Office Etiquette
Ok, here’s a new era. I promise to only use my blog for the powers of good. Also for amusing myself whenever I see fit. I can’t promise I’ll update regularly, but when I do, I’ll try to make it worthwhile.
So let’s talk about office etiquette. I’ve discovered that its commonplace in an office setting to say “Hello” to every Tom, Dick, and Susan (being PC) that you see in the hallway. This annoys me to no end. The hallway is not a place to make friends. I mean seriously, what am I going to get out of all of this?
Nothing. Nada.
Now if I actually know you, then of course I’ll say hi. I’ll say hi because I probably like you, and I’m making an effort to be friendly. But chances are if I don’t know you, I probably don’t like you. Maybe you smell. Maybe you have crap stuck in your teeth.
Now I should elaborate, I won’t say hi to you because I’m being mean, I’m doing it for your sake. Do you really need another hallway friend? One more person you’ve got to look up at and fake a smile to? I’m sure you’ve got better things on your mind than me. Maybe you’re thinking about what you need to TiVo later. Maybe you’re still reminding yourself that it was a bad idea to have 6 shots of Jager in 40 min. and lift your top at the bar. Actually, that’s a good idea. Unless you’re my girlfriend, and then it’s an even worse idea.
Point is, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other things to do than to try and placate me. I mean I’m really not going to go running back to my cubicle in tears if someone doesn’t acknowledge that I exist. Hell, if that’s your problem, you really shouldn’t be working for anything other than a Mom ‘n’ Pop operation.
This can change though. If you really feel compelled to say something to every person/inanimate object you see in the hall, you might as well make it worthwhile. Talk about how my shoes are talking to me. Maybe make an offhand joke about me being cheap. I’ll laugh, I swear. Talk about the weather to me. Tell me you hate your wife. But you’re not going to talk like that to a total stranger are you? Nah, that’s way too much work, and you’ve got TiVo programming on the brain.
Also, check out my friend Mike's blog at http://mikewantsagamejob.libsyn.com/