Your A Canary, I'm A Coal Mine
I'm letting everything pile up.
It's all breaking my back and I don't know when I might explode.
Work, family, friends, stuff.
I confess things when Im drunk. Stupid things. Embarassing things. I think about the things that I say after I get sober, and I want to, and most of the time, cry about it. I shouldn't express how I feel, ever. And it's now the one time when I do. I suppose I should just quit drinking >>
Why I can't shake the feelings I have, I don't know. It might just be a severe case of 'you want what you can't have'. But I know that if I had it, I'd still want it. Hense why I want to shoot myself in the face everytime I say something that would make them think that they don't matter, since they really matter the most. Atleast in my writings, her heart becomes mine.
Which just reminds me, WRITERSBLOCKGONE!
Hallelujah, right?
Mmm, yes.
Anyway, back to my frustrations.
I lie when I say 'I love you' to some. I don't know why I say it. I suppose it just sounds good. This all just adds to the fact that I'm a horrible hyporcrite since I absolutely hate people who abuse the word LOVE. I don't know how much of my 'obsession' has been confused with 'love'. Alot, that is for sure. Which is then partially why I've self-diagnosed myself with some sort of obsessive personality disorder. I'm just friggin weird. And stupid.
I like them, yes. But love, no no no. But he's the only one who I can rant at and I feel fine with him ranting back at me. We have...Something.
Working at Arby's is fucking stupid.
When I requested days off to go to Florida, Brandie said everything was "all set." Then she scheduled me on 2 of the days I asked off. And sunday is the one day I said I couldn't work...EVER. It's my day for me. The other 6 days are for others. But fuck no, I work today. They're fucking stupid. On my next day off, I'll be hunting for a new one.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never win. And maybe, if I do, it'll be the same day God is like "Alright, rapture time!", and it will all be in vain.
It's all breaking my back and I don't know when I might explode.
Work, family, friends, stuff.
I confess things when Im drunk. Stupid things. Embarassing things. I think about the things that I say after I get sober, and I want to, and most of the time, cry about it. I shouldn't express how I feel, ever. And it's now the one time when I do. I suppose I should just quit drinking >>
Why I can't shake the feelings I have, I don't know. It might just be a severe case of 'you want what you can't have'. But I know that if I had it, I'd still want it. Hense why I want to shoot myself in the face everytime I say something that would make them think that they don't matter, since they really matter the most. Atleast in my writings, her heart becomes mine.
Which just reminds me, WRITERSBLOCKGONE!
Hallelujah, right?
Mmm, yes.
Anyway, back to my frustrations.
I lie when I say 'I love you' to some. I don't know why I say it. I suppose it just sounds good. This all just adds to the fact that I'm a horrible hyporcrite since I absolutely hate people who abuse the word LOVE. I don't know how much of my 'obsession' has been confused with 'love'. Alot, that is for sure. Which is then partially why I've self-diagnosed myself with some sort of obsessive personality disorder. I'm just friggin weird. And stupid.
I like them, yes. But love, no no no. But he's the only one who I can rant at and I feel fine with him ranting back at me. We have...Something.
Working at Arby's is fucking stupid.
When I requested days off to go to Florida, Brandie said everything was "all set." Then she scheduled me on 2 of the days I asked off. And sunday is the one day I said I couldn't work...EVER. It's my day for me. The other 6 days are for others. But fuck no, I work today. They're fucking stupid. On my next day off, I'll be hunting for a new one.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never win. And maybe, if I do, it'll be the same day God is like "Alright, rapture time!", and it will all be in vain.