Surrounded by nothingness…thankfully not alone…
When mamma used to talk about dying and heaven I always thought it would be more interesting…then this. Not that I’m one for adventure or anything of the sort, but this is dull and boring. Even for me
( Read more... )
I chuckled, that was right. But didn't really have her on a pedestal.
"Don't think that's what it is pet, think I just see you like you see me."
"Well I guess when nobody is looking you've the time to see. I've h-had a lot of practice. Twenty years plus actually..."
I gave her a nod. Never knew much about her past, she talked about her mum a bit but never anyone else in her family. Probably a bunch of wankers I'd want to kill if I found out what they'd done t'her.
"Know what you mean."
I watched her blush, hadn't blushed like that since I went about teasing her a bit ago. Couldn't tell her I wasn't really teasin' then. Trying to cover it up with teasing, but that was something else. Couldn't think bout things like that.
"Well...it's not. You're stuck with me William. I kinda like being stuck here with you...then again I don't see it as being stuck..."I chuckled ( ... )
Reply
I'm glad it did.
"You know, I don't think I would either." I smiled but it quickly turned into a cringe when I started to feel weird again. The room started spinning and there was a dull ache that formed behind my eyes.
I've never felt a pain like this before.
I swallowed hard and tried to shake it off and pretend like everything was ok. "So." I forced a smile. "Who do you want to look on now?"
Reply
I gave her a nod. Knowing she was sincere, we were companions now, nothing more. I had to keep telling myself that. She was Red's girl, I'd seen the way she looked at the witch, how the witch went crazy when she was moving on. Couldn't compete with things like that. Soulmate destiny type things.
I watched her, something was wrong. Didn't like feeling like something was wrong.
"You ok pet?"
She kind of shook me off and looked down.
"So. Who do you want to look on now?"
I shook my head.
"Guess we could check on the bit an' hope she's not busy with some italian kid I'll try to haunt later."
Reply
She's grown up so much. Then again I've been dead...gone...for two years.
I started to say something when I felt the pain behind my eyes again, harder and more intense. The image of Dawn was starting to blur and wave as the pain got stronger. Tears formed in my eyes it was so intense and I felt myself crumple on the floor, holding my head as if I could will the pain to go away.
"S-spike...what's going on..." My voice was low and I knew I sounded broken in a way.
Reply
She fell to the floor, hands on her head.
I jumped up quickly.
"S-spike...what's going on..."
I pulled her body into my lap holding her close running my fingers through her hair, trying to do anything I could to stop whatever was happening. Bloody hated being helpless.
"I don't know love. I don't know."
Coulda killed someone to stop this, she was shaking in my arms. Didn't want it to be like this.
"Tara, love?" She didn't respond and I felt like I was being beaten up. She had to be ok, if this was heaven why was something like this happening here?
"Tara!" I cupped her face in my hands looking at her.
"Please Tara, love, come back to me."
Reply
I started to shake harder, I could feel Spike's arms around me but that did nothing to stop my shaking. I felt the tears run down my cheeks harder as my vision blurred even more so.
"Oh god..."
Like a flash images and pictures came before me, things and people I've never seen before. Things that I wouldn't know in every day happenings and some things were disturbing images that flashed before me. It didn't feel like I was seeing things, it felt like I was in the middle of them.
My eyes shot open and my body shook harder. I wasn't sure if it was from the pain or the sobbing. "Spike make it stop..."
Reply
I looked up, isn't that where they were suppose to be.
"You BLOODY WELL BETTER HELP HER!" I screamed at no one. I saw the tears, it broke my heart, seeing her in pain like that.
"Don't do this to her!" I'd seen people I cared about hurt, but nothing hurt like this.
"Spike make it stop..."
I looked down at her in my arms. What was I suppose to do, tell me how to help. I wanted to beat something up, kill it. Make it better, do anything to help her.
But I couldn't.
Then I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers lightly, I pulled her tighter against me. And I felt a tear fall down my face.
Didn't wanna feel like this, wanted her to be ok even more.
Reply
My arm shot up and I gripped onto his sleeve, pulling him closer and keeping his lips on mine as I felt the blood run down my shoulder.
I started seeing flashes of more things I shouldn't know or be seeing. But I knew who they were. Spike. I was seeing memories and things from him and his past. I knew what some of them were because he'd told me about them. All of this didn't make sense to me. Then again nothing here ever made much with the logic.
Reply
Why did this have to be happening now. I'd thought about kissing her a million times. It took this to make it happen.
I moved a hand, felt her warm blood soaking onto her shirt, I felt so damn helpless, filled with rage over her pain wanting to direct that rage at whatever was causing this.
I kissed her, continued to at least, held her as close as she could get. Heart felt like it was being torn in two, three or four parts, I couldn't even tell anymore.
Her lips were so soft, almost made me forget what was happening. Couldn't loose her, couldn't do that, couldn't let her go.
Reply
I pulled away from his lips and ran my hand down his face. "Guess we just needed a push huh..." I gave him a sad smile and closed my eyes tightly, the pain becoming a numbness inside of me. "Spike...is it possable to die if you're already dead?" I felt like I was. I felt like I was dying all over again. Instead of dying in the arms of my lover it's in the arms of someone I've never gotten to tell I cared.
"I-I don't hurt anymore..."
Reply
Tara pulled away from me, there was a sadness in her eyes, one I couldn't figure out. Her skin touched my face and I shivered.
"Guess we just needed a push huh..."
I just held her close to me.
"Your talking like there's no time." Even I knew what I said made no sense, I knew something was happening here, didn't mean I wanted to face it.
She closed her eyes.
"Spike...is it possable to die if you're already dead?"
I shook my head, not in answer but in fury.
"Your not ... You can't leave me love. Not going to let you leave me behind. Couldn't take it ... Couldn't ever be the same."
I could feel her slipping away, wanted to scream till my throat bled. Wanted to beat something, hit it, make it give me her back.
"I-I don't hurt anymore..."Felt the tears, never wanted to be a nancy boy, never did like to cry, never cried for Dru. Cried once for Buffy, hurt more now, more like chances being ripped away ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment