"UPDATE!! Apparently nobody gives a shit, so fuck him!"
Just thought I'd follow up on my last post as things seem to be turning around a little...
Unfortunately, I had to stop taking my beta-blockers as I had a pretty bad reaction to them. So as of right now, and for the past 3 weeks or so, I haven't been on ANY medication at all. I'm considering starting my course of Citalopram but I don't wanna rush into it as I don't know everything about it yet. I would rather do research on it before I start taking it as it is a completely different drug to Propranolol. I've generally been feeling better recently, although still feeling anxious a lot of the time, just not anxious enough to really have any full blown panic attacks. I'm learning how to control it simply by breathing exercises and also speech therapy. It's hard but I'm getting there.
As far as my overall health goes, I'm still feeling a bit shitty, but not as bad as I was at the peak of my anxiety (I can safely say it cannot get worse than it has been in the past). Still been having problems with sleep...some nights I don't get any, some I get maybe 5 hours tops and once or twice a week, I manage to get anywhere up to 12 hours. I've always been like that but it feels like I'm struggling with it now. Just can't seem to get it sorted, but it will hopefully sort itself out once I make a routine for myself.
My weight hasn't really declined any since my last post, although I've had a pretty big loss of appetite over the past couple of weeks. That's something I have to deal with slowly, but I'm sure I'll be able to sort it out soon enough. Managed to get a decent enough feed yesterday so it's a good start.
I didn't mention this in my last post because I didn't really think it related to anything, but it may very well. I've had ongoing neck issues which I am finally getting around to getting checked out. I'm going for an x-ray on it this week which will set my mind at ease, whether it's good news or not (at least I'll know what's wrong, if anything). I also discovered a lump/spot on my head which concerned me quite a bit. Turns out it's a cyst but the doctor didn't seem too concerned about it. Told me to come back if it got bigger so I could get it removed.
College is pretty much done for me. I've not done enough to pass...however, I've been told that I can still apply for the full-time HND course and should receive funding no bother since the head of the Music Department, Neil, thinks I've got a lot of potential and knows I'm passionate about it. The good news outweighs the bad :) Gonna go in and talk to him this week to see what I've to do.
Money is still a bit of a problem. Spent all my money within the first 13 days of getting it this month, but most of it was on gigs. Went to see KISS and Fozzy this month and they were both unbelievable :) I've missed going to gigs because of my anxiety, but it's more because of the travelling than actually being there. It's all good though...going to both of those gigs were major steps for me. It's something I've missed doing and hopefully there are more to come.
Haven't gambled at all since my last post (apart from the occassional shot in the puggy now and again, but that doesn't count :P). Was gonna try and give up smoking too. It's gonna be a lot harder now that I'm back on the drink but I'm gonna cut down gradually and hopefully manage to cut down to just one a day by the end of August. Will definitely have a positive effect on my appetite anyway!
The love/relationships thing...I'm not saying a word :P
I like doughnuts :)
Unfortunately, I had to stop taking my beta-blockers as I had a pretty bad reaction to them. So as of right now, and for the past 3 weeks or so, I haven't been on ANY medication at all. I'm considering starting my course of Citalopram but I don't wanna rush into it as I don't know everything about it yet. I would rather do research on it before I start taking it as it is a completely different drug to Propranolol. I've generally been feeling better recently, although still feeling anxious a lot of the time, just not anxious enough to really have any full blown panic attacks. I'm learning how to control it simply by breathing exercises and also speech therapy. It's hard but I'm getting there.
As far as my overall health goes, I'm still feeling a bit shitty, but not as bad as I was at the peak of my anxiety (I can safely say it cannot get worse than it has been in the past). Still been having problems with sleep...some nights I don't get any, some I get maybe 5 hours tops and once or twice a week, I manage to get anywhere up to 12 hours. I've always been like that but it feels like I'm struggling with it now. Just can't seem to get it sorted, but it will hopefully sort itself out once I make a routine for myself.
My weight hasn't really declined any since my last post, although I've had a pretty big loss of appetite over the past couple of weeks. That's something I have to deal with slowly, but I'm sure I'll be able to sort it out soon enough. Managed to get a decent enough feed yesterday so it's a good start.
I didn't mention this in my last post because I didn't really think it related to anything, but it may very well. I've had ongoing neck issues which I am finally getting around to getting checked out. I'm going for an x-ray on it this week which will set my mind at ease, whether it's good news or not (at least I'll know what's wrong, if anything). I also discovered a lump/spot on my head which concerned me quite a bit. Turns out it's a cyst but the doctor didn't seem too concerned about it. Told me to come back if it got bigger so I could get it removed.
College is pretty much done for me. I've not done enough to pass...however, I've been told that I can still apply for the full-time HND course and should receive funding no bother since the head of the Music Department, Neil, thinks I've got a lot of potential and knows I'm passionate about it. The good news outweighs the bad :) Gonna go in and talk to him this week to see what I've to do.
Money is still a bit of a problem. Spent all my money within the first 13 days of getting it this month, but most of it was on gigs. Went to see KISS and Fozzy this month and they were both unbelievable :) I've missed going to gigs because of my anxiety, but it's more because of the travelling than actually being there. It's all good though...going to both of those gigs were major steps for me. It's something I've missed doing and hopefully there are more to come.
Haven't gambled at all since my last post (apart from the occassional shot in the puggy now and again, but that doesn't count :P). Was gonna try and give up smoking too. It's gonna be a lot harder now that I'm back on the drink but I'm gonna cut down gradually and hopefully manage to cut down to just one a day by the end of August. Will definitely have a positive effect on my appetite anyway!
The love/relationships thing...I'm not saying a word :P
I like doughnuts :)