Facing Your Fears...
Your worst fears are usually the ones that never happen. Unfortunately, they're also the ones that keep you from trusting yourself and your abilities. Doesn't it seem silly to give up in the face of an anxiety that may be no more real than the fairy tale troll that lives under the bridge? If you approach a possible roadblock with hesitation, it might resist and break your resolve. But if you step forward with confidence, you can climb that wall, even one inch at a time, and pull yourself over the top. It's all about confidence, which you build by facing problems. Then you know that you can take on anything that comes along. The unknown monster under the bed is always scarier than the dust bunny reality.
So I joined this new community thing Called sparkpeople. Mainly because I got points for it on Mypoints.com. It supposed to help you achieve weight goals by giving you access to assorted tools like... recipes, forums(which I won't use), a journal, articles, and food showdowns (which I think is kinda fun). The Showdowns are basically a daily email that pits foods against each other to see which one is more healthy. It is supposed to help you make better choices out in the real world.
Well the above quote is from an article they sent me this morning. I thought it was pretty pertinent to my "anxiety and fear" surrounding my resume. They(sparkpeople.com) wanted me to use their journal to "Reflect" upon this article. Well, I am not about to start another journal that I would have to maintain - remember, I am trying to simplify my life... So I thought I could use this journal instead. This way it (Annie's World) isn't all about Geo-bitching and projects.
I can't agree with the above quote more. It is so true. You can't overcome your fears by running from them. Aaaaand the more you avoid your problems the bigger they become. I know that the more I avoided doing the resume, the more it bothered me. I had taken all the materials I would need to work on it upstairs and put them on the kitchen table. I would have to work on it if it was cluttering up the table Right? I kept avoiding it. So much so, that it slowly got shoved to another part of the kitchen, a little bit at a time... In order for me not to catch me moving it. (funny how I never caught on, ehh). I finally said - in this journal - that It would be completed before I came back to work on 11-26-07 no matter what it took. And I worried about it the entire 9 days I was off. I couldn't do anything else because I was worried that I might get too involved with any other project and use that as an excuse not to complete the resume`. I wasted 8 days. I could have completed my christmas shopping, cleaned the office, worked on the media room... Geocached. Things I didn't get completed, nor do because I was all bound up in anxiety.
Here is the funny thing... I am soooo the type of person who nips this crap in the bud. I confront my fears and face my problems head on. But once in a while, very rarely, I am blindsided by anxiety. I see it happening, I know there is no rational reason for me to be freaked, but I am unable to motivate myself to face it until I have no choice because it has become the 500lb gorilla in the room. I know better. But knowing and doing are 2 vastly different things. I have a couple more of those things I have to face. And now that I have faced and conquered one, I feel a little more fueled to tackle another. I just have to decide which one I want to face next. I think it may be the office and all that goes with it. Files, finances, paperwork etc... I'll fill you in later on that project when I get it broken down into manageable tasks and you will see that this one is going to be a biggee...