(no subject)
it's not just the brush off.. it's a lot of things.. a lot of you think i can't be on my own.. but i'm clearly still alive and kicking [harder than i have in a long time].. but it wouldn't be as bad if all that shit hadn't happened.. sure i'd be hard up n shit.. but it wasn't that.. it wasn't that at all.. i'm having fun-- really i am.. i'm hanging out with more people than i have in a long ass time and it's fucking awesome.. and it's bad as hell to have jamie here [for a while at least], and eros fridays with claudia rocks my socks.. but at the end of the day i just want someone's hand to hold.. someone to talk to.. and [brace yourselves] someone to hold me.. [eeeew that was way over the top]
this is all very sappy, but what can i say? underneath my tough girl exterior i'm all jello pudding ;)
god i haven't had pudding in long fucking time..
anyway, what was i talking about? oh, right.. being alone sucks.. it was cool for a while, i was all crazy n shit.. so i'm still crazy, but not in the same way.. i was like, freshly single and all about everything and going out and blah blah.. now it's fuckin' old.. i have no problem going to the bar to hang out with friends or whatever, but i'm not about to be looking for someone to hold an intelligent conversation with there.. i'm trying to just let loose and not care about it.. and i'd probably have been able to way better than i can at this point.. it's hard when life is like "hey, look! ohh OHH-- just kidding!!" un-funny man.. seriously, un-funny..
i want to run around summer nights and play on playgrounds.. i want to walk around the city like we used to and take pictures.. i want to go hang out at the art institute and the museum of science and industry.. i want to stumble upon operas in grant park and sit beside the river serenading the open air.. i want to take walks in the rain.. i want to drive around late at night discovering new music and singing along to the stuff we know.. i want piggy back rides.. i want ice cream and the zoo..
dude.. i suck at being alone..
okay, i'm done being stupid [for] now..
this is all very sappy, but what can i say? underneath my tough girl exterior i'm all jello pudding ;)
god i haven't had pudding in long fucking time..
anyway, what was i talking about? oh, right.. being alone sucks.. it was cool for a while, i was all crazy n shit.. so i'm still crazy, but not in the same way.. i was like, freshly single and all about everything and going out and blah blah.. now it's fuckin' old.. i have no problem going to the bar to hang out with friends or whatever, but i'm not about to be looking for someone to hold an intelligent conversation with there.. i'm trying to just let loose and not care about it.. and i'd probably have been able to way better than i can at this point.. it's hard when life is like "hey, look! ohh OHH-- just kidding!!" un-funny man.. seriously, un-funny..
i want to run around summer nights and play on playgrounds.. i want to walk around the city like we used to and take pictures.. i want to go hang out at the art institute and the museum of science and industry.. i want to stumble upon operas in grant park and sit beside the river serenading the open air.. i want to take walks in the rain.. i want to drive around late at night discovering new music and singing along to the stuff we know.. i want piggy back rides.. i want ice cream and the zoo..
dude.. i suck at being alone..
okay, i'm done being stupid [for] now..