angel 3x21-22

[a_white_rain]

Long Reactions Are Long


3x21 Benediction

• JUNK FOOD/CONNOR OTP.
• Watch me take obsessive notes over Connor for the time being. I'm going to fuck over his history in an AU and I have to have a handle on his character do do that right. SO LET US BEGIN.
  Connor: "I don't like this place. So many people. It's not like home."
  Holtz: "Quor-toth was never our home, son. It was our prison. I should have known that one day *you'd* find a way out."
  He thinks a hell dimension is home, despite the fact his father tells him differently. Possibly has before. He's probably a very here and now person and would agree with Angel's nothing matters but what we do now.
• Connor: "You shouldn't have followed me here."
  Holtz sits down on a chair: "How could I not?"
  Connor crouches down in front of him, putting a hand on Holtz' knee.
  Connor: "I would have come back to you, after I killed him. (Straightens up and turns away) I'm sorry I couldn't."
  He doesn't have overt reaction to Holtz's affection, but he holds affection and loyalty to Holtz and desires to protect him.
• Holtz: "Of course you couldn't. It's not in you, son."
  Connor: "I've killed lots!"
  This goes a bit with my view of Connor as someone who is naturally compassionate ("You're alone"), but also someone who will do crazy things/kill people for hurting people he has compassion for/to survive.
• Connor wants to know his birth father, despite the fact he hates him. Not every adopted child wants that, this says things about him. I'm not exactly sure WHAT yet though.
• Connor: "God gave me to you."
  Holtz: "Yes. God delivered me to you, that I'd keep you safe and lavish upon you all the love that I could never give my first children."
  Connor: "Because he took them from you."
  Holtz: "That's right."
  Connor: "I wish I *had* killed him."
  Right now, I'm getting the impression Holtz did love and care for him. I don't think Hotlz had to influence Connor too much wrt killing the guy who destroyed everything his father loved before him. Also: this kind of stuff isn't what children should ever hear from their parents at such a young age, so he's been shaped and scarred by that.
• Holtz: "If you had, then you wouldn't be the boy I raised, or the man I know you'll be one day. There's more for you to learn, Steven, much more."
  Connor: "And I want to."
  Mindfuck is there, but I also think that Holtz does love Connor, albeit in his own twisted manner. Also Connor isn't someone who'd stand by, nor is he one who seems inclined not to work for what he wants/what he believes is right.
• Holtz: "Walk in his world, learn all you can. (Puts a hand on Connor's shoulder) Discover what of him is in you that you might fight against it. (Puts a hand under Connor's chin and makes him look up) But be on your guard. Remember what I've taught you. The devil will show you bright things, many colors."
  Part of this IS Hotlz influence - he puts him in a place that's difficult to be. A place where he has to walk in a fire and not get burned.
• mature!Angel is weird.
• "What if he doesn't come back." Oh Angel. :(
• Oh Boytoy. :( You do love Cordy so much, but she's suffering the bad writing of Cordy/Angel Champion OTP.
• Angel: "He feels further away from me now than when he was first taken. All that time I don't think I ever really believed that I'd lost him - not really. Then he shows up again and I knew I had." Poor Angel. :(
• Angel: "Yeah. Everything's temporary. There's just so much I thought we'd be able to do together before he, you know..."
  Cordy: "Grew up?"
  Angel: "Hated me."
  Oh this show wants me to like Angel outside of his relationships. KEEP IT UP.
• Cordy: "Because - he has to. Because he's family." And then cut to Wesley. Very good move.
• "Angel's son! Hi." laksd oh Fred. <3
• Conner seems to be still in emotionally trying moments, unless he's angry.
• Folding arms thing is genetic!
• Angel: "It could be kind of dangerous. There's a lot of killing and violence. You wanna come?" Angel probably isn't going to win parent of the year here.
• Lilah: "Like, will he go straight to his car, or will he stop to warn her first?" alfkdsad that entire scene was hot. I don't often get the ladies mindfucking the dudes outside of my head. \o/
• That way you don't have to torture yourself as to whether or not you did the right thing." BUT HE'S PRETTY AND MOLESTABLE WHEN HE'S TORTURING HIMSELF.
• Connor: "So why do you do it?"
  Angel: "Do what?"
  Connor: "Why kill them if they're like you?"
  Inquisitive nature.
• Angel: "They're not like me, Connor."
  Connor: "I'm not Connor."
  His name is important to him. Goes along with what he sees as his real home.
• Moving just like his father. I wonder if Holtz trained him like that or if it's vampire genetic.
• Connor is smiling at Angel. IT IS CUTE.
• I don't know why I find it so damn adorable that Conner loves junk food. I just do.
• Connor: "Father. - He was everything that you said. He tried to trick me. Thought that he could deceive me by saving people. It didn't work. I've seen his true face."
  Holtz: "And I've seen yours."
  Hm not exactly sure what to make of that just yet. But it's interesting.
• Cordy is losing her edge to saintness. It's bugging me. She should be mocking Angel's dorkiness some.
• Holtz: "It is true, son."
  Connor: "You're wrong!"
  Holtz: "I'm not wrong. Anyone who saw you together would realize - that's where you're meant to be - at his side."
  Connor: "No!"
  Holtz: "It was your need for him that drove you across the dimension."
  Connor: "I don't need him!"
  Holtz: "Go back to him, Steven."
  Connor: "Why are you doing this? Why? God gave me to you."
  I think this is partially the truth; partially mindfuck.
• Connor pulls his hands out from under Holtz'.
  Connor: "You told me not to be deceived. But you've let yourself be deceived."
  Kid is stubborn.
• I see potential for Connor to be as good as Angel(us) is at hurting people. Though he's more like Angel, in that it's more about lashing out. Though Angel's lashing out tends to be related to his self-loathing, while Connor's stems from what he sees as betrayal and his own confused feelings towards Angel. Although there is self-loathing there because he does seem to connect with Angel in a way he never wanted to.
• Why can't saint!Cordy go away?
• Is Cordy some sort of angel?
• WHAT WAS CORDY'S GLOWY THING STOPPING CONNOR FROM STABBING HER? NO WRONG QUESTION. WHY WAS CORDY'S GLOWY THING STOPPING CONNOR FROM STABBING HER?
• I have no idea if Connor is crying as something genuine about his characterization or if it's Cordy's glowy powers. I'm inclined to think he's as horrified as I am by Cordy's glowy powers and did what I wanted to do: sob.
• Cordy: "I know what it was like for him there, the darkness and the confusion. He thought it was where he belonged." I like this. I mean I don't like Cordy saying this, but I like that this is canon.
• Connor: "I might have tried to kill your friend." Like that line. Honest and possibly aiming to hurt.
• Don't have too much to say on Conner&Angel's home talk, beyond the fact that I think I'm reading him right. Or at least my interpretation isn't TOO crazy.
• THAT IS NOT HOW ANGEL&CORDY BUDDYCOP GOES. TAKE THIS CORDY AWAY. GIVE ME BACK MINE.
• Angel has a lack of respect as Connor as a person. That's going to so well. I mean sixteen-year-olds (damaged ones especially) like being treated like that amirite.
• Connor sees the ocean and thinks 'empty.'
• Fred and Connor connecting over being in another world >>> Cordy and Connor's creepything.
• That was an AWESOME plot device to show that Connor has vampire hearing.
• Okay I'm feeling for Holtz.
• Holtz stands up: "I'm an old man now. I have nothing to offer the boy. You can give him what I can't - his purpose. But every time you look upon his face - every time he calls you 'father' - you will be reminded of that which you took and can never give back. - And if that is vengeance, I find I have no taste for it." If he's being sincere then I think I might finally like him.
• Okay I liked how Hotlz died. And how Connor found out. Well played.

3x22 Tomorrow

• Cordy/boytoy reminds me of Buffy/Riley. Only better written and where I feel for both characters.
• Oh poor Connor. Though the show keeps cementing my love. He's cradling his father's dead body.
• "It's my fault." asfkdasl *dies*
• For all that Angel is kinda messing up, I do think is desire to have Connor is adorable.
• DON'T GO LORNE!
• Connor: "Eng-land? Maybe it's like the ranch."
  Justine: "The ranch?"
  Connor: "Where I was supposed to grow up - in Utah."
  Wishful. I like.
• Connor: "No. He was bitten by the beast. He may rise again." Am digging the trauma.
• Ahaha did Hotlz plan this? I figured as much. NO LONGER LIKE.
• Lilah: "Mind if I join you?"
  Wes: "On many levels and with great intensity."
  I like!
• Lilah: "And one born to two vampires carries it in spades. Now, my people will be rooting - for slaughter. And your people... sorry - your *former* people, they won't know what to do if things turn sour." So when are they going to have sex?
• Wes grabs her by the throat: "You terribly anxious to find out?" alsdkfjs *dies*
• Conner watches his father burn and is very very still. A+
• And kind of quiet. I like all of this.
• Angel: "I think you got that down pretty good already."
  Connor: "I wanna learn - to be like you."
  Angel with the slightest smile: "Well, there might be a thing or two that I could show you." If this is going where I think it's going, I can say that I'll like Connor even more.
  
• Fred raising her hand: "I wanna be the vampire!"
  Gunn: "I wanna be in a hot tub." plz to keep inserting random cute Fred/Gunn moments.
• Angel: "Yeah. It has been a long day. (To Conner) Had enough?"
  Connor: "No. I wanna learn."
  These are episodes I'm so going to have to rewatch when I've seen the whole series.
• Why couldn't Buffy/Riley make me feel like Cordy/Boytoy? Where I know it's doomed but I'm sad for both characters involved.
• alskdfjasl Lorne's CD. A++
• Lorne: "Yeah, my publicist's idea. Her name is mud now but the tunes are good. And, ah, and that's not my real gift. This is: it's mutual." Oh god.
• Lorne: "Bubela, all I'm saying is: stay open. Connor's back. Your whole life is coming together. Sometimes things do work out. I got to skiddoo." HE IS LEAVING BECAUSE HE, UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE IT SEEMS, GETS THIS. PERFECT HAPPINESS = ANGELUS.
• Groo: "Tell me I'm wrong. - That I should stay. - That you love only me." Okay yeah that DOESN'T work for me. Seriously people. Get this through your heads. You can love more than one person in your life. THAT IS OKAY.
• Gunn: "You emptied the jumbo tub?"
  Fred pushes the tub at Gunn: "Free refills."
  Gunn: "I love this woman."
  WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO TO BREAK MY HEART. Oh cuteness, for I love you.
• Connor jumps as an airplane apparently streaks right at them.
  Angel: "Sorry. It's just make believe." Cuteness like this. omg.
• Linwood: "What - you're gonna kill a human in front of your son, set an example?"
  Gunn: "I vote yes!" This is why I like Gunn.
• Linwood: "I'm not your enemy. We can help you, Steven."
  Connor after a beat: "My name is Connor." The boy is good.
• God a picture of Wesley, Angel and Cordy. WITH WESLEY IN HIS GLASSES.
• Oh dear lord. CORDY TELLING CORDY SHE'S IN LOVE WITH ANGEL. When does this all go away?
• Connor: "She's beautiful. And she cares about you. I like her." This makes me go 'hm' wrt to Connor/Cordy.
• Fred, still clutching her jumbo tub of popcorn, gets up from the couch and grabs the stake lying on the sofa table. She walks over to Angel and starts to poke him with the stake.
  Fred: "But not perfectly happy, I hope!"
  Thank you Fred. Someone should remember this.
• Wes: "Hmm. You know that sinking feeling you sometimes get the morning after?"
  Wes rolls off Lilah and lies down on his side of the bed.
  Wes: "It arrived early."
  Lilah stretching: "It's like a little death. Several, in fact." OKAY I LIKE IT WHEN THE SHOW DOESN'T MAKE ME WAIT FOR SEX.
• Lilah roll out of bed with a little laugh: "What? No sweet kiss? No 'when can I see you again?' (Wes gives her a look) Watch the dirty looks. That's what got me going in the first place. (Lilah begins to pull on her clothes) I'll give you this: you sure know how to channel your rage, frustration, and hate. Always a bigger turn on than love." I need to find Wesley/Liliah icons. Cos holy crap that hot.
• Wes: "I wasn't thinking about you when you were here." ♥
• asdkfs I like Angel checking his hair. <3
• Connor: "It's all about balance. You lose it (Tosses Angel onto the sand) you lose." lskdjasoi
• SKIP!1!
• Cordy has become a higher being. WHAT.
• Skip: "You. You took on the visions, and even when you could have traded them in for a happy, normal life, even when they were killing you, you wouldn't let them go. The big test came when the Powers made you part demon. They bet the farm on you. Power corrupts. And they gave you a lot of power."
  Cordy: "The glowy thing."
  Skip: "Which you used well - to fight evil, and heal Connor."
  YOU MEAN THE POWER SHE COULDN'T CONTROL? Anyone with logic writing this arc? I'm just asking.
• Cordy: "And only that one time as a night light. - Bad dreams. - Skip, I don't understand." WHAT WHEN? When did she gain control?
• There is pain with Cordy's sainthood. But I like what Connor is doing to Angel. <3
• Connor: "Killing is to good for you. You don't get to die. You get to live - forever." I like this kid.
• I refuse to rant on angel!Cordy because then I would have to think about it more. Which I don't want to do.
• Angel: "Connor?! Connor, never forget that I'm your father and that I love you." <3