Vy looked at my mother with disgust. "What do you mean your son can't tie his shoes?"
"It's just not something he picked up yet," she responded.
"So, what, is your son retarded or something?"
That's right, my own flesh and blood thought I was developmentally DISABLED. And let me tell you, it stung -- and every other occasion we would have with Vy (and there were very few, as her dislike of us was never something she hid!) was full of unwarranted stabs at my mother and the rest of my family. I remember her telling my sister that she was amazed, once she got to high school, that she hadn't gotten pregnant yet. Seriously, things like this were coming out of her mouth ALL THE TIME. We made an effort to avoid her like the plague, for obvious reasons.
So in middle school, Vy had passed away. We hadn't seen or heard from her, and apparently she had become a shut-in so no one seen her, either. Her death was sudden ... and unnoticed. Her body had sat in her house, rotting, for two weeks, as she had intentionally sabotaged any kind of relationship she had with friends, family, and anyone else. Worse: she had cats, who eventually started to feed on their deceased master.
I recall two things about the funeral:
1.) The scent was just terrible. There was really nothing that could be done, but the scent will never be something I forget.
2.) I remember feeling terrible -- because I didn't feel worse. Despite the horrible death, I was indifferent, and this antipathy towards the death of a blood relative made me feel like an awful human being, and while it's understandable why I felt the way I felt ... but the amount of guilt I felt was amazing.
Now that I'm older, I don't have quite the grudge I used to towards her ... I'm more curious as to what happened to her. It's a shame that I didn't get to know her when she had a love for people and life in general, as I feel I might have had more empathy towards her and the truly sad lonely way she left this world. And why has EVERY sibling in this family ended this way?? There are so many questions, and it's unlikely I'll get answers since so many key players are now also deceased.
His sister, Vy, was initially rather outgoing too. She was very open about her romances -- some with very well-known politicians at the time -- and her connections had garnered a decent amount of fortune, resulting in her soon having her own jewelry store. My uncle recently told me of Vy taking him and my mother to various high-class affairs, penthouse apartments, and the like. So what happened? By the time I met Vy, she was anti-social, rude, and hurtful.
I remember being seven years old and unable to tie my shoes. I could do a lot -- I was programming in BASIC since 5, was trying to pick up FORTRAN, was already a linguist wanna-be ... but I couldn't tie my shoes. Hey, all my attribute points went elsewhere. :: laugh :: Vy looked at my mother with disgust. "What do you mean your son can't tie his shoes?"
"It's just not something he picked up yet," she responded.
"So, what, is your son retarded or something?"
That's right, my own flesh and blood thought I was developmentally DISABLED. And let me tell you, it stung -- and every other occasion we would have with Vy (and there were very few, as her dislike of us was never something she hid!) was full of unwarranted stabs at my mother and the rest of my family. I remember her telling my sister that she was amazed, once she got to high school, that she hadn't gotten pregnant yet. Seriously, things like this were coming out of her mouth ALL THE TIME. We made an effort to avoid her like the plague, for obvious reasons.
So in middle school, Vy had passed away. We hadn't seen or heard from her, and apparently she had become a shut-in so no one seen her, either. Her death was sudden ... and unnoticed. Her body had sat in her house, rotting, for two weeks, as she had intentionally sabotaged any kind of relationship she had with friends, family, and anyone else. Worse: she had cats, who eventually started to feed on their deceased master.
I recall two things about the funeral:
1.) The scent was just terrible. There was really nothing that could be done, but the scent will never be something I forget.
2.) I remember feeling terrible -- because I didn't feel worse. Despite the horrible death, I was indifferent, and this antipathy towards the death of a blood relative made me feel like an awful human being, and while it's understandable why I felt the way I felt ... but the amount of guilt I felt was amazing.
Now that I'm older, I don't have quite the grudge I used to towards her ... I'm more curious as to what happened to her. It's a shame that I didn't get to know her when she had a love for people and life in general, as I feel I might have had more empathy towards her and the truly sad lonely way she left this world. And why has EVERY sibling in this family ended this way?? There are so many questions, and it's unlikely I'll get answers since so many key players are now also deceased.