Missing
Close your eyes and think about what you've been missing in your life lately. It could be a person, pet, place, thing, occasion, feeling. Anything at all that you miss dearly.
I miss the Library.
High school went boom, and the library was lost with it -- the first time. And even though I was part of the plan, that can't keep me from missing it any less. We had more time, the second go round, when Sunnydale got tired of feeding off us, and fed off itself for the first time. I am on the doubting committee that it will be the last, but still. More time. Yes that time was taken up with the more mundane things like jobs and bills on top of Buffy's annual rally to save the world. Our lives were bigger by then. I think because there were so many new people and places to miss, the actual missing of it got spread out a bit more.
But the library was, and will always be different. For the simple reason that it always was. Giles made it different. Buffy made it different. And I got to be different too, just for being there with them. There is a reason I don't miss the house I grew up in, or the exact streets I walked to school on most mornings. Because those aren't the ones that mattered.
The library was where I grew up. Where I found my best friends. Well, truthfully Xander and I predated that a bit, and Buffy sat next to me to eat lunch. But whenever I needed them everyday after that, most likely? The library. I was suddenly more than a walking book, and better than someone else's homework. The library gave all that to me.
But that was where I also learned how to take it.
Ok sure, sometimes the stacks had things hidden behind them that were hard to face. And there were conversations that were hard to hear. But we faced them down -- together. As hard as it was to quietly help Giles pack up everything that mattered from there, right before graduation? There was also a reason it all had to come down to there, and then.
It was the single place that mattered most -- that we would miss the most. And most days with this job, that is exactly what is asked of you.
I miss the Library.
High school went boom, and the library was lost with it -- the first time. And even though I was part of the plan, that can't keep me from missing it any less. We had more time, the second go round, when Sunnydale got tired of feeding off us, and fed off itself for the first time. I am on the doubting committee that it will be the last, but still. More time. Yes that time was taken up with the more mundane things like jobs and bills on top of Buffy's annual rally to save the world. Our lives were bigger by then. I think because there were so many new people and places to miss, the actual missing of it got spread out a bit more.
But the library was, and will always be different. For the simple reason that it always was. Giles made it different. Buffy made it different. And I got to be different too, just for being there with them. There is a reason I don't miss the house I grew up in, or the exact streets I walked to school on most mornings. Because those aren't the ones that mattered.
The library was where I grew up. Where I found my best friends. Well, truthfully Xander and I predated that a bit, and Buffy sat next to me to eat lunch. But whenever I needed them everyday after that, most likely? The library. I was suddenly more than a walking book, and better than someone else's homework. The library gave all that to me.
But that was where I also learned how to take it.
Ok sure, sometimes the stacks had things hidden behind them that were hard to face. And there were conversations that were hard to hear. But we faced them down -- together. As hard as it was to quietly help Giles pack up everything that mattered from there, right before graduation? There was also a reason it all had to come down to there, and then.
It was the single place that mattered most -- that we would miss the most. And most days with this job, that is exactly what is asked of you.