The Art of Doing What We Love
I may have blogged about this before, but it's come up again for me, so may as well write about my favorite hot topic.
Of late, I've had several conversations with friends and colleagues about this notion of doing what you love come hell or high water. Some have said that's all bosh, and a dangerous, irresponsible notion to boot. Some have said that it's vital to not only our personal well-being but to our world's. I'm of this latter persuasion.
It's made for some interesting conversations, and a few ideas have come up repeatedly.
The interesting thing about the bosh-sayers is it seems they're often us. They're all the voices in our head telling us we can't draw, or design, or write, or sing, or program, or game design, or practice medicine, or whatever it is we hold as the dream in our hearts. It's the dream that we take out and look at only ever so often, to pet as if it were a wee precious kitten before shoving it back in its box in the closet for another year. They're all the voices of doubt and diminishment telling us that we're not smart enough, or pretty enough, or good enough, or wise enough, or rich enough, or thin enough, or talented enough to reach for the dream, let alone deserve it. They tell us why we absolutely, unequivocally can't.
The voices lie.
It seems to me that they're the voices of fear, not truth. And that's really a tragedy, because our dreams are usually linked to our unique gifts, and I believe our gifts are vitally needed in this often emotionally and artistically impoverished world. We all know what happens when fear rules our politics, our education, and our religions, so why, as individuals, do we let it have so much sway in our daily living?
I can only speak for myself, truly, but all the things I feel I can't ever do or be or experience tend to be roadblocked by myself first, and others secondarily. I hear old voices in my head saying I can't or I shouldn't, and instead of taking the kitten out of the closet, giving it fresh air, good food, clean water and love, I buy into the voices, which are horribly, nastily insidious, and let the dream starve.
At the risk of sounding obnoxiously self-congratulatory, I'd like to say I'm learning to do better with nurturing my dreams. Right now I'm doing pretty darn well with a couple of them, and am watching those little kittens grown up to be sleek-as-butter lions. But it's a slow process, and I constantly have to give the finger to the voices of doubt and diminishment ... or tell them kindly, "Thanks for worrying about me but, seriously, fuck off," then dig into why I have them in the first place. They're an opportunity for healing, which I'm always grateful for.
So that was the first step: giving myself permission to do this thing (or things) despite any and all of the naysayers. It was also a realization that my happiness in this life isn't going to drop on me like a winning lottery ticket (though I still wouldn't mind getting one of those!), or from some other agency/person. I have to make it work myself, and want it enough to make it work. I can share with others, and they with me, but I have to take responsibility for my own life and state of happiness. And frankly, depending on anyone else to fill the vacancy left by our closeted dreams seems to me to be unfair to both parties. Vastly unfair, really. And ill-making.
So, this is what I've been asking the people in my life lately: If you absolutely didn't have to worry about the money thing (like we do), or about disappointing anyone else (like we totally do), what is it you'd be doing with your life? What is it that sets you off like a firecracker and makes you sparkle inside? What makes you eager to be out of bed and doing in the morning? What is it you've always always always longed to do? Write it down. And if you don't yet know, start figuring it out.
What is the first, small thing you can do today to open the door to the closet, and leave it open? How can you feed the kitten? Cause the more we walk our dream, the more the money will show up to support it. And the more we are happy, the more those around us will be empowered to find their own happiness. And that's a win-win for everyone.
I'd really love to know. What is your dream? And what's the first thing you can do to nurture it?
Of late, I've had several conversations with friends and colleagues about this notion of doing what you love come hell or high water. Some have said that's all bosh, and a dangerous, irresponsible notion to boot. Some have said that it's vital to not only our personal well-being but to our world's. I'm of this latter persuasion.
It's made for some interesting conversations, and a few ideas have come up repeatedly.
The interesting thing about the bosh-sayers is it seems they're often us. They're all the voices in our head telling us we can't draw, or design, or write, or sing, or program, or game design, or practice medicine, or whatever it is we hold as the dream in our hearts. It's the dream that we take out and look at only ever so often, to pet as if it were a wee precious kitten before shoving it back in its box in the closet for another year. They're all the voices of doubt and diminishment telling us that we're not smart enough, or pretty enough, or good enough, or wise enough, or rich enough, or thin enough, or talented enough to reach for the dream, let alone deserve it. They tell us why we absolutely, unequivocally can't.
The voices lie.
It seems to me that they're the voices of fear, not truth. And that's really a tragedy, because our dreams are usually linked to our unique gifts, and I believe our gifts are vitally needed in this often emotionally and artistically impoverished world. We all know what happens when fear rules our politics, our education, and our religions, so why, as individuals, do we let it have so much sway in our daily living?
I can only speak for myself, truly, but all the things I feel I can't ever do or be or experience tend to be roadblocked by myself first, and others secondarily. I hear old voices in my head saying I can't or I shouldn't, and instead of taking the kitten out of the closet, giving it fresh air, good food, clean water and love, I buy into the voices, which are horribly, nastily insidious, and let the dream starve.
At the risk of sounding obnoxiously self-congratulatory, I'd like to say I'm learning to do better with nurturing my dreams. Right now I'm doing pretty darn well with a couple of them, and am watching those little kittens grown up to be sleek-as-butter lions. But it's a slow process, and I constantly have to give the finger to the voices of doubt and diminishment ... or tell them kindly, "Thanks for worrying about me but, seriously, fuck off," then dig into why I have them in the first place. They're an opportunity for healing, which I'm always grateful for.
So that was the first step: giving myself permission to do this thing (or things) despite any and all of the naysayers. It was also a realization that my happiness in this life isn't going to drop on me like a winning lottery ticket (though I still wouldn't mind getting one of those!), or from some other agency/person. I have to make it work myself, and want it enough to make it work. I can share with others, and they with me, but I have to take responsibility for my own life and state of happiness. And frankly, depending on anyone else to fill the vacancy left by our closeted dreams seems to me to be unfair to both parties. Vastly unfair, really. And ill-making.
So, this is what I've been asking the people in my life lately: If you absolutely didn't have to worry about the money thing (like we do), or about disappointing anyone else (like we totally do), what is it you'd be doing with your life? What is it that sets you off like a firecracker and makes you sparkle inside? What makes you eager to be out of bed and doing in the morning? What is it you've always always always longed to do? Write it down. And if you don't yet know, start figuring it out.
What is the first, small thing you can do today to open the door to the closet, and leave it open? How can you feed the kitten? Cause the more we walk our dream, the more the money will show up to support it. And the more we are happy, the more those around us will be empowered to find their own happiness. And that's a win-win for everyone.
I'd really love to know. What is your dream? And what's the first thing you can do to nurture it?