Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday...
Dude, life is good.
Or at least, this could so totally be worse. I have the whole network with the nurses happening, I totally have whatever I want while I'm stuck here. Plus I've got Alex making visits when she's not busy for naughty time stuff. This isn't so bad ( Read more... )
Or at least, this could so totally be worse. I have the whole network with the nurses happening, I totally have whatever I want while I'm stuck here. Plus I've got Alex making visits when she's not busy for naughty time stuff. This isn't so bad ( Read more... )
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Dude, the cell phone's ringing. Interrupting the all-Madsen-because-Madsen-is-totally-trying-not-to-be-down-concert is not cool at all. Seriously. I grabbed the phone, and checked it.
"'Cause Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know, so don't tell Scotty, Scotty doesn't knoooowwwww... DON'T TELL SCOTTY!"
I was going to keep going and totally ignore it, when I saw who it was. Dude, since when does the Snowflake call me? Over anything? Ever? Something happen? Or is this totally one of those 'I'm calling to give you enough time to eat your last meal' deals because of Alex ( ... )
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I know I have a million things to worry about other than killing Madsen, but if I did it, it sure as hell wouldn't be uncalled for. He's moving in on my best friend, just like he did in high school. High school, also known as the period of my relationship with Sam where Madsen tried to keep us apart. I'll never forgive him for that, and if I want to laugh in his face or beat him dead after everything he put me through, it's justified ( ... )
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... Huh?
"Whoa, dude, back up. What?" I sat up a bit more in bed, trying to figure out what the hell that was supposed to be. Sammy has a dead girlfriend? And she's alive? ... Is this the Natasha chick?
... SHE DUMPED HIM?!
"I uh, I do this thing.... It's like a power. A healing power. I can fix your leg for you if you want."
Dude, we have totally entered the Twilight Zone. This is crazy shit. Now she's offering to heal me with a power thing. Or she's coming to bring me my doom to make me feel better because she totally dumped Sammy. Why the hell did she dump Sammy?
I am totally confused, this is not cool.
"Yeah, uh... okay." I have no idea what to say, dude. "When're you going to be here?" I totally don't get this crazy shit.
The Snowflake's gone mental.
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"Natasha. The dead blonde chick. Not so dead. Really blonde."
If the rest of it wasn't a slap in the face, the hair color would be enough on it's owns. She's polite, she's alive, she thinks my baby is cute, and she's a blonde. I have multiple reasons to hate her, the least of which is that she's the reason why I'm not with Sam right now instead of cowering in fear in my car, at the hospital of all god damn places. If I were an intelligent slayer I'd use my abilities to make good on the assumption everyone had that she'd met her maker.
Sam would be unhappy about that though, so I could never get away with it. Unless I lied, and that would make me dishonest. I'm supposed to be teaching my daughter values. Killing someone and lying about it wouldn't be a very good thing. No matter how tempting the ass kicking is.
"Yeah, uh... okay. When're you going to be here?""I'm in my car, in parking lot. Julia's with me ( ... )
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Okay then, why isn't she up here? So she can explain to me all this crazy shit and fix my leg? And dude, it would have been so much better if she decided to do this shit after the competition. What the hell am I supposed to do now? It's just not cool.
All of the sudden now she's got a freaky healing power thing, and she broke up with Sammy, and the Natasha chick's alive, and... Dude.
I would have a freak out if it was all happening to me. I wonder how Sammy's dealing.
"But... I'm really afraid of hospitals. You're going to have to keep me distracted."
Dude, I don't know if that's totally great or totally weird. "Distracted how?"
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Make her mad?
But, dude, if she comes up here and she's all mad, she's totally gonna kill me even if she wasn't thinking about it the first place. I mean, I can totally piss this chick off. It isn't hard, especially for me.
Why can't she just have the freak out over getting up here and just do it? Dude, this isn't fair.
"Okay, but you have to promise you're totally not gonna hit me after."
I sighed and thought about what would get at her most. "Uh... I don't know." Oh, wait. I have something. "Alex and I went on a date." I wonder if Sammy told her about this part already. "We went to the movies. It was actually pretty cool. No sex or anything. I really like her."
Dude, I do. And I think she likes me too. And that was probably not the cool thing to do, since it's true and I can't say I was making all that shit up.
Oh well, it's what she wanted dude.
Even if I'm totally going to die over it.
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"No way in hell."
Madsen is supposed to distract me, but if anything he says is something I can use against him in order to beat him, I'm going to. It's as simple as that. As simple as him being stupid and me attempting to regain the upper hand on a situation I really hate. And being stuck with him in my life is just...ugh.
"Uh... I don't know. Alex and I went on a date. We went to the movies. It was actually pretty cool. No sex or anything. I really like her."
I think I want to fucking murder this bastard. I mean, I'm moving in his direction anyway, I might as well, while I'm there. I could have Julia wait outside with a friendly nurse.
He LIKES her? It was bad enough when he was having sex with her! I'm never, ever talking to Alex again. It's her fault. Hers and his. And I won't have to talk to him anymore after this because Sam isn't going to want to be with me after he spends some time with Natasha, so I don't have to dwell on this. I don't ( ... )
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Do I care? Am I being logical right now? Am I ever being logical? No. So I don't care that I told him to. I was vauge. He took it too far. Now I want to strangle him. I have motivation to get up there so that I can strangle him. Or better yet, I'll smother him with a pillow. Julia would think it was a game. She'd laugh. I bet she wouldn't even know I killed him until Sam was old enough to explain to her that Mommy went to jail for manslaughter. If he didn't have her calling Natasha 'Mommy' by then.
Shit. I have to stay out of jail. Getting arrested would make it all too easy on that bitch, and why did they leave that person in their bed in the middle of the hallway? Are they...
Not going to think about it.
"Okay, so, what was the Natasha chick like? Was she nicer than you or something? That it?"
"No! You fucking asshole. She was blonde. And foreign. And she kept trying to be sweet about my daughter ( ... )
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Dude, that sounds so horrible. Except totally not. She's so totally jealous, and she dumped Sammy over it. She's being crazier than usual, and I'm totally the one fearing for my life because of it. With a broken leg.
Not. Cool.
"She was not nicer than me. She was nothing like me!""Okay, okay. I was just asking." Totally doing what you wanted, Psycho Snowflake. What am I supposed to say? Just get up the stairs and get here already. Seriously. "So then if she's nothing like you, and Sammy obviously picked you, what'd you dump him for ( ... )
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That makes it sound like she totally had every reason. "No dude, not alright." I couldn't help it. This is my best friend we're talking about here, it's totally my job to get this way. Sammy doesn't deserve to be dumped, not with how much he loves The Snowflake.
I mean, I don't see why, but Sammy's got his own tastes. Totally up to him. Even if it's sorta crazy.
"Because the only thing I've heard since Sam came back is how he's never leaving me again. He promised. Repeatedly."
How does that have anything to do with anything?
"I don't want him to be stuck for the rest of his life because he's afraid to go back on his word."... Okay. She sort of has a point on that one. But it's still total bull. It's a pointless point. Flat out. I would so be having a freak out if I wasn't in a hospital bed, she's being that totally lame ( ... )
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"She was kissing him when I walked in."
He didn't look so past it with his mouth on the blonde. I mean, maybe it wasn't all him. Maybe she caught him off guard or something, but Sam being different now doesn't mean he's past her. He stopped drinking and had a baby with me. Those are life changes, but I don't see how they'd ever touch his feelings for her. And if she cared enough to come back, Natasha definitely wants Sam for herself. She's made that very, very clear. If Sam would rather be with Natasha, then it's not fair to either of us to keep pretending he's happy with me ( ... )
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"... Oh." Well, shit. That doesn't mean anything dude, seriously. She was kissing him. Totally does not mean Sammy was kissing her. And since I know Sammy's totally not like that to start kissing back or anything, that means he totally was too caught off gaurd to do anything about it.
Well, dude, if I saw an ex girlfriend chick that was supposed to be dead showing up at my door? I totally wouldn't know what to do. I don't think that Sammy can be blamed on this one.
"You want to tell me that this is it for him? That's fine."
I totally cannot believe she's pulling this shit. What a crazy Snowflake.
"I want him to tell me that after he's had time to see what he'd be giving up.""Whatever." I looked up as she walked in, and flipped my phone shut. Yeah, she's pissed at me, but it's totally what she wanted. And I'm pretty sure she's not going to hit me with her kid in the room. Kinda ( ... )
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