i feel like i wrote some inspirational shit>>>
i've been feeling like el crapo lately...
damn paranoid parents thought i had menagidous or however you spell that crazy ass word... did i ever mention i suck at spelling?
i just sat a read like 20 of micah's journals. i love that kid. miss that mother fucker too. good times in band class.... heehee!!
today i was sitting at home watching the Wiggles, cause i was sick and the Price Is Right wasn't on yet, and i was thinking...
"Emily, you're a pretty intellegent girl, pretty ambitious, what the fuck do you want to do with your life?"
then i said to myself--as i often do when i'm talkign to myself--
"you know, i have no fucking idea."
why do we care so much ayway? it was our fucking four fathers who started this worrying shit over 200 years ago. why do we have to have such ambitious little fuckers constantly trying to make they futures perfect when they're missing out on today.
why can't we just take it one day at a time? so many people complain about shit that's going on that's ruining our furture like 200 years from now they're fucking gunna be here or something. I'm no evniromentalists or politician, but i do have my morals and my beleifs. yeah littering is bad and polution fucks up the air, but i can't change what other people do about it. all i can worry about is what i can do. if i see a peice of trash, yeah i'll consider pickign it up, and i'll do my best to keep the air clean by carpooling or something And with the U.S. of fuckign A.'s government. what the fuck can i do. i disagree with half the shit they're doing and don't even understand the other half, and if behind the scenes the government hides 90% of the shit thats really going on, how the fuck am i going to make a difference? i can't even fuckin vote yet.
but anyway, i don't know what i was rattleing on about. the real point i was trying to get at is these little jerks aceing college courses at fucking 13 years old need to fuckin get laid. and these little fuckers getting high all the fuckign time and only thinking about how and when they're going to smoke their next bowl need to take some consideration about what the fuck their doing with their life. (i think i totally contradicted myself)
i've come to the realization that my utopia will never come around and i can't keep worrying about what i'm going to do 20 years from now, cause frankly, i might not be around. all i can do is take it one day at a time. i can't change the past and the future isn't here yet... so let's just see what happens.
i love people. i love life. i love me. i can't change people. i can't change God's plan for life. but with god's help i change me.
but really, i don't know if i want to change me. being me has gotten me to this place, a loving friend, an honest daughter, a compasionate girlfriend, but best of all one of God's beautiful children.
what i've learned the past few months is to just be. just be. frustration, despair, bewilderment, and all the seven deadly sins will come into life, but i can't worry about avoiding them. cause without them, the good wouldn't be so great. the great wouldn't be so fantastic. the fantastic wouldn't be so fucking terrific!!! just be. life will come, there's no way to avoid it, and you can't dwell on your mistakes, you can only change them into lessons and grow and mature from them. don't take the easy way out of everything either. once you complete the hard shit, it's so much more rewarding in the end.
just keep it simple and BE! let life take it's course and learn some cool shit along the way.
damn paranoid parents thought i had menagidous or however you spell that crazy ass word... did i ever mention i suck at spelling?
i just sat a read like 20 of micah's journals. i love that kid. miss that mother fucker too. good times in band class.... heehee!!
today i was sitting at home watching the Wiggles, cause i was sick and the Price Is Right wasn't on yet, and i was thinking...
"Emily, you're a pretty intellegent girl, pretty ambitious, what the fuck do you want to do with your life?"
then i said to myself--as i often do when i'm talkign to myself--
"you know, i have no fucking idea."
why do we care so much ayway? it was our fucking four fathers who started this worrying shit over 200 years ago. why do we have to have such ambitious little fuckers constantly trying to make they futures perfect when they're missing out on today.
why can't we just take it one day at a time? so many people complain about shit that's going on that's ruining our furture like 200 years from now they're fucking gunna be here or something. I'm no evniromentalists or politician, but i do have my morals and my beleifs. yeah littering is bad and polution fucks up the air, but i can't change what other people do about it. all i can worry about is what i can do. if i see a peice of trash, yeah i'll consider pickign it up, and i'll do my best to keep the air clean by carpooling or something And with the U.S. of fuckign A.'s government. what the fuck can i do. i disagree with half the shit they're doing and don't even understand the other half, and if behind the scenes the government hides 90% of the shit thats really going on, how the fuck am i going to make a difference? i can't even fuckin vote yet.
but anyway, i don't know what i was rattleing on about. the real point i was trying to get at is these little jerks aceing college courses at fucking 13 years old need to fuckin get laid. and these little fuckers getting high all the fuckign time and only thinking about how and when they're going to smoke their next bowl need to take some consideration about what the fuck their doing with their life. (i think i totally contradicted myself)
i've come to the realization that my utopia will never come around and i can't keep worrying about what i'm going to do 20 years from now, cause frankly, i might not be around. all i can do is take it one day at a time. i can't change the past and the future isn't here yet... so let's just see what happens.
i love people. i love life. i love me. i can't change people. i can't change God's plan for life. but with god's help i change me.
but really, i don't know if i want to change me. being me has gotten me to this place, a loving friend, an honest daughter, a compasionate girlfriend, but best of all one of God's beautiful children.
what i've learned the past few months is to just be. just be. frustration, despair, bewilderment, and all the seven deadly sins will come into life, but i can't worry about avoiding them. cause without them, the good wouldn't be so great. the great wouldn't be so fantastic. the fantastic wouldn't be so fucking terrific!!! just be. life will come, there's no way to avoid it, and you can't dwell on your mistakes, you can only change them into lessons and grow and mature from them. don't take the easy way out of everything either. once you complete the hard shit, it's so much more rewarding in the end.
just keep it simple and BE! let life take it's course and learn some cool shit along the way.