You Cant Break That Which Isnt Yours
I wonder why certain random things make my heart skip. Why little things make me think of happiness. Evoked memories of happiness just lead to a letdown.
I want to cut out all those that bring me down. Everyone who is, well, a bump on a log. In order for me to function the way I need to, they need to go.
I talk about moving down to Florida. But I want to stay here, go to/finish school. Then leave. Far away. To Texas. Florida doesnt need/want me. I have no calling for there. Then I think about leaving Logan here and I cry. Someone who actually cares for me and isn't like "Yeah, I like you, but I like someone else too, and well, Im gonna choose them." He actually acknowledges my existance to his friends. He says Im his girlfriend, instead of just ignoring my being there. Finally someone that I want to give the world to, again. I tried once and they threw it back at me. If I left him, I'd be alone. I'd have to rebuild, AGAIN. I don't know if I'd make it through.
Back to the heart skipping beats.
You know, those little things you see, read, and/or hear that just make you smile or remember something that was better in your life? I love them. And I hate them. This is only happens with me with 2 people. A certain young girl, and Logan. I hate them because it reminds of happiness, yet then I remember how I up and left things unfinished. Then Logan and I have known eachother for quite sometime and I refuse to let that happen to us. I will say what I need to just to ensure that everything is open. Anyways, enough about him. ^^
I sometimes purposely do things that will make me think about them 2 just to feel the smirk on my face.
Then there are the bad days. The days where I open up my box of memories and play the songs that make me cry and just fill myself with every down emotion, because I can. Because, even though they hurt, I want them to hurt more. I want them to hurt like me at that moment. Kris gets the worst of it, I think. I get so hate-filled and spiteful and just flatout angry. Lucky for those that fall in this catagory, this feeling has been settling now that I've been becoming okay with how everything is going.
It is time to sleep.
I want to cut out all those that bring me down. Everyone who is, well, a bump on a log. In order for me to function the way I need to, they need to go.
I talk about moving down to Florida. But I want to stay here, go to/finish school. Then leave. Far away. To Texas. Florida doesnt need/want me. I have no calling for there. Then I think about leaving Logan here and I cry. Someone who actually cares for me and isn't like "Yeah, I like you, but I like someone else too, and well, Im gonna choose them." He actually acknowledges my existance to his friends. He says Im his girlfriend, instead of just ignoring my being there. Finally someone that I want to give the world to, again. I tried once and they threw it back at me. If I left him, I'd be alone. I'd have to rebuild, AGAIN. I don't know if I'd make it through.
Back to the heart skipping beats.
You know, those little things you see, read, and/or hear that just make you smile or remember something that was better in your life? I love them. And I hate them. This is only happens with me with 2 people. A certain young girl, and Logan. I hate them because it reminds of happiness, yet then I remember how I up and left things unfinished. Then Logan and I have known eachother for quite sometime and I refuse to let that happen to us. I will say what I need to just to ensure that everything is open. Anyways, enough about him. ^^
I sometimes purposely do things that will make me think about them 2 just to feel the smirk on my face.
Then there are the bad days. The days where I open up my box of memories and play the songs that make me cry and just fill myself with every down emotion, because I can. Because, even though they hurt, I want them to hurt more. I want them to hurt like me at that moment. Kris gets the worst of it, I think. I get so hate-filled and spiteful and just flatout angry. Lucky for those that fall in this catagory, this feeling has been settling now that I've been becoming okay with how everything is going.
It is time to sleep.