I felt it in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids

Jan 29, 2011 12:50

Who: Darc, Izaya & Vaarsuvius (Yes, we are VERY SORRY, this is the last one, we promise!!!)
When: Saturday - afternoon
Where: 29A > 29B > 29A
Summery: Panic, carbon dioxide poisoning and stoning
Warnings: Flipping out, language, panic, just yeah... FRIGGIN LONG ENTRY POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!



Air... the air was going out... Izaya thought it was his imagination in the beginning until he sensed Darc too was having difficulty breathing. Fuck. Fuck. Not the air... not... please... His mind wouldn’t rest - even when it was no longer thinking coherently - it kept straying towards ominous thoughts, always death. Always him dying. Air was running out... he was dying. He could feel his chest grow heavy as it became increasingly difficult to breathe. Can’t die... can’t die... air... need air... can’t... can’t can’t.... can’t! The dizziness he had been feeling was gradually becoming worse, he could feel his head pulsing from the lack of oxygen. Izaya gripped onto Darc’s coat, his condition getting progressively worse as he struggled to stay awake, to not drift away and... and... …..die, “....stay awake...stay awake...can’t... can’t die... can’t die....can’t...stay awake....." He was kept awake by his own breathing, painful breathing as his lungs became contaminated by excess carbon dioxide. Pain that he welcomed in return of being awake... and alive...

Darc, too, was feeling the lack of oxygen by this point; he felt plagued by nausea and dizziness, his head spinning a little despite the fact that the two of them were curled up on the bed almost unmoving, desperately trying to conserve body heat. His chest felt tight and his breathing was shallow and laboured; the air was definitely running out, and there was simply no way they could survive without air. It seemed as though the worst case scenario was about to be realised, and he felt the very first stirrings of real panic himself, though he kept any of it from showing on his face...it was becoming increasingly obvious to him that Izaya wasn’t coping with this, and he didn’t want to make things worse for him. Still...the panic was creeping in...he’d said he would protect him, that he wouldn’t let either of them die, and it seemed as though yet again he was going to fail them.

‘Shhh, you’re not gonna die...you’re not gonna die, alright?’ he lied through his teeth as he pulled Izaya a little closer to him, beyond caring about physical contact between them by now...it seemed a stupid thing to be concerned with, given the circumstances...

He wanted to believe him, he wanted to so badly that he didn’t care if he was lying. He nodded, clinging closer to him, wanting to feel secure, to know that someone was going to keep him safe, keep him alive. ”...don’t want to die.... Darc...I...don’t want to die... please... please... don’t let me die...” Izaya’s voice was small and weak. His hold onto Darc’s coat was weakening, his body could no longer bear the excess carbon dioxide in his system. Everything, every single part of himself felt like they were in extreme pain and he struggled so hard to keep himself steady as he shuddered involuntarily. Pain... feel the pain... feel it, don’t stop... don’t stop hurting... feeling... is being...alive...stay alive....can’t die, can’t die... can’t die... can’t can’t can’t can’t can’t.

Darc could feel it too; the gradual weakening of his body, the heaviness he felt in his limbs and the ever-encroaching fatigue that threatened to drag him down into the depths of unconsciousness like a lead weight. He was almost tempted to let it, there was little point in continuing when all that remained to them was this empty blackness and a cold so deep it permeated right to his very core. But there was Izaya to think about...he’d promised, and he didn’t want to let him down. The human was quite obviously terrified, and it made Darc’s own sense of panic escalate on seeing him like that; Izaya always seemed so calm and rational, his behaviour now was just further proof that their situation had reached a critical point. He could feel Izaya’s grip on him loosening, and he knew if he didn’t do something soon, he wouldn’t be in a position to move himself.

His mind felt sluggish and confused from the effects of the carbon dioxide, but from somewhere the flicker of a memory quite suddenly returned to him; his conversation with Vaarsuvius earlier in the week, concerning how the elf could turn people to stone; they’d still be living, in a way, but with no need for heat or food...or air. At the time it had sounded like an unpleasant alternative to real living, but anything was better than this, wasn’t it? Then having to watch Izaya slowly dying in his arms...and it was obvious the human would go first. Anything was worth a try right now...

‘Look...I have...I have an idea. I don’t know if you’ll like it but it’ll mean...it’ll mean we don’t need air anymore. I just...need to go and find someone...’ and he began attempting to extricate himself from Izaya’s weakening grip and the piles of blankets and extra clothing they’d encased themselves in.

Panic descended onto him the moment Darc suggested to leave his side. He couldn’t think anymore, it was all reflex as he shuddered violently trying to force himself to keep his grip onto Darc, to keep him with him. His safety. Darc had promised him. He will keep him safe. Keep him alive. He can’t leave. He can’t. He will die if Darc leaves. He needed him. Why? Why would he try to leave? Why?! Was he letting him die?! He can’t do that! Can’t! Won’t let him! Won’t! Keep him here! Keep him close.. Must. Not. Let. Darc. Leave. Natsu who was mewling periodically earlier began to mewl loudly, as if he could sense his owner’s time was near... “...no... no...don’t... don’t leave me... Don’t leave! Please....nooo... Please! Don’t... DON’T!!” Having forced himself to shout and worsening his lungs’ condition, he coughed hard. He tried his best, using all his strength to stop himself as he still tried to cling desperately onto Darc, tearing up as his body protested to his abuse.

Darc paused on being subjected to Izaya’s vehement protests, the other’s state of panic clearly rising exponentially at the thought of being left alone here. Darc supposed he couldn’t blame him, when all there seemed to be was darkness and cold, and the threat of certain death. No one wanted to die alone...Still...he couldn’t just lie here and wait for death to claim them, not when he’d promised, not when Izaya was this frightened. And Vaarsuvius...he felt certain the elf could help them, if he could just get to hir room...

‘Alright...alright, stop doing that. I’m not gonna leave you. But I have to get someone...to get help. I know a way we can stop this....just...bear with me,’ he intoned with some difficulty as he considered his options. It wouldn’t take much for him to shake off this human in his weakened state, even if his own body was also deeply effected, but the thought of leaving Izaya here, alone and terrified, was deeply repellent to him. He was going to have to take him with him. He grunted as he attempted to shift positions, hooking Izaya’s legs over one arm and supporting his back with the other. His body groaned almost audibly in protest as he dragged himself to his feet, moving himself and Izaya’s slight weight proving much harder than it should have been.

‘Thank fuck...that you’re so damned skinny...’ he forced out through tightly gritted teeth as he moved in the direction of the door.

He was relieved, he was beyond relieved when Darc said he won’t leave him. Perhaps it was his insecurity or he was just too intune to be distrustful in nature, Izaya swung his arms, painful as it may be to cling onto Darc the moment the other carried him. ”Don’t leave me...don’t leave me...I don’t want to die...” It was pathetic, he knew. Him, Orihara Izaya, who were so used to playing God, messing up people’s life just to satisfy his own curiosity and his limitless boredom that only continued to expand as his love for humanity grow over time, was afraid to cease existing. Afraid. So very afraid. Of it. Death. He had been in multiple danger, but never this close to his fear... He was intelligent and cunning enough to cheat death so many times, always making sure he had his ways out planned out. Always ahead of others. Always planning far and safe. He was content to stay out of harm’s way, only to be dragged to this accursed facility, to be experimented on. And now, left here in harsh cold and darkness for death to claim him. Had he fallen...?

”...valhalla...valhalla..need to go to...not...not...death...can’t...die....” He repeated those words continuously, as if it was a charm that would allow him what little hold he had on his fleeting life. Izaya buried his face into Darc’s chest as he began to cry, feeling desolated and lost for the first time in his entire life...

Darc pulled Izaya close to his chest as he all-but staggered from the room, as much to keep him still as to keep them both warm, hoping that the solid feel of his body beneath the other’s fragile grip would be enough to offer him some form of comfort, to try and keep him calm. ‘I’m not gonna leave you....you’re not gonna die. Just keep still...’

He was beginning to feel sightly panicked himself as the older male descended into what sounded to him like incoherent rambling. Had he left this too late? He couldn’t let him die, not when he’d promised to keep him safe...he should have done this sooner...his own head was spinning dangerously as he exited the room, the short distance from there to room B seeming to stretch out unreasonably far as he struggled to keep moving, to keep his grip on the human in his arms. He’d never imagined himself doing this...doing everything in his power to keep a human alive....it just showed how much had changed since he’d arrived at the facility...but it increasingly seemed that all this progress and self-revelation would be for nothing...

Finally, he reached Vaarsuvius’ door and kicked it hard several times, not trusting himself to try and knock with his fist when his hold on Izaya was so precarious. He leaned heavily against the door frame whilst he waited, not even daring to think what he would do if the elf didn’t answer, or had already used the spell on hirself...

Darc
Izaya

darc, orihara izaya, vaarsuvius

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