so much to do so little attention span
HERE ARE THE NEXT TWO ESSAYS. ♥
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! -- Teito Klein (and other negative relationships?)
Okay once upon a time we were being dumb in babychan and Teito randomly asked me wtf was up with Shuri's obsessive hatred of Teito. We had a discussion where everyone was like 'lol what if he has a crush' and then Teito made me write an essay about it to figure out the truth and only now am I getting around to it. But I have written it, because I am topped. :'(
WITH ALL OF THIS IN MIND. Okay so I've basically spoiled the whole essay for you: within my interpretation of him, at least, it is in fact very plausible that Shuri had A THING for Teito in some TERRIBLE WAY in the Academy. I say 'in the Academy' because any crush he had on him has long since been stabbed to death.
Shuri has a fixation on Teito that has no solid basis. He proclaims that he hates Teito most, during the exams can only think about how he has to be better than Teito, etc. etc. etc. I'm willing to bet that Teito never did anything specifically to Shuri that would precipitate something like this, just... because of the way Teito was, a sullen loner who stayed out of people's business and everything. SO of course maybe he had a crush. I HAVEN'T NECESSARILY BEEN PLAYING HIM THAT WAY, but I don't think it actually matters. It's not like Shuri realizes how obsessive he is in his hatred. To him it's just that he dislikes him the most! Even though Teito and other similar people... aren't actually the ones Shuri dislikes the most! In organizing my thoughts on how Shuri's mind works when he hates people, I kinda made a chart. PAY ATTENTION TO THE INDIGO LINE ON THE FAR LEFT, because that is where Teito goes. IT'S ALSO INDIGO BECAUSE I SAY IT IS, DON'T LAUGH AT MY MSPAINT DEFAULT PALETTE COLORS.
Anyway! As I was saying, the people he dislikes the most are not the people he goes around telling everyone he dislikes the most.
In order of pure, undiluted dislike: Yellow > Orange > Violet > Indigo > Green
In order of obsession: Indigo > Green > Violet > Orange > Yellow
HMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm
I think with the way this flowchart works, you could erase the end results and it could mostly apply to any character, as a general breakdown. But within Shuri's individual chart he has his own idiosyncracies, like the hugeness and diversity of his violet category (I wondered if I should break it down more than that, but I figured it wasn't applicable to this essay) that he doesn't even consciously dislike all of. Because for some people the 'pressure' there terrifies him into forgetting he dislikes them in the first place. Similarly! Somewhere in the indigo line, as you can see, there is a panic button. It is not that Shuri hates Teito because Teito has done so many things that Shuri hates. It is because Teito may not have done enough things that he hates?! And he has to prove to himself that he still hates him. I-It's kind of hilarious, as that question was the reason for disliking them important? is THE KEY that can unlock either a healthy friendly relationship or a TERRIBLE OBSESSIVE ANTAGONISM. Depending on which way you go. If Shuri decides for any stupid reason that he wants to keep being antagonistic to you instead of being friends, you are getting hella antagonized. Anyway, yeah--Shuri's main problem is that he wants a black and white world and liking people and things that he "shouldn't" like freaks him out.
There a few people in the indigo category, and not all of them are the same severity. A good example WAS Mikage, who Shuri made sure to insult every so often because Mikage is a steward to his family and below him and it's the principle of the thing, but who Shuri actually got along with decently if left to talk unguarded for a few minutes. He doesn't really care as much though? Because that 'important reason' isn't as strong? So he's not as terrible to him (DISREGARDING THEIR LAST THREAD BECAUSE THAT FUCKED THINGS UP BUT YOU KNOW BEFORE THAT, THIS SHOULD TEACH ME TO TAKE A LONG TIME WRITING ESSAYS). In Teito's case--he's an ex-slave! Which is like way worse. ...But even that doesn't really account for being all obsessive over him; by all means he should be treated roughly the same as Mikage. There's got to be some sort of other reason spurring him on.
The first possibility is that Shuri really was starting to develop a crush on Teito. Especially given where Shuri was in the timeline of canon... I mean, I don't know how obvious it is to everyone, but Shuri has loosened up A LOT since coming to camp. He's much more willing to let things slide and if something doesn't fit in his worldview he's a lot more likely to just go "FFFFFTT WHATEVER" instead of going "NO, THAT'S A LIE AND THIS IS ALL A LIE." In canon Shuri is not self-aware at all imho. He doesn't know himself. And he rejects anything that doesn't fit with the self he thinks he is. HE WILL MAKE IT SO HE IS HIS OWN IDEAL, not by actually doing anything, but by pretending extensively. And this would be way before Antwort, even before the Academy's exams, so this is waaaay before he even started to have his little No Reality Allowed shell cracked. What this means in the context of this essay is that if Shuri EVER found himself even slightly attracted to Teito Klein, he would smother that sentiment before it ever reached the surface of his consciousness. Because being attracted to his male ex-slave classmate is just SO FAR FROM WHAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO DO that it would seem simply ridiculous to him. Haha, you're kidding right? No way! So while he's there choking that idea until it dies, he has to make sure Teito knows that that idea was definitely never there in the first place, to COVER HIS TRACKS. So he'll go out of his way to go HA HA! YOU SUCK, TEITO! And eventually he acted out that scenario often enough that it became his new truth, and any trace of attraction to Teito disappeared from his mind. Then there would only be a sort of void there that Shuri avoids looking in. All that would be left for him is the knowledge that he MUST HATE TEITO KLEIN. WHY? DON'T QUESTION ME. HE'S A SLAVE, ISN'T HE? THAT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR YOU. ...SO HE'S ACTUALLY A PRINCE OR SOMETHING? ...SO WHAT, YOU HATE HIM ANYWAY, DON'T YOU?
...The second possibility is just that Teito's apathy towards him REALLY MADE HIM WANT TO PROVE SOMETHING. Shuri is used to being the center of attention and having everything revolve around him. A lot of the students at the Academy would follow Shuri around and pay him empty compliments for points with the Oaks, I imagine. But Teito doesn't really care about that and thus doesn't fake liking Shuri! And instead just ignores him! And people ignoring Shuri REALLY PISSES HIM OFF!! Because when Shuri Oak is around, all eyes must be on Shuri Oak. If Shuri has to MAKE YOU pay attention to him by provoking you until you pay attention to him, SO BE IT. He may make more enemies than friends this way, but at least he is important and paid attention to, which is the main thing. ;; AND Teito is exempt from classes and everything and is given special treatment by Miroku, which makes him SPECIAL when really SHURI should be the special one, because he's SHURI OAK, FUCK YOU TEITO KLEIN, THAT SPOTLIGHT SHOULD BE MINE!
Honestly in the end the second possibility is more likely, but it's not like they're mutually exclusive, so I shall take a bit of both. SO AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THEY'RE BOTH TRUE UNLESS CANON MAGICALLY SAYS SOMETHING ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. So there. ...So writing both of those sections wasn't a waste. :D
Because Shuri's relationship with Teito is so established and neither of them like each other enough to change things, they've been mostly stuck in the same place even after all this time, but very recently in camp things have been changing somewhat?? In that Shuri has found out some of Teito's true ancestry, and also he's had to admit that he doesn't hate Teito, underneath the truth effect. I mean, Teito has saved Shuri's life (more than once, counting in camp!) and now he's not even just a slave, he was friggin' royalty, and Shuri is becoming more self-aware and questioning things that have been in his head for a long time, and basically he is totally running out of reasons to dislike Teito. HOWEVER... there is still one important element that will keep them estranged. Even if Shuri doesn't really have anything against Teito, TEITO doesn't like Shuri at all, and has admitted as much, underneath the truth effect to Shuri's face. He has very good reasons for disliking Shuri, of course, since Shuri has done nothing but be a total bitch to him the entire time they have known each other. But... Shuri refuses to show kindness (on purpose) to people who dislike him. I mentioned this--in another essay somewhere, but Shuri cannot stand liking people more than they like him, so as soon as he finds out someone dislikes him he must HASTEN TO HATE THEM EVEN MORE THAN THEY DISLIKE HIM. He must retain his pride. ;o;
So that's what's up with Teito. orz
YOU MEAN THERE ARE SHADES OF GREY?! -- Hakuren gets his own category
In starting an essay about Hakuren, the first thing I have to do is cry, because it's still completely headcanon. Cry. ...Now that that's out of my system.
It is quite likely that Shuri would have snapped and been severely more messed up than he is if he did not have Hakuren in camp with him. Ever since the first day in camp when Hakuren offered him shelter Shuri has had Hakuren there to bring his problems to. Since we assume that Hakuren and Shuri have known each other since childhood and that they grew up in roughly the same environment... Hakuren is probably the person who understands the most about what kind of person Shuri is and why he acts the way he does. At once, Hakuren is someone who is an Oak and understands the family's reputation and ideals, AND someone who has distanced himself from that, so there's no pressure for Shuri to keep it up around him. So... while many other people only see one or two faces of Shuri's, Shuri has cautiously allowed Hakuren to see most of them.
Because he has accepted Hakuren as his confidant he has been able to weather everything he's gone through in camp. Especially since--at home, in his element, if anything went wrong, I assume he went crying to his father. His father would presumably help him out and give him advice that works in the environment they're in at home, where their family has power and can smooth things out that way. SOUND ADVICE GIVEN CIRCUMSTANCES! Camp is not like that! When anything goes wrong in camp, Shuri goes crying to Hakuren instead, and Hakuren gives him advice that is more sound for a realistic, non-hierarchical setting like camp. So Hakuren has taken on that role! The wise dispenser of advice!
...Really everyone jokes about Hakuren being a mom to everyone, but he... I think he seriously is the closest thing Shuri has to a parental figure in camp, and Shuri to some degree thinks of him that way. It's been a gradual process, from tsuntsun cousins to this, but in the present day Shuri puts Hakuren on a pedestal, comes to him with his problems, constantly seeks his approval, TRIES NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE'S ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE, has occasional YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND/YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING outbursts, and Hakuren is totally his mom ok.
"But Shuri," you may say. "I thought you said you would do him." Yes, well. That is more a combination of love/affection and Hakuren being very attractive and Shuri being very narcissistic and so it's not that unappealing but--in the end, Shuri does think it's sort of weird and doesn't seriously want to or anything. His love is platonic! :(
ANYWAY, ANYWAY!! That said Shuri is still obviously tsuntsun about Hakuren. WHYEVER SO--? On one hand he is absolutely convinced that Hakuren doesn't care for him as much as he cares about Hakuren, and as we have already established Shuri CANNOT STAND THIS SITUATION EVER and thus refuses to open up completely to Hakuren until he actually believes Hakuren cares for him as a person. I'm not sure Hakuren realizes... Shuri, despite being sort of tsundere himself, doesn't actually understand tsundere love. And despite being a chronic liar, takes everyone else at face value! He reacts badly to insults and criticism and very warmly to compliments and praise, and he basically only accepts the latter as 'love' since that's all he's grown up with and so it's impossible for him to compute that Hakuren might love him until it goes up to the sparkly level. HE'S OBVIOUSLY JUST PUTTING UP WITH ME OUT OF OBLIGATION :/ Shuri is actually very sensitive to Hakuren's impression of him and his mood gets thrown off a lot in situations like--"Hakuren I'm being nice to people (like you wanted me to be proud of me!)" "That's nice Shuri but maybe you could try xyz instead next time and it would be even better" "... :/" or "Hakuren I'm teaching the dinosaur math (isn't that cool you should be proud of me!)" "I'm not sure the dinosaur needs to learn math..." "ahhhh ;o;"
He is also especially tsuntsun because... the current unresolved issue with Shuri is with the Oak family, and Hakuren is. Part of. The Oak family, technically. They discussed this briefly under the truth effect but Shuri doesn't want to show any problems with his family or future to anyone, especially Hakuren, because... he doesn't want to end up like Hakuren and he doesn't want people to advise him in that direction. Especially since he really doesn't know what he wants to do and if he ends up dismissing his concerns and staying on his path he would rather not have told anyone from home he had problems with it in the first place, so when he does leave camp and go back to the same old scenario nobody will think it odd. And so he doesn't want Hakuren to know anything!! And despite sharing most of his other concerns with Hakuren, he will continue to put on a show for anything concerning his family or profession. However, like I said, Hakuren has been in the Oak family, and despite everything is probably one of the best people to guide Shuri through things. Just. Shuri is stubborn!!1 and yes.
But even when Shuri won't budge on this one little thing (which I will hopefully explain more adequately in Oak family essay sob) he has actually learned to take Hakuren's advice to heart otherwise :x He may or may not actually follow it well, but he remembers it. He uses Hakuren as a sounding board for all of the things he tells himself or asks himself and yet can get nothing from. Repeating the same things to himself doesn't get him anywhere. Hakuren always has a different perspective on things that Shuri doesn't expect or think of himself, and though Shuri often complains about how he can't understand Hakuren one bit, he actually values this about him. XD; EVEN THOUGH a lot of times Shuri reacts badly to Hakuren's perspective because it's so different, it's something to think about! Because of Hakuren Shuri has developed more critical thinking skills. And really that's what the title of this essay is about. :x Shuri doesn't completely understand the concepts Hakuren gives him, but... he takes them anyway. BECAUSE HE LOEV HAKUREN. THE END.
I... I'm sure I must have had more to say... but I can't think of it right now. COUSIN AND TEITO tell me about other important things I forgot and I'll write them in :'(
NEXT IS ESSAYS ON FAMILY AND MIND FUCKERY AND STUFF AND THEN I'M DONEEEEEE
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! -- Teito Klein (and other negative relationships?)
Okay once upon a time we were being dumb in babychan and Teito randomly asked me wtf was up with Shuri's obsessive hatred of Teito. We had a discussion where everyone was like 'lol what if he has a crush' and then Teito made me write an essay about it to figure out the truth and only now am I getting around to it. But I have written it, because I am topped. :'(
WITH ALL OF THIS IN MIND. Okay so I've basically spoiled the whole essay for you: within my interpretation of him, at least, it is in fact very plausible that Shuri had A THING for Teito in some TERRIBLE WAY in the Academy. I say 'in the Academy' because any crush he had on him has long since been stabbed to death.
Shuri has a fixation on Teito that has no solid basis. He proclaims that he hates Teito most, during the exams can only think about how he has to be better than Teito, etc. etc. etc. I'm willing to bet that Teito never did anything specifically to Shuri that would precipitate something like this, just... because of the way Teito was, a sullen loner who stayed out of people's business and everything. SO of course maybe he had a crush. I HAVEN'T NECESSARILY BEEN PLAYING HIM THAT WAY, but I don't think it actually matters. It's not like Shuri realizes how obsessive he is in his hatred. To him it's just that he dislikes him the most! Even though Teito and other similar people... aren't actually the ones Shuri dislikes the most! In organizing my thoughts on how Shuri's mind works when he hates people, I kinda made a chart. PAY ATTENTION TO THE INDIGO LINE ON THE FAR LEFT, because that is where Teito goes. IT'S ALSO INDIGO BECAUSE I SAY IT IS, DON'T LAUGH AT MY MSPAINT DEFAULT PALETTE COLORS.
Anyway! As I was saying, the people he dislikes the most are not the people he goes around telling everyone he dislikes the most.
In order of pure, undiluted dislike: Yellow > Orange > Violet > Indigo > Green
In order of obsession: Indigo > Green > Violet > Orange > Yellow
HMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm
I think with the way this flowchart works, you could erase the end results and it could mostly apply to any character, as a general breakdown. But within Shuri's individual chart he has his own idiosyncracies, like the hugeness and diversity of his violet category (I wondered if I should break it down more than that, but I figured it wasn't applicable to this essay) that he doesn't even consciously dislike all of. Because for some people the 'pressure' there terrifies him into forgetting he dislikes them in the first place. Similarly! Somewhere in the indigo line, as you can see, there is a panic button. It is not that Shuri hates Teito because Teito has done so many things that Shuri hates. It is because Teito may not have done enough things that he hates?! And he has to prove to himself that he still hates him. I-It's kind of hilarious, as that question was the reason for disliking them important? is THE KEY that can unlock either a healthy friendly relationship or a TERRIBLE OBSESSIVE ANTAGONISM. Depending on which way you go. If Shuri decides for any stupid reason that he wants to keep being antagonistic to you instead of being friends, you are getting hella antagonized. Anyway, yeah--Shuri's main problem is that he wants a black and white world and liking people and things that he "shouldn't" like freaks him out.
There a few people in the indigo category, and not all of them are the same severity. A good example WAS Mikage, who Shuri made sure to insult every so often because Mikage is a steward to his family and below him and it's the principle of the thing, but who Shuri actually got along with decently if left to talk unguarded for a few minutes. He doesn't really care as much though? Because that 'important reason' isn't as strong? So he's not as terrible to him (DISREGARDING THEIR LAST THREAD BECAUSE THAT FUCKED THINGS UP BUT YOU KNOW BEFORE THAT, THIS SHOULD TEACH ME TO TAKE A LONG TIME WRITING ESSAYS). In Teito's case--he's an ex-slave! Which is like way worse. ...But even that doesn't really account for being all obsessive over him; by all means he should be treated roughly the same as Mikage. There's got to be some sort of other reason spurring him on.
The first possibility is that Shuri really was starting to develop a crush on Teito. Especially given where Shuri was in the timeline of canon... I mean, I don't know how obvious it is to everyone, but Shuri has loosened up A LOT since coming to camp. He's much more willing to let things slide and if something doesn't fit in his worldview he's a lot more likely to just go "FFFFFTT WHATEVER" instead of going "NO, THAT'S A LIE AND THIS IS ALL A LIE." In canon Shuri is not self-aware at all imho. He doesn't know himself. And he rejects anything that doesn't fit with the self he thinks he is. HE WILL MAKE IT SO HE IS HIS OWN IDEAL, not by actually doing anything, but by pretending extensively. And this would be way before Antwort, even before the Academy's exams, so this is waaaay before he even started to have his little No Reality Allowed shell cracked. What this means in the context of this essay is that if Shuri EVER found himself even slightly attracted to Teito Klein, he would smother that sentiment before it ever reached the surface of his consciousness. Because being attracted to his male ex-slave classmate is just SO FAR FROM WHAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO DO that it would seem simply ridiculous to him. Haha, you're kidding right? No way! So while he's there choking that idea until it dies, he has to make sure Teito knows that that idea was definitely never there in the first place, to COVER HIS TRACKS. So he'll go out of his way to go HA HA! YOU SUCK, TEITO! And eventually he acted out that scenario often enough that it became his new truth, and any trace of attraction to Teito disappeared from his mind. Then there would only be a sort of void there that Shuri avoids looking in. All that would be left for him is the knowledge that he MUST HATE TEITO KLEIN. WHY? DON'T QUESTION ME. HE'S A SLAVE, ISN'T HE? THAT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR YOU. ...SO HE'S ACTUALLY A PRINCE OR SOMETHING? ...SO WHAT, YOU HATE HIM ANYWAY, DON'T YOU?
...The second possibility is just that Teito's apathy towards him REALLY MADE HIM WANT TO PROVE SOMETHING. Shuri is used to being the center of attention and having everything revolve around him. A lot of the students at the Academy would follow Shuri around and pay him empty compliments for points with the Oaks, I imagine. But Teito doesn't really care about that and thus doesn't fake liking Shuri! And instead just ignores him! And people ignoring Shuri REALLY PISSES HIM OFF!! Because when Shuri Oak is around, all eyes must be on Shuri Oak. If Shuri has to MAKE YOU pay attention to him by provoking you until you pay attention to him, SO BE IT. He may make more enemies than friends this way, but at least he is important and paid attention to, which is the main thing. ;; AND Teito is exempt from classes and everything and is given special treatment by Miroku, which makes him SPECIAL when really SHURI should be the special one, because he's SHURI OAK, FUCK YOU TEITO KLEIN, THAT SPOTLIGHT SHOULD BE MINE!
Honestly in the end the second possibility is more likely, but it's not like they're mutually exclusive, so I shall take a bit of both. SO AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THEY'RE BOTH TRUE UNLESS CANON MAGICALLY SAYS SOMETHING ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. So there. ...So writing both of those sections wasn't a waste. :D
Because Shuri's relationship with Teito is so established and neither of them like each other enough to change things, they've been mostly stuck in the same place even after all this time, but very recently in camp things have been changing somewhat?? In that Shuri has found out some of Teito's true ancestry, and also he's had to admit that he doesn't hate Teito, underneath the truth effect. I mean, Teito has saved Shuri's life (more than once, counting in camp!) and now he's not even just a slave, he was friggin' royalty, and Shuri is becoming more self-aware and questioning things that have been in his head for a long time, and basically he is totally running out of reasons to dislike Teito. HOWEVER... there is still one important element that will keep them estranged. Even if Shuri doesn't really have anything against Teito, TEITO doesn't like Shuri at all, and has admitted as much, underneath the truth effect to Shuri's face. He has very good reasons for disliking Shuri, of course, since Shuri has done nothing but be a total bitch to him the entire time they have known each other. But... Shuri refuses to show kindness (on purpose) to people who dislike him. I mentioned this--in another essay somewhere, but Shuri cannot stand liking people more than they like him, so as soon as he finds out someone dislikes him he must HASTEN TO HATE THEM EVEN MORE THAN THEY DISLIKE HIM. He must retain his pride. ;o;
So that's what's up with Teito. orz
YOU MEAN THERE ARE SHADES OF GREY?! -- Hakuren gets his own category
In starting an essay about Hakuren, the first thing I have to do is cry, because it's still completely headcanon. Cry. ...Now that that's out of my system.
It is quite likely that Shuri would have snapped and been severely more messed up than he is if he did not have Hakuren in camp with him. Ever since the first day in camp when Hakuren offered him shelter Shuri has had Hakuren there to bring his problems to. Since we assume that Hakuren and Shuri have known each other since childhood and that they grew up in roughly the same environment... Hakuren is probably the person who understands the most about what kind of person Shuri is and why he acts the way he does. At once, Hakuren is someone who is an Oak and understands the family's reputation and ideals, AND someone who has distanced himself from that, so there's no pressure for Shuri to keep it up around him. So... while many other people only see one or two faces of Shuri's, Shuri has cautiously allowed Hakuren to see most of them.
Because he has accepted Hakuren as his confidant he has been able to weather everything he's gone through in camp. Especially since--at home, in his element, if anything went wrong, I assume he went crying to his father. His father would presumably help him out and give him advice that works in the environment they're in at home, where their family has power and can smooth things out that way. SOUND ADVICE GIVEN CIRCUMSTANCES! Camp is not like that! When anything goes wrong in camp, Shuri goes crying to Hakuren instead, and Hakuren gives him advice that is more sound for a realistic, non-hierarchical setting like camp. So Hakuren has taken on that role! The wise dispenser of advice!
...Really everyone jokes about Hakuren being a mom to everyone, but he... I think he seriously is the closest thing Shuri has to a parental figure in camp, and Shuri to some degree thinks of him that way. It's been a gradual process, from tsuntsun cousins to this, but in the present day Shuri puts Hakuren on a pedestal, comes to him with his problems, constantly seeks his approval, TRIES NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE'S ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE, has occasional YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND/YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING outbursts, and Hakuren is totally his mom ok.
"But Shuri," you may say. "I thought you said you would do him." Yes, well. That is more a combination of love/affection and Hakuren being very attractive and Shuri being very narcissistic and so it's not that unappealing but--in the end, Shuri does think it's sort of weird and doesn't seriously want to or anything. His love is platonic! :(
ANYWAY, ANYWAY!! That said Shuri is still obviously tsuntsun about Hakuren. WHYEVER SO--? On one hand he is absolutely convinced that Hakuren doesn't care for him as much as he cares about Hakuren, and as we have already established Shuri CANNOT STAND THIS SITUATION EVER and thus refuses to open up completely to Hakuren until he actually believes Hakuren cares for him as a person. I'm not sure Hakuren realizes... Shuri, despite being sort of tsundere himself, doesn't actually understand tsundere love. And despite being a chronic liar, takes everyone else at face value! He reacts badly to insults and criticism and very warmly to compliments and praise, and he basically only accepts the latter as 'love' since that's all he's grown up with and so it's impossible for him to compute that Hakuren might love him until it goes up to the sparkly level. HE'S OBVIOUSLY JUST PUTTING UP WITH ME OUT OF OBLIGATION :/ Shuri is actually very sensitive to Hakuren's impression of him and his mood gets thrown off a lot in situations like--"Hakuren I'm being nice to people (like you wanted me to be proud of me!)" "That's nice Shuri but maybe you could try xyz instead next time and it would be even better" "... :/" or "Hakuren I'm teaching the dinosaur math (isn't that cool you should be proud of me!)" "I'm not sure the dinosaur needs to learn math..." "ahhhh ;o;"
He is also especially tsuntsun because... the current unresolved issue with Shuri is with the Oak family, and Hakuren is. Part of. The Oak family, technically. They discussed this briefly under the truth effect but Shuri doesn't want to show any problems with his family or future to anyone, especially Hakuren, because... he doesn't want to end up like Hakuren and he doesn't want people to advise him in that direction. Especially since he really doesn't know what he wants to do and if he ends up dismissing his concerns and staying on his path he would rather not have told anyone from home he had problems with it in the first place, so when he does leave camp and go back to the same old scenario nobody will think it odd. And so he doesn't want Hakuren to know anything!! And despite sharing most of his other concerns with Hakuren, he will continue to put on a show for anything concerning his family or profession. However, like I said, Hakuren has been in the Oak family, and despite everything is probably one of the best people to guide Shuri through things. Just. Shuri is stubborn!!1 and yes.
But even when Shuri won't budge on this one little thing (which I will hopefully explain more adequately in Oak family essay sob) he has actually learned to take Hakuren's advice to heart otherwise :x He may or may not actually follow it well, but he remembers it. He uses Hakuren as a sounding board for all of the things he tells himself or asks himself and yet can get nothing from. Repeating the same things to himself doesn't get him anywhere. Hakuren always has a different perspective on things that Shuri doesn't expect or think of himself, and though Shuri often complains about how he can't understand Hakuren one bit, he actually values this about him. XD; EVEN THOUGH a lot of times Shuri reacts badly to Hakuren's perspective because it's so different, it's something to think about! Because of Hakuren Shuri has developed more critical thinking skills. And really that's what the title of this essay is about. :x Shuri doesn't completely understand the concepts Hakuren gives him, but... he takes them anyway. BECAUSE HE LOEV HAKUREN. THE END.
I... I'm sure I must have had more to say... but I can't think of it right now. COUSIN AND TEITO tell me about other important things I forgot and I'll write them in :'(
NEXT IS ESSAYS ON FAMILY AND MIND FUCKERY AND STUFF AND THEN I'M DONEEEEEE