2009 Lent Gratitude Journal - Day 6
My little Baby Brother...
Funny, He isn't little or a baby any more. He'll be 36 on St. Patrick's day and he has a baby of his own. But he will always be that cute little guy dressed in his 3 piece blue suit running around the house saying in a southern accent "Hi. I'm Jimmy Carter! I'm running for president."
For reasons I won't go into today, I was thrown into a primary care giver role at a very early age. For the first 6 years of his life, he was pretty much attached to my hip. If I went to a friends house... He came too. I went outside, so did he. The only time we weren't together, was when I was at school or when my Dad was Home. Now I'm not complaining... and honestly I rarely complained then. It was something I did willingly and would do again.
Since I lived at home till I was nearly 26, I was there till he was almost out of high school. Yeah there is a 10 year difference in age, but we pretty much grew up with each other. We actually enjoyed hanging out with each other... going to Royal's ball games, Movies, amusement parks or just watching TV.
As we have grown older and in different directions... we seemed to the outsider to have grown apart. We don't talk to each other that much. And the conversations that we do have seem to be for dealing with situations that have arisen. I hate the fact that we aren't there for each other anymore... you know... geographically. Last month I sure could have used a hug from my brother. I am grateful that the distance and the infrequency of conversations has not hindered our relationship. We are always on the same page about the important things in life... Family, money, friends...
Last year when I went to visit Grandma shortly after Nina was born, I was so impressed with the Man, Matt grew up to be. He was juggling so many roles: Husband, Father, My Grandma's main Care Giver, employee, Friend, Brother... and doing it with such grace and selflessness. He was happy to do it. I truly was proud.
I remember watching him doing it all effortlessly and thinking...what an example he is. And from that moment, I have tried to live up to his example. I find it isn't hard. We both have the same framework of values and priorities. His example just reminds me... I can't go wrong if I follow my heart and do the right thing.
Hopefully, I will make him proud of me too... someday.