(no subject)
so its been a while...and lots has happened.... not too sure whats goin through his mind...what can i say?
Everytime you look at me I wanna die, wanna die
Stranger things that I would say to make you feel the way I feel
Its just that I have been broken so many *thousand times*
And everytime I start again I wonder why, wonder why?
Its been such a hard year, it won't ever change
memories are a bitch....and love is an even bigger one..... but i dont regret any of it...never regret something that once made you smile...and man did i smile....alot...... idk..live and learn not to fuck people over i suppose....lifes little lessons hurt alot.... i wish it was different...but its not..and i cant change that now....it'll take a while..maybe one day it'll go back to normal...but that would be a miracle.....but hell...thats what im hoping for.as the saying goes.....you always want what you cant have...and damnit i want it bad. but there's just no hope...theres too much history.. and too much pain and way too many people against it....it would never work...why do i do this to myself?...its like im a living doormat...he messes up..we fight..he comes back... its an ongoing cycle... and i dont seem to be bothered by it.....love is blind.i guess as long as he comes back....ill take it... cause baby...even if i never showed it...you've *always* had...and *always* will have my heart <3