Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday...
Dude, life is good.
Or at least, this could so totally be worse. I have the whole network with the nurses happening, I totally have whatever I want while I'm stuck here. Plus I've got Alex making visits when she's not busy for naughty time stuff. This isn't so bad ( Read more... )
Or at least, this could so totally be worse. I have the whole network with the nurses happening, I totally have whatever I want while I'm stuck here. Plus I've got Alex making visits when she's not busy for naughty time stuff. This isn't so bad ( Read more... )
I know I have a million things to worry about other than killing Madsen, but if I did it, it sure as hell wouldn't be uncalled for. He's moving in on my best friend, just like he did in high school. High school, also known as the period of my relationship with Sam where Madsen tried to keep us apart. I'll never forgive him for that, and if I want to laugh in his face or beat him dead after everything he put me through, it's justified.
I bet he'll be happy to know he doesn't have to worry about Sam being with me anymore. Broken leg or not, that has to be a real picker upper.
"I'm not." I sighed. "Sam's dead girlfriend is alive so I broke up with him."
And that might not seem like it has very much to do with this, but it does. I need to behave myself if I want my boyfriend back. I really, really can't afford to have Sam think Natasha is better because I'm the bitch of the two.
Even if I am.
"I uh, I do this thing...." How the hell do you explain something like this to a dumbass? "It's like a power. A healing power. I can fix your leg for you if you want."
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... Huh?
"Whoa, dude, back up. What?" I sat up a bit more in bed, trying to figure out what the hell that was supposed to be. Sammy has a dead girlfriend? And she's alive? ... Is this the Natasha chick?
... SHE DUMPED HIM?!
"I uh, I do this thing.... It's like a power. A healing power. I can fix your leg for you if you want."
Dude, we have totally entered the Twilight Zone. This is crazy shit. Now she's offering to heal me with a power thing. Or she's coming to bring me my doom to make me feel better because she totally dumped Sammy. Why the hell did she dump Sammy?
I am totally confused, this is not cool.
"Yeah, uh... okay." I have no idea what to say, dude. "When're you going to be here?" I totally don't get this crazy shit.
The Snowflake's gone mental.
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"Natasha. The dead blonde chick. Not so dead. Really blonde."
If the rest of it wasn't a slap in the face, the hair color would be enough on it's owns. She's polite, she's alive, she thinks my baby is cute, and she's a blonde. I have multiple reasons to hate her, the least of which is that she's the reason why I'm not with Sam right now instead of cowering in fear in my car, at the hospital of all god damn places. If I were an intelligent slayer I'd use my abilities to make good on the assumption everyone had that she'd met her maker.
Sam would be unhappy about that though, so I could never get away with it. Unless I lied, and that would make me dishonest. I'm supposed to be teaching my daughter values. Killing someone and lying about it wouldn't be a very good thing. No matter how tempting the ass kicking is.
"Yeah, uh... okay. When're you going to be here?"
"I'm in my car, in parking lot. Julia's with me."
And how the hell do I explain the rest of it to him? I don't want to tell Madsen I'm scared. I'll never hear the end of it. Ever. Then I'll be alone, miserable, and easily made fun of.
Shit, why did I decide to help him while I'm so vulnerable.
For Sam, of course. Same reason why I do everything else.
"But..." Screw it, I'm just going to tell him. "I'm really afraid of hospitals. You're going to have to keep me distracted."
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Okay then, why isn't she up here? So she can explain to me all this crazy shit and fix my leg? And dude, it would have been so much better if she decided to do this shit after the competition. What the hell am I supposed to do now? It's just not cool.
All of the sudden now she's got a freaky healing power thing, and she broke up with Sammy, and the Natasha chick's alive, and... Dude.
I would have a freak out if it was all happening to me. I wonder how Sammy's dealing.
"But... I'm really afraid of hospitals. You're going to have to keep me distracted."
Dude, I don't know if that's totally great or totally weird. "Distracted how?"
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"Uhh..."
When its planes, its either Sam or Marcello using the mile high club as a means of getting me to forget. Or music, eyes closed, hand holding. For hospitals...I don't know. I haven't found a particular type of distraction yet. I just rememember that one time where they talked me through it, and I was fine. Well, I was petrified, but petrified and there. I'm brave enough to go when I have to, but not when I don't. On a lot of levels I know that I don't have to do this. I don't want to help him out after what he did.
As a matter of fact, I'd love to break his other leg. There would be a lot of irony to that too. Fixing one, breaking the other...I never said I wouldn't. Everyone knows I want to smack him for what happened with Alex. And with no witnesses other than Julia.
Damnit, the values thing strikes again. I really hate that.
"Keep me talking. Make me mad. I don't know. Just don't let me think about it."
This is going to be hard for him. He's stupid. Too stupid to know what to do in this situation. I shouldn't have bothered.
I sighed, holding the phone to my ear and getting out of the car, slamming the door, and getting Julia out of her seat.
Once again, Mommy's going through a crisis and she thinks its funny.
At least someone can laugh at this.
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Make her mad?
But, dude, if she comes up here and she's all mad, she's totally gonna kill me even if she wasn't thinking about it the first place. I mean, I can totally piss this chick off. It isn't hard, especially for me.
Why can't she just have the freak out over getting up here and just do it? Dude, this isn't fair.
"Okay, but you have to promise you're totally not gonna hit me after."
I sighed and thought about what would get at her most. "Uh... I don't know." Oh, wait. I have something. "Alex and I went on a date." I wonder if Sammy told her about this part already. "We went to the movies. It was actually pretty cool. No sex or anything. I really like her."
Dude, I do. And I think she likes me too. And that was probably not the cool thing to do, since it's true and I can't say I was making all that shit up.
Oh well, it's what she wanted dude.
Even if I'm totally going to die over it.
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"No way in hell."
Madsen is supposed to distract me, but if anything he says is something I can use against him in order to beat him, I'm going to. It's as simple as that. As simple as him being stupid and me attempting to regain the upper hand on a situation I really hate. And being stuck with him in my life is just...ugh.
"Uh... I don't know. Alex and I went on a date. We went to the movies. It was actually pretty cool. No sex or anything. I really like her."
I think I want to fucking murder this bastard. I mean, I'm moving in his direction anyway, I might as well, while I'm there. I could have Julia wait outside with a friendly nurse.
He LIKES her? It was bad enough when he was having sex with her! I'm never, ever talking to Alex again. It's her fault. Hers and his. And I won't have to talk to him anymore after this because Sam isn't going to want to be with me after he spends some time with Natasha, so I don't have to dwell on this. I don't.
It doesn't matter if I end up with nothing, I've already lost almost as much as I'm going to.
"See, distracting me that way is liable to get you killed. So help me god, Madsen, if you see her again, I'll put you back in the hospital, I won't heal you, and if you end up on life support I'll pay someone to pull the god damn plug. And guess what? I can afford that!"
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"Dude, you told me to!"
Oh come on, that's totally not cool. I cannot be blamed for that shit. I only pulled that card because I knew what'd get her pissed the fastest. It's not my fault it's totally what she didn't want to hear. I totally cannot be blamed dude.
Seriously.
"Alright, whatever, something else." I ignored the other shit about never seeing Alex again, I'm totally dead anyway. And if she wants to see me, she will, she it doesn't make a difference if I want to see her or not. But since I sorta do... Dude, just... Whatever.
The Snowflake totally needs to back off. She's the one making the stupid moves here, she just dumped Sammy. And I totally want an explanation for that shit once my leg is better.
If she doesn't kill me.
"Okay, so, what was the Natasha chick like? Was she nicer than you or something? That it?"
A little better... I think.
Dude, I can feel The Snowflake Rage all the way up here. Why am I doing this shit if I'm just going to die anyway?
Not. Cool.
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Do I care? Am I being logical right now? Am I ever being logical? No. So I don't care that I told him to. I was vauge. He took it too far. Now I want to strangle him. I have motivation to get up there so that I can strangle him. Or better yet, I'll smother him with a pillow. Julia would think it was a game. She'd laugh. I bet she wouldn't even know I killed him until Sam was old enough to explain to her that Mommy went to jail for manslaughter. If he didn't have her calling Natasha 'Mommy' by then.
Shit. I have to stay out of jail. Getting arrested would make it all too easy on that bitch, and why did they leave that person in their bed in the middle of the hallway? Are they...
Not going to think about it.
"Okay, so, what was the Natasha chick like? Was she nicer than you or something? That it?"
"No! You fucking asshole. She was blonde. And foreign. And she kept trying to be sweet about my daughter."
And I could have smacked her for that. I would have enjoyed it. Sam isn't with me now anyway, because of her presence, so letting loose wouldn't have made anything worse. I would have felt a little better for getting it out.
"She was not nicer than me. She was nothing like me!"
Guess he didn't miss me that much, he went for an opposite. I wonder what he's doing now. On second thought...I'll try not to.
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Dude, that sounds so horrible. Except totally not. She's so totally jealous, and she dumped Sammy over it. She's being crazier than usual, and I'm totally the one fearing for my life because of it. With a broken leg.
Not. Cool.
"She was not nicer than me. She was nothing like me!"
"Okay, okay. I was just asking." Totally doing what you wanted, Psycho Snowflake. What am I supposed to say? Just get up the stairs and get here already. Seriously. "So then if she's nothing like you, and Sammy obviously picked you, what'd you dump him for?"
Dude, I have to ask. I'd ask when she got here either way. And if she doesn't tell me, I'll end up finding out from Sammy. I'm surprised he hasn't called me yet, but he's probably cooling off. With the Natasha chick.
... I'm not sure if that's cool or not. Probably not.
"I know she was dead before or whatever, but still, I bet you anything one of the things he said was that he wasn't going to walk away." Because he so wouldn't. "So what'd you do it for?"
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"Because he didn't pick me! He never had the chance to pick, he thought she was dead."
I took the stairs, preferring that over the possibility of sharing an elevator with a doctor, a nurse, and a person on a gurney with one foot in a grave. As a general rule, death doesn't bother me. I'm a slayer. I've seen dead things, dead people, undead people. I've corned the market on supernaturual death. It's the whole 'human mortality' thing that scares the hell out of me. They come here to die, don't they? I mean, you wouldn't be in a hospital if you weren't sick in the first place, and usually by the time they figure out what's wrong, it's already too late.
That's how it happened with Grace. We all thought she was fine. No one noticed anything at work, she never missed any of Dan's soccer games. I know I couldn't tell. The next thing we knew, she didn't have any time left. I'll never understand how you can just go from healthy to helpless like that. Never.
"I know she was dead before or whatever, but still, I bet you anything one of the things he said was that he wasn't going to walk away."
Well, it's not a distraction I want, but it's one I could probably use at this point.
"He did. Yeah."
"So what'd you do it for?"
"Because I did. Alright?" No, it's probably not. But he isn't the one who just ruined the most important relationship of his life, so I think Madsen needs to find another thing to piss me off about, and not bother with trying to get me to elaborate. I'm not sure enough of anything to be elaborating right now.
On second thought...
"Because the only thing I've heard since Sam came back is how he's never leaving me again. He promised. Repeatedly." I sighed. "I don't want him to be stuck for the rest of his life because he's afraid to go back on his word."
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That makes it sound like she totally had every reason. "No dude, not alright." I couldn't help it. This is my best friend we're talking about here, it's totally my job to get this way. Sammy doesn't deserve to be dumped, not with how much he loves The Snowflake.
I mean, I don't see why, but Sammy's got his own tastes. Totally up to him. Even if it's sorta crazy.
"Because the only thing I've heard since Sam came back is how he's never leaving me again. He promised. Repeatedly."
How does that have anything to do with anything?
"I don't want him to be stuck for the rest of his life because he's afraid to go back on his word."
... Okay. She sort of has a point on that one. But it's still total bull. It's a pointless point. Flat out. I would so be having a freak out if I wasn't in a hospital bed, she's being that totally lame.
"To him, he's not stuck dude." I rolled my eyes, sitting up a bit more in the bed and wincing when I moved too far, and my leg moved in the cast. "He's totally past all that other shit in his life. Now it's totally all about you and Julia for him."
And if she doesn't get that, she's totally more of a psycho than I thought.
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"She was kissing him when I walked in."
He didn't look so past it with his mouth on the blonde. I mean, maybe it wasn't all him. Maybe she caught him off guard or something, but Sam being different now doesn't mean he's past her. He stopped drinking and had a baby with me. Those are life changes, but I don't see how they'd ever touch his feelings for her. And if she cared enough to come back, Natasha definitely wants Sam for herself. She's made that very, very clear. If Sam would rather be with Natasha, then it's not fair to either of us to keep pretending he's happy with me.
Unless he really is happy with me. Well, either way he's not happy with me at the moment. But if he's happier with me in the long run, Sam will tell me that. He'll come back, and he'll tell me that.
He won't just show up and get his stuff because I told him to take some time to himself. I meant what I said about this being a break. It isn't the same thing as breaking up. I'm going to behave myself, and wait for him to make his decision. If it was supposed to be worse than that, then I guess I'm out of luck. I can't see myself finding someone else even if I wanted to. I love Sam. I'm going to love him whether or not he picks me, but he has the right to decide for himself, either way.
"You want to tell me that this is it for him? That's fine." I pushed the door open and walked down another hall, trying to figure out which direction to go in to find Madsen's room.
"I want him to tell me that after he's had time to see what he'd be giving up."
And here it is.
Do I kick or smack?
...Not in front of Julia, damnit.
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"... Oh." Well, shit. That doesn't mean anything dude, seriously. She was kissing him. Totally does not mean Sammy was kissing her. And since I know Sammy's totally not like that to start kissing back or anything, that means he totally was too caught off gaurd to do anything about it.
Well, dude, if I saw an ex girlfriend chick that was supposed to be dead showing up at my door? I totally wouldn't know what to do. I don't think that Sammy can be blamed on this one.
"You want to tell me that this is it for him? That's fine."
I totally cannot believe she's pulling this shit. What a crazy Snowflake.
"I want him to tell me that after he's had time to see what he'd be giving up."
"Whatever." I looked up as she walked in, and flipped my phone shut. Yeah, she's pissed at me, but it's totally what she wanted. And I'm pretty sure she's not going to hit me with her kid in the room. Kinda.
Whatever, Julia's totally happy to see me.
"Hey Julia, what's up?" I grinned when she reached for me, and waited until The Snowflake finally brought her over before I took her, putting her on my lap and keeping her away from my leg.
I looked back over at The Snowflake. "So you know all this sh-- stuff is totally crazy, right?" Have to watch the langauge, kid in a room. Even if she totally doesn't do it, doesn't mean it's cool for me to do it.
That's right.
Madsen is the cool one.
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I closed my phone and slide it into the diaper bag I was shouldering, getting a good look at the injured dumbass while Julia started squealing with glee. She loves him, the traitor. And although that's something I'm perfectly willing to deal with now, her favoring men all the time could be a problem in the distant future. A problem in that I can picture Sam burning a lot of twelve year old boys because of it.
Accidently, of course. But still. How do you tell some kid's parents you wouldn't help yourself?
"Hey Julia, what's up?"
Julia instantly started reaching for him, twisting in my arms to try to get me to put her down. You would think all of my Uncle Dumb Dumb comments would have at least some small amount of influence over her, but it never turns out that way. I think she loves him more because she considers it funny. She's young, and confused, and he makes a lot of stupid faces when he attempts to think, and Julia likes that. I can't really help it.
"Mine!"
"You can have him, Jules."
I shook my head, trying not to smile at the way she was giggling at Madsen. Because Sam was gone all week and I was avoiding Madsen and Alex at all costs, she hasn't seen him in a while, and seeing him now is making her happy. Everything going on with me and Sam aside, I'm a little worried about this. Julia doesn't understand when the people she's used to seeing suddenly aren't around anymore.
Jake hates me. I...Sam might be around for her less, and I know that the same would go for Madsen as a result of the situation. Less Madsen wouldn't exactly break my heart, but...I don't want it to hurt her. She loves them.
"So you know all this sh-- stuff is totally crazy, right?"
Thanks for that vote of confidence, Madsen. Want to give me a minute so I can break your other leg? No? That's what I thought.
"It seemed perfectly logical at the time."
I can't defend it now, I know that. But when he was there and she was in the hall, when I was upset and sickeningly fake comments were being made, it felt right.
"But, yeah, I know."
I sat down on the edge of the bed, watching Julia stretch out her arms in an attempt to get at the adjustments for the bed. She loves to touch things. I wonder how much she'll damage while she's here.
I sighed, looking over at his cast.
"How're you feeling?"
Oh, don't look so surprised now.
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