pinch me
Another pretty damn fun weekend...mostly because I just enjoy bein around muh baby so much. I just feel sooo damn happy around him, whenever I can touch him, when I can kiss him, sleep next to him, hold him. It's weird though...because it makes me nervous too. I keep having this..."what if something happens" feeling. Or that the happiness I feel from being together with him is just lulling me into this false sense of security when really, I have no money, I am behind in school, I don't really feel like I have control over my life for some reason and that it's getting away from me. Or, that it isn't, but that some amalgamation of problems could sneak up on me at any moment and cause my universe to implode.
I really, really like this guy, and I want to see what it's like to live existing like this for a few months. Dating him makes me feel so much happier...like he plain and simple makes my life better. Is that how it works...? Are you not happy unless you're in love, unless you have someone you can kiss who will tell you they love you? If so...that's fucked up. I don't like the idea of my emotions depending so heavily on anyone else. Nonetheless, that's pretty much the past eight months have gone. Love is such a drug...whoever came up with that comparison was a genius. And probably tried mescaline.
I mean, I basically want to be with him all the time. Dropping out and just living with him somewhere so I could spend my nights with him sounds pretty amazing right about now. Smokin, watchin movies, hangin out with people, partyin on weekends, raves, walks, food, mixed drinks, warm beds. Some combination of friend, roommate, boyfriend. I can talk on the phone with him for suuuch a long time, and I am not good at that with anyone. I think our interests are similar enough that hangin out with eachother is pretty fun no matter what we're doing, planned or not. I love it that he likes to smoke so often, it's pretty sweet having a friend who does; not to mention a boyfriend who loves substances just like me. I complain about this a lot, and really it's not a huge deal for me...but it's just one of many ways I seem to mesh with him sooo well and find things in him I don't get enough of from other people in my life. I miss his lips, his waist, his arms, his skin, the way he smells, his ass when he wears sweat pants...eh, or more like when he wears anything (or nothing) lol. Right now all I want to do is go lie in my bed with him all nestled up in my arms and fall asleep. Graaaaaaaaah.
I really, really like this guy, and I want to see what it's like to live existing like this for a few months. Dating him makes me feel so much happier...like he plain and simple makes my life better. Is that how it works...? Are you not happy unless you're in love, unless you have someone you can kiss who will tell you they love you? If so...that's fucked up. I don't like the idea of my emotions depending so heavily on anyone else. Nonetheless, that's pretty much the past eight months have gone. Love is such a drug...whoever came up with that comparison was a genius. And probably tried mescaline.
I mean, I basically want to be with him all the time. Dropping out and just living with him somewhere so I could spend my nights with him sounds pretty amazing right about now. Smokin, watchin movies, hangin out with people, partyin on weekends, raves, walks, food, mixed drinks, warm beds. Some combination of friend, roommate, boyfriend. I can talk on the phone with him for suuuch a long time, and I am not good at that with anyone. I think our interests are similar enough that hangin out with eachother is pretty fun no matter what we're doing, planned or not. I love it that he likes to smoke so often, it's pretty sweet having a friend who does; not to mention a boyfriend who loves substances just like me. I complain about this a lot, and really it's not a huge deal for me...but it's just one of many ways I seem to mesh with him sooo well and find things in him I don't get enough of from other people in my life. I miss his lips, his waist, his arms, his skin, the way he smells, his ass when he wears sweat pants...eh, or more like when he wears anything (or nothing) lol. Right now all I want to do is go lie in my bed with him all nestled up in my arms and fall asleep. Graaaaaaaaah.