Broken Pieces

[remnantmessiah]

Who: Kadaj and Mello
When: Shortly after Near's murder.
Where: An empty suite and a bathroom.
Summary: Mello called for Kadaj to come find him...
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Blood,nudity,angst,fluff...will update as necessary

Comments

[immerzweitbeste]

That touch was too gentle. Mello had been praying after talking to Kadaj, praying before his mind blacked out, praying even now, as he woke up. The touch was far too kind and careful, too loving, and Mello turned away from Kadaj tiredly, his body collapsing in the puddle of Beyond's blood. There was a lot; he distantly assumed that Beyond had been scrabbling at the door, fingernails scraping at the solid structure in his desperate attempt to get out and get medical attention before Mello's shot caused him to bleed to death.

He'd failed.

Mello vaguely registered the sticky mess around him, soaking into his hair and smearing what little clean skin he had left. Sickened for too many reasons, he closed his eyes and opened his mouth weakly, trying not to inhale that bitter, metallic scent he hated so much. Kadaj's presence, at this point, was hardly even known.

[remnantmessiah]

Kadaj could barely bring himself to react when Mello collapsed to his side, flopping over like something that was nearly lifeless. It made him cringe, the thickness of the blood as it stained his lover's hair making him want to wretch. He shivered and swallowed the urge, quickly leaning down to wrap his arms around Mello's middle, one hand cradling his head.

"Mello... please..." The Remnant had resigned himself to probably having to carry him out of here. He needed to get this blood off of him. It was soaking into his clothes too. Kadaj whined miserably, pressing a soft kiss to Mello's forehead and cradling him against his chest. He could feel rivulets of the thick blood running down his neck, into his jacket. It made him shiver unpleasantly.

"I'm here." He satisfied himself with that phrase and waited to see if Mello was any more coherent.

[immerzweitbeste]

"They didn't deserve it," Mello whispered, his voice raw and weak. "Neither of them. I'm not any better, but Near was the last one standing...he was killed because he won, because we won and it was him who was able to walk through the fire...Beyond killed him for being..."

Number one...

Mello shifted suddenly, twisting his body and burying his face in Kadaj's shoulder. He felt no better than Beyond, no better than Light, and he didn't feel as though he'd avenged Near. He felt like he'd betrayed every single one of the Wammy's Children, ten times over. A traitor. A liar. A hypocrite.

And Near was fucking dead.

"I'm tired," he said softly.

[remnantmessiah]

"I know... I know..." He whimpered miserably and halted his advance for a moment, just tightening his embrace and burying his face in Mello's blood-stained hair

[immerzweitbeste]

Mello didn't mind Kadaj moving him. For the briefest moment, he was reminded of his childhood, of his mother carrying him to bed, of the emergency workers carrying him from his blazing home, of the nuns who picked him up off the street corner and took him in, a feral child given another chance. Mello's eyes were closed, his breathing soft and even against Kadaj's chest. He nestled close, but when he felt Kadaj nudge a door open, he lifted his head weakly to see what was going on, and his limbs went completely rigid.

He didn't react to Kadaj peeling the blood-slicked leather off of him, but once the Remnant moved him towards the bathtub, Mello began to fight him, fear and anger blazing in his eyes.

"No. Get me the hell away from there!"

[remnantmessiah]

Kadaj cringed, weakly pushing against Mello as he fought him.

"I know, I know... just... please... You can't expect me to let you stay covered in... in his..." Kadaj shivered miserably.

He used his superior strength then, for the first time in a while. The Remnant didn't like using it against Mello; he wanted them to feel like equals when they were together. But he felt he had to this time, and groaned as he lifted the blonde into the tub, quickly moving to turn the shower head on, warm water diluting the coagulated blood as it rushed over them. Kadaj shed his own blood-drenched coat and sighed as he held Mello against his chest to keep him from flailing.

Kadaj hated seeing him like this. Mello was strong, stronger than he was...

"Mello... I'm sorry..."

[immerzweitbeste]

Mello snarled at Kadaj in pure rage when the Remnant began to prove once again that he could easily force Mello into any situation. The snarl became an angry whine when he was placed into the basin he now feared; he glanced to his side, eyes impossibly wide, and examined the edges of the bathtub as though to make sure there was no tiny, pale hand, no bloodstained white cloth, no dying successor...

Mello stopped fighting the moment the water started hitting him, and he kept his eyes half-open, wanting to close them and rest but wanting to watch the water just to make sure it was clear.

"He was the only part of me that was still alive, Kadaj," he murmured, his dull speech pattern slurred and hard to make out. "I died for him...I lived through him. If he's dead...Light won...Kira won."

[remnantmessiah]

"No... You're alive!He's not dead! He'll be back Mello, and we'll protect him this time. We'll protect our little brother." He whispered desperately

[immerzweitbeste]

Mello looked away, his head falling to rest on his right shoulder, his gaze tiredly aimed at the wall. He didn't know what Kadaj was saying, just that he was talking, and that was enough. As the Remnant's chatter continued, Mello closed his eyes and allowed himself the comfort of leaning back against the wall.

Then he heard that noise he dreaded so much, and opened them again to look at his crying companion. He wanted to reach out and tell Kadaj it'd be okay, but he couldn't. He knew Kadaj hated liars.

"My love," he managed, his voice shaking with pure exhaustion. He shivered mildly at Kadaj's touch, and it was only then that he raised a hand weakly to grasp Kadaj's fingers, moving them away from his scars and squeezing them gently. "Stay with me."

[remnantmessiah]

"Always." He murmured, and kicked his way out of his sopping leather pants and curled around his lover.

Kadaj stopped to wonder when it had happened that they were so comfortable with each other. They had spent so much time worshiping each other's bodies that it wasn't too much of a question of dignity at least.

The Remnant ran his free hand through Mello's hair, breaking up more of the coagulated mess and watching in silence as it washed clean. Nothing but untarnished gold was left behind, and that was a relief.

"My love..." He whispered softly. When he was sure the blood had rinsed away, Kadaj reached back and cut the flow of water. The Remnant pulled Mello closer to him and let out a shaky sigh, trying to stem the flow of tears.

[immerzweitbeste]

"H-hey," Mello said, and there was a ghost of his normal self in his tone, a hint of snide arrogance that was so very Mello slipping into his voice. "You're not allowed to cry if it's going to be okay, and you said it was going to be okay. So..."

He lifted a hand and put the side of his palm directly under Kadaj's left eye, brushing gentle fingertips over his cheek and through silver hair.

"Don't cry, okay?"

[remnantmessiah]

"S-sorry." He murmured.

It was so good to hear his lover's voice, almost strong, almost like it was usually. He sighed and nodded a bit, leaning against the touch of Mello's hand on his face. It was so comforting that he let his eyelids flutter shut for a moment and took a deep breath.

He hated being wet, but he didn't want to move, and Kadaj suddenly buried his face in Mello's shoulder. It was comforting, it was safe. The Remnant sighed and snaked his arms around the blonde's middle before leaning up to press a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. He looked at Mello, worry and the depths of whatever emotion it was that he evoked in him etched in aqua eyes.

"I love you... It will be okay. It will..." He wasn't sure, but he meant it with his entire heart. He hoped that Mello could feel it too.

Kadaj made a promise to himself then, to never let anyone hurt Near ever again.

[immerzweitbeste]

Mello twisted then, utterly exhausted to the point of wanting to simultaneously cry and pass out. He leaned his head on Kadaj's shoulder and closed his eyes. When he sighed again, a soft whimper caught in his throat, the last sign of weakness he'd allow himself to show.

"This place makes me feel alive again," he murmured, Near slowly fading from his mind as Kadaj's even pulse thrummed gently against his ear. "...thank you."

He opened his eyes halfway for a final check, just to make sure the water wasn't tainted red with the blood of his murdered rival, and then went still against Kadaj, lashes fluttering as his eyes slid closed. Near would be back. Until then, and past then, Mello had Kadaj.

He found that was all that truly mattered.