flowers and house and stuffs

[a_bleeding_rose]

Spent the weekend planting flowers and enjoying myself in the garden. Loaded up on plants and seeds at Bachman's on Saturday with my mom, planted some, and then did the rest on Sunday. While I was working my back felt fine. It was after I was all done and had rested for awhile that I seemed to lose all strength from my legs, and then when that finally returned was just full of extra aches and pains. So, good side, bad side, I guess. I wish I were better. My heart did wonky things Sunday night, after my meds and, possibly the heat and God knows what else, made me dizzy and caused me to black out on the kitchen floor. That spiraled me down into a suicidal depression I've been fighting for most of the week, and it all came out in a torrent of self hatred and misery, kind of ruining my awesome day... but not quite. Every time I go out and look at my gardens I smile and they make me happy and I feel a little accomplishment, despite all the pain, so it was worth it, I think.
I had to cancel my chiropractor appointment for this week because of transportation issues. I'm really concerned that this could set my recovery back, again, but there just wasn't anything I could do. He was completely booked the rest of the week. So, I'm trying very hard to make sure I walk as straight as I can, but it's devilishly hard. I grow more and more certain that surgery is unavoidable, but I'm hoping Dr. Andy can at least make me straight again before that time comes.
I'm possibly going to have a new roof put on the house. I need to call the guy back, but apparently we've got some pretty significant hail damage, and if the insurance will cover it, I can have it done. The housemate and I talked it over and we both think it's a good idea. I just need to get up the energy to call the guy and deal with it... and that's hard right now. *sighs*