(no subject)
I'm having trouble getting to sleep again, but once I am asleep, I literally could sleep all day, and I've wasted a lot of my days doing so.
Lately, I cannot stop over-analyzing things and breaking down life into exactly what it is made of; who we are physically; just a bunch of muscles, and neurons, and cells, and all that stuff. But I can't see the big picture, I just see all of the small things clumped together and it doesn't seem good enough. Just like I never feel good enough.
I can't stop thinking, but at the same time, it's like I'm not feeling what I'm thinking and I am so confused. I'm not sure if I'm confused.
Who I feel like on the inside, doesn't match what I perceive myself to look like on the outside.
It really feels like I have to decide everything about who I am and what I'm going to do with my life RIGHT NOW, but when I talked to my history of jazz professor, it seemed so easy for him to tell me that he thinks it is crazy that we think we have to decide everything about our lives right now. People change, opportunities change, situations change...I just often times feel like I can't even handle what I know now, and I continue to plan for changes that may or may not even happen and it drives me insane.
Lately, I cannot stop over-analyzing things and breaking down life into exactly what it is made of; who we are physically; just a bunch of muscles, and neurons, and cells, and all that stuff. But I can't see the big picture, I just see all of the small things clumped together and it doesn't seem good enough. Just like I never feel good enough.
I can't stop thinking, but at the same time, it's like I'm not feeling what I'm thinking and I am so confused. I'm not sure if I'm confused.
Who I feel like on the inside, doesn't match what I perceive myself to look like on the outside.
It really feels like I have to decide everything about who I am and what I'm going to do with my life RIGHT NOW, but when I talked to my history of jazz professor, it seemed so easy for him to tell me that he thinks it is crazy that we think we have to decide everything about our lives right now. People change, opportunities change, situations change...I just often times feel like I can't even handle what I know now, and I continue to plan for changes that may or may not even happen and it drives me insane.