Moooooooooooovie Night

[allkindsofbuffy]

When the movie started, I got a little more comfortable after handing Wes the popcorn so I could get a little closer. Relax. Not be so uptight and stuff. Leaning my head against him I did just that. Relaxed. I had never actually seen High Noon, but I would take his word for it. If he liked it, I'm sure it was fine. Then again, this was Wes. What

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[watcher_pryce]

High noon was one of my favorite movies. Alright, so I just liked westerns in general, after Gunn introduced me to them. I never really watches movies or the likes before but I discovered a perchance for westerns and oddly enough Jackie Chan movies. Why, I don’t know. I just knew that I liked them

[allkindsofbuffy]

I walked back over to him when I saw the look on his face. It wasn't my fault, I couldn't help what I dreamed and really ... that's the last thing that I did want to dream about. Sitting down next to him, he pulled me closer and I just leaned against him.

Did I want to talk about it? Not really. And I wasn't going to. Not right now, not until I had all the answers. It could be nothing.

It could mean everything.

I was so confused right now that I didn't know what to do, or what to think. I was all mixy inside and for the most part, I wanted to burst out and just cry, or scream and that's when I realized, something was happening. I was reacting too much, thinking too much into it.

Closing my eyes, I just held onto him.

"I love you," I said, mostly because I just needed him to understand that I couldn't talk about it right now, I didn't want him to think I was shutting him out, even though I was doing just that.

I guess I would never change.

[watcher_pryce]

She was silent for so long, I started to worry even more. That it had been a nightmare was bloody obvious, but that it had been this bad I had no idea. Now that I took a good look at her she seemed even more pale then usual in the artificial light. Dark circles under her eyes, that tired haunted look even I couldn’t seem to chase away. I knew that look. I’d seen that look far to often in the mirror. It made me want to scoop her up and tuck her in for a good nights rest

[allkindsofbuffy]

I could tell he was all upset but really, I just .. not right now. Just not right now. Letting out a breath, I sat up and looked at him and shrugged. What else was there to do? I should probably sleep, so I nodded, "Yeah, that's fine," I said and got up, grabbing the bowl of popcorn and taking it into the kitchen. I'd worry about it tomorrow. Or Wes would. He was good at that. He was ... realiable and that's what I needed, I just felt so bad because in all honestly, I wasn't letting him in, not like I did before early on, if any

[watcher_pryce]

Perhaps it was me, but it was as though the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees. It’s probably my imagination, but I could help but wonder about it. She turned cold, distant and as far away from me as she could mentally. She actually got up to do so physically as well. Yes, it was to take away the bowl of popcorn, but one couldn’t help but think it was for the very reason of pulling away. Not wanting to be near me for some reason I can’t actually fathom

[allkindsofbuffy]

I could feel his eyes just watching me and it made me feel uncomfortable, almost naked because I had the feeling that he could see right through me and that's something that I really didn't want. I didn't want someone to know me but then I did. I was confused and it was all so stupid. So very stupid. He said he was going to take a shower and not to wait for him and I just laid there with my eyes open until I felt him get up. Rolling over on my back, I watched him walk to the bathroom and close the door behind him

[watcher_pryce]

I took my time under the shower. Turning it to a scalding hot temperature to chase the cold away I was feeling. It burned my skin as I just stood there, hands against the wall, head dropped down. Only when it turned colder and I still wasn’t warmed up, did I take the washcloth and washed myself. I took my time doing that as well, and even the soap floating up and down, couldn’t get a reaction out of me

[allkindsofbuffy]

He sat down on the bed, asking me why I was acting like this and honestly? I didn't know. Things were just spinning out of control for me but it's not like anything 'bad' is going on. Things are good! I mean, I have a boyfriend, my sister is doing okay (I think) and for the most part, I was more happy than I was a year and a half ago.

Bringing my knee's up, I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin on my knee's.

"I don't know. I just ... It seems that I'm changing completely overnight and I'm changing into something that I never thought that I'd have but it's something that I wanted and now that it's all changing - it's kinda scary. And this whole ... this Spike thing. It's really irking me to the point of uber irkiness and I just want him out of my life but now I'm dreaming about him? It's just ... I hate this."

I looked up at him and then back down. He seemed confused or maybe that was just me with the big confuseness.

I was just a mess.

[watcher_pryce]

The way she tried to make herself small as I sat down on the bed, really made my stomach turn. It was something I’d done wasn’t it? She was… I don’t know. Did she hate me suddenly? Did the time was spend apart suddenly make her come to her senses? Is that it? She figured out she doesn’t want to be with me after all, figured I’m some kind of looser she had a rebound to and she doesn’t know how to tell me

[allkindsofbuffy]

This was really hard, even to explain and people wonder why I keep everything inside and skip the after school special. The problem that I was having with Wes ... it wasn't really even a problem, I guess. I didn't know. Maybe things were changing, maybe they weren't. Maybe today I was just having a bad day. Maybe he read too much into all of this and the fact that he knew what I wanted to think 24/7 was a big problem. Maybe I felt like I couldn't breathe. Maybe the dream got to me, but why did I have to tell him about it? I shouldn't have because I should have known this was going to happen. I put myself into it and I had to take myself out of it

[watcher_pryce]

Never mind? No, no not never mind. I don’t like it when she has a problem but feels as though she can’t talk to me about it. I’m her goddamn lover, and what’s more I am hopefully her partner. Aren’t we supposed to share everything? Haven’t I told her about me as well, haven’t I opened up to her for her sake? And now she’s closing herself off to me? I don’t like it

[allkindsofbuffy]

I just looked at him. I really thought I got it to where he would understand it but I was wrong. I ...

Looking up at him, I licked my bottom lip and nodded. "I am scared because this is normal. Normal, normal, normal. Okay, my first boyfriend, normal but then I get to Sunnydale and after that? Not so normal. Vampires and military boys that like to be bitten by vamps and then ... vampires and then ..."

I wondered if that made sense to him. I really hated doing this and maybe tomorrow would be a different day and I wasn't so moody and I was little miss sunshine like I sometimes was but right now? I felt ... helpless. He just had to reassure me that everything was going to be okay.

"I'm not missing anything that has to do with our relationship... I'm just ... well ..." I trailed off and just nodded.

"Okay, maybe I went crazy or something, I don't know but ... yeah. Tomorrow will be better."

[watcher_pryce]

“You’re afraid of normal?” I blink at that and frown. Well, that makes sense. I wouldn’t know normal if it hit me in the face so I can’t judge. I was born and raised to fight the good fight. Born to know about the demons that lurked in the night. Born to know that the monsters under the bed were really under your bed. Something no seven year old should know, I realized years later

[allkindsofbuffy]

I smiled while he talked because even with that, he made me feel alot better. I knew he would. Maybe that's just what I needed to hear. That everything was going to be okay or something corny like that. I guess everyone wants to hear that and I am no different

[watcher_pryce]

The slightly amused look I gave her couldn’t be missed. It was going to be her fault if things went wrong? Does she have any idea whom she’s talking to? The man who ever since he was born, or at least came to this great country of the United States has done nothing but mess things up. She was here to witness it the first time, then the several times with Angel, lets not even start about my so called Rogue Demon Hunter days and last but not least, the biggest screw up of them all

[allkindsofbuffy]

I nodded at him and slid under the covers as he put his arm around me. This was nice and this was something that I wanted, I was just afraid that I was going to screw it up. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day and I won't have to think like this again because screwing with your boyfriends head? Not really a good thing. I still wanted to find Spike, but right now? I wasn't worried about it which made me feel guilty because what if he was killing?

I closed my eyes and pressed myself to him.

"Tomorrow will be a better day," I whispered and looked up at him before leaning up and giving him a small kiss. I laid back down again and rubbed his chest before closing my eyes again.

It wasn't long until I dozed off and eventually fell asleep.